Archive for July, 2009

Teaching Grammar to Strangers.

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
You: Hello
Stranger: do you speak english?
You: Yep
Stranger: r u a boy?
You: God you are the funniest person i have ever spoken to.
Stranger: hmm ty?
You: I mean do you even realise how funny you are?
You: You are Gold.
Stranger: naa
Stranger: i dunt
Stranger: r u a boy?
You: But you should really improve your grammar.
You: Because people don’t understand.
Stranger: naaa its lazt typin
Stranger: lazy*
You: You keep believing that if you want…
Stranger: lolz
Stranger: i will
Stranger: i only write properly in school
You: That is awful, you should practise writing and speaking with a coherent tone all the time.
Stranger: naaa
Stranger: tat is not lyk me at all
You: That is blatantly obvious.
You: If you don’t mind me saying so.
Stranger: it’s ok
Stranger: i’ve heard worst
You: I like teaching people grammar, i think it gives me a purpose.
Stranger: lolz
Stranger: i take it your a girl rite?
You: Clever as well as humorous.
Stranger: lolz
Stranger: would it b shockin 2 u if im a girl 2?
You: No.
You: Goodbye, incoherent girl.
You have disconnected.

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Long Drop

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: m 45 behind you
You: AHHH
You: wait
You: i have a wall behind me
Stranger: im on the other side of the wall.
Stranger: wanna come play a game?
You: can you fly? im 21 stories up…
You: its a long drop behind me
Stranger: you die for that one.
Stranger: bitch.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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How fast can you get someone to disconnect?

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: hi
You: hi back
Stranger: asl?
You: 92 / m / outside your house

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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What do you take me for?

You: Hi
Stranger: Want to perform on cam for me?
You: not really
Stranger: no?
You: nope
Stranger: dammit
You: sorry
Stranger: :-(
Stranger: *sniff*
Stranger: poor penis
You: want to go find some other gullible young person?
You: i wont be offended
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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The Great Debate

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: If a taco fought a grilled cheese sandwich. who would win?
Stranger: depends
Stranger: whats on the taco?
You: WEll, you got the beef
You: the lettuce
You: the cheese
Stranger: well then hmmm
Stranger: i would say the taco
Stranger: cuz it has the cheese power of the sandwich yet not as much
Stranger: but its got the beef and lettuce speical ability
You: yeah
Stranger: so the taco would win but it would lose some hit points
Stranger: but wait
Stranger: is the sandwich grilled?!
You: yes
You: its grilled cheese
Stranger: hmmmmm
Stranger: oh dang
Stranger: but wait!
Stranger: wut if they didnt fight!
Stranger: what if they had a kid!
You: then would the grilled cheese have lettuce in it.
You: and would it poop beef
Stranger: and its weekness would be a hot babe with big boobs
Stranger: and sexy feet cuz its got a major foot fetish. it would melt
You: and become soup.
Stranger: yes
Stranger: then the sun would evaporate it over time
Stranger: and then ittl rain
Stranger: and make cabbage grow
Stranger: and the cabbage will end up being lettuce on a taco!
Stranger: then the taco will meet a grilled cheese sandwich!
Stranger: BAM
Stranger: i think thats funny junk material
You: and then they will live happily ever after.
You have disconnected.

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It’s true.

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
You: Hello
You: I hate hi-ers
Stranger: why?
You: They’re lacking in depth and intellect.
You: As opposed to us Hello-ers
Stranger: no
Stranger: Hello is from them who just learn englis
You: That’s a strong argument. I’m impressed with this.
You: You need to use Hello then, by the looks of it.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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A what?

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Hey sexypants.
Stranger: Hey, Gay, Bi or Hetero Man (Im a Gay Man, Be Honest about Sexuality)
You: I’m bi.
You: But I also have a vagina.
Stranger: you are a guy?
You:
You: I ALSO HAVE A VAGINA.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Quickie

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: hello
Stranger: Why haven’t we had sex yet?
You: I don’t know. Crazy huh?
You: Maybe it’s because we’re both male.
Stranger: That’s even stranger. We both should\’ve came by now.
You: I’ve come twice since we started talking
Stranger: I like you.
You: Oh, there I go again!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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