Archive for April, 2009

I’m Trying to Find Him!

You: Have you found him already?
Stranger: h
Stranger: found whom?
You: The one we were looking for of course!
You: Have you even started searching ? -_-
Stranger: ._.
Stranger: who were we looking for? i tend to forget
You: You have got to be fucking kidding me
You: I’ll go find him myself
Stranger: not kidding dude
You: Nemo!!! NEEEEMOOOOOOO!!!
You have disconnected.

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Pitching Film

Stranger: I love film.
You: cats?
Stranger: No no, film.
You: lotion?
You: those three would go great together
Stranger: Those don’t mix.
You: you could film the cats playing in lotion
You: it would be a hit
You: and you could add funny voice-overs
Stranger: [Gone to write script.]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Microsoft Support Service

You: Hello
You: Microsoft Support Service
You: How can I help you?
Stranger: hi
You: Please state your problem?
Stranger: well,i`d like juice:DDD
You: Have you tried a reboot?
Stranger: can you give me?
Stranger: please
Stranger: sorry?
You: Sir, have you tried a reboot?
Stranger: i speak english only little
You: Did you connect any new hardware?
Stranger: so…
Stranger: hardwawe????
You: What OS are you using?
Stranger: X)
You: Windows Vista?
Stranger: X)
You: XP?
Stranger: X)
Stranger: no…
Stranger: no YES
You: Is the keyboard responding?
Stranger:
Stranger: where are you from?
Stranger: yes
You: I cannot give that information sir.
Stranger: i`d like orangr juiceeeeeee
Stranger: IM WOMAN
You: Ah right
Stranger: girl,exactly
Stranger: not sir
You: I guess we found our problem.

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A Fat Loner

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: So you don’t have any friends as well?
Stranger: yea i do
You: Why omegle then?
You: Why not aim or something?
Stranger: my friends have jobs
You: What time is it at your place?
Stranger: 3:14 pm
You: And you’re unemployed, because?
Stranger: i dont kno everyone else is doing it
You: Dont you need some money?
Stranger: well im kinda stuck in this chair
Stranger: so i cant go get a job
You: So you’re fat?
Stranger: ……… no im paralized u dick

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Out of Ink

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You:
Stranger: hi
You:
You: Shit, I’m out of ink
Stranger: .out of ink?
You:
Stranger: is is sth wrong with your keyboard?
You: T is s weird
You: N , j st ut of nk
Stranger: that never happens on me
You: Wa t, I n ed t recha ge
You:
You: Yeah, finally
Stranger: ok
You: I got some new ink
Stranger:
Stranger: great
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Emo Alan

Stranger: hi
You: Just hit disconnect. I’m not worth it.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Excitable Eric

You: !
Stranger: I’m Eric!
You: Very much so!
You: I shall call you Excitable Eric!
Stranger: Awesome!
You: Yeah!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Stealthy Bastard

You: Awww, not another silent one
You: tsk.
You: Here I sit to ruminate…
Stranger: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,I am talking
You: Ahhh!
You: Don’t you EVER fucking sneak up on me like that again!
Stranger: Ummm, sorry?
You: WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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