Archive for May, 2009

Huge Blooper

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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I fucked my mom last night.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: your hilarious
You: OH SHIT! I mean your mom!
You: SHIT!
Stranger: omg i just peed myself of laughing
You have disconnected.

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He’s China, I’m Japan

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: chinese only
You: arigato!
You: or is that japanese?
You: who cares, both the same thing
Stranger: japanese?
You: aishiteru
Stranger: i am china
You: i am japan, nice to meet you china
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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How to Successfully Confront a Troll

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: I ATE A FLY AND IT’S TRYING TO COME BACK UP!
Stranger: Why is people so strange here.
You: Why “is” people so bad at grammar?
Stranger: What are you trying to achieve with that sentence?
Stranger: Do you think i’d consider that sentence inspiring and cool?
You: It’d be nice
You: but it’s all in fun
You: It’s like a one-night stand except the blondes don’t try to make more out of it
Stranger: like, oh my, he’s so random and fearless, he spit a sentence that made no sense right in my face
Stranger: Here we go again
Stranger: Do you think i was going to be impressed by that one too?
You: No, not really.
You: I know I wouldn’t be.
You: However, do you think I’m taking your trolling seriously?
Stranger: I do believe you’ve got a few issues with your penis
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Typical Omeglian

Stranger. Say hi!
You: All pseudo-intellectual idiots here
Stranger: sex pleaseee?
You: see?
You: ahahahaha
You have disconnected.

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How Embarrasing

Stranger: HELLO
You: hbgygyn mkjnhbygvf
You: FUCK
You: I just dropped my head
Stranger: shit
You: Sorry

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Yes, We Can

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You\’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: i guess the queen is not amused about it.
Stranger: indeed she is not
You: what shall we do now?
Stranger: barack obama is only solution
You: exactly. i think merkel would love the solution
You: but what about putin?
Stranger: putin wont handle it too well, actually he will loose his mind killing
Stranger: i say we go for barack obama, its economic and safe
You: they need help from ahmadinedschad
Stranger: indeed indeed
You: but we need immediate reaction, maybe from kim jong-il
You: well, ive got the perfect solution for the problem! lets ask jesus
Stranger: yes, but then we have an another problem; he\’s a alien
You: oh right. i thought about mohammed too but it wouldnt work out too
Stranger: then were back at the queen.. she will not be amused about the whole case
You: indeed
Stranger: so conclusion?
You: zeus?
Stranger: yep
You: splendid
You: we do a great job together
Stranger: i am happy that we solve the nortkorean problem, and am looking forward to talk to u in the future
You: so do i, it was very nice. farewell!
Stranger: farewell my friend. I hope we wont have any cases like this again, it was difficult , but toghether we made it.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Chatting with Satan

You: Hi You
Stranger: hi there
You: I’m Stranger #666
You: so how’s your day?
Stranger: wow cool
Stranger: lol
You: any catastrophe?
Stranger: its just started
Stranger: working right now
You: sorry..i mean yesterday
Stranger: yesterday
Stranger: was nice
Stranger: like everyday
You: i see…
Stranger: after work
You: having a good time eh
Stranger: i went out with my friends
Stranger: yes
You: ok…
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: what ’bout u?
You: great
You: a huge influx of ppl are entering my dimension
You: criminals, mass murderers, rapists
You: all waiting to be tortured
You: hehehe
Stranger: :)
Stranger: what do u do
You: just sit on my throne, with my pitchfork, watch to my delightment as thousands of ppl are being tortured
You: they deserved it anyway
Stranger: haha
Stranger: :D
Stranger: every one deserts it a bit
You: but some ppl are so evil i have to teach em a lesson
Stranger: sorry for my typing errors
You: its ok
Stranger: am a little bit drunk
Stranger: :)
You: i see
You: wait, u get drunk at the start of the day?
Stranger: i was drunk last night
Stranger: and it is effecting my performance even now
You: i see
You: must be one of my minions…he put a curse on you
Stranger: so i deserve ur tratment too maybe
You: erm…i guess i could give you a chance
You: but i must see whether my minion is willing to give u one
You: cuz he’s kinda rebellous
Stranger: i liked him
You: me too…he was my fav, always disobeying my orders
Stranger: enjoyable
Stranger: :)
You: when i want to give sum1 a chance, he wont obey
You: that’s why the world’s kinda screwed
Stranger: what can he do to me?
You: i dunno, he dun wish to tell me…
You: most likely either ur boss will scold u…or whatever
You: he’s kinda creative though
Stranger: :D
You: better watch out dude
You: right now he refuse to obey my order
You: therefore i could only wish u luck
Stranger: haha amazing
Stranger: i am waiting
Stranger: :)
You: i see…
You: so what u working as?
Stranger: chemical engineer
You: oh my…i bet my minion is planning on something cheeky
You: hehe…wonder what he’ll do to you eh…
Stranger: i hope he would be creative as u said
You: yeah…
You: btw, r u married
Stranger: no
You: i see…
You: what’s your hobby anyway?
Stranger: :)
Stranger: same casual things
Stranger: going to seaside
Stranger: cycling
Stranger: drinking
Stranger: etc
Stranger: urs?

Stranger: watching ur minion?
You: nah…either im watching ppl, watching the minions, listens to metal, play violent games…
You: or use the internet
Stranger: what do u like listening to?
Stranger: more
You: Thrash metal, death metal, anything..
You: but im more to Thrash Metal though
You: Death Metal is kinda boring to me after a while
Stranger: r u listening to something right now?

You: nope
You: in fact speaking about music, my minion created Soulja Boy and The Jonas Brothers just to ruin the music industry
Stranger: haha:)
You: they’re the product of my minion
You: in fact i think he created 50 cent too
Stranger: i see..
Stranger: :D
You: hehe…now the radio’s playing em
Stranger: 50 cent?
Stranger: hahaa
You: u know the rapper
Stranger: yes
Stranger: now i am listening to therion
You: hmm..seems like ppl are getting stupidier
You: i see
Stranger: -black diamonds
You: enjoy ur music
You: but watch out, u might hurt urself while working
Stranger: nothing happens
You: i hope so…u see, sometimes my minion failed
Stranger: i am the unbeliever one
You: and whenever he fails, i would laugh at him
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: :D
You: so i hope he’ll fail
Stranger: when it happens pls call me, we can watch and laugh together
You: ok…
You: ah btw, im sorry but another group of minions needs me
You: gtg
Stranger: ok
Stranger: c u
You: cya
Stranger: nice to talk to u
Stranger: :)
You have disconnected.

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C-c-c-combo breaker!

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You\’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: where is there
You: who is what
Stranger: what is when
You: how is null
Stranger: null is pull
You: pull is push
Stranger: push is nash
You: nash is dash
Stranger: dash is rush
Stranger: r u male
You: rush is fast
You: yes
Stranger: fast is bad
You: bad is good
Stranger: good is enough
You: enough is enough!
You: I have had it with these mother fuckin snakes
You: on this mother fuckin plane!
You have disconnected.

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