Archive for September, 2009

Prick.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 22, male, UK, nudist, you?
You: 19, male, cactus. This relationship my not work out.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Dairy Queen or Else!

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I see dead people
You: I have your frog. And if you ever want to see Hoppy again, you need to bring 17 Dairy Queen Blizzards to teh corner of 5th and Main tomorrow evening, at 6pm.
You: And come ALONE!
You: I don’t have time for games. You need to be alone.
You: And dressed only in a pink satin tutu.
Stranger: Listen to me you sone of a bitch if you harm one hair on Hppys body i will kill you
You: Hoppy only has ONE hair.
You: Now follow directions, or that hair is GONE.
You: Now, do you understand what you must do?
You: Don’t make me repeat myself.
Stranger: Yes….But You’ll never get away with this….You know that right?
Stranger: The cops are gonna find you
You: Let me put it in a way you’ll understand. If you alert the cops . . . Frog Legs are going to be on the menu.
Stranger: oh my….I guess I have no choice
You: Right now, Hoppy is happy.
You: Hoppy is enjoying himself in a brand new tank.
You: Clean water, fresh flies.
You: That ALL changes if you screw this up.
Stranger: ok ok ok…….17 Dairy Queen Blizzards got ya
You: I don’t care what flavor. But they had BETTER be fresh.
You: NO tricks!
You: And don’t try substituting one of those substandard McDonald’s knock-offs, you hear me?
Stranger: damn you!
You: You think you’re the only one who’s tried that with me?
You: I’ve been doing this a very long time.
You: I know ALL the tricks, the cons.
You: DAIRY QUEEN.
You: ONLY!
Stranger: yeah I will get you want you need…I hope you chocke on the snikers
You: Good. We understand each other.
You: Looks like Hoppy will live another night.
You have disconnected.

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The Best Insults Are When They Go Over Their Head

You: You ever had this happen: Where your just in the middle of something somewhere maybe shopping and suddenly your brain flashes back to something 10 years ago compltely independent of what your doing at the time at random
Stranger: no stop chatting chit
Stranger: shit**
You: Your command over the english language is only exceeded by your ability to stimulate a conversation
Stranger: WTF!!!
You: Ahh I’m sorry I must be speaking over your head let me bring it down a notch. Your choice of words is horrible but the only thing worse if your ability to kill a conversation.
You: Should I take it down another level and remove any words with more then two syllables?
Stranger: posh idiot u make no sence
You: Ohh a UKer
You: Do I need to put this in Cockney?
Stranger: why whwere u frim
Stranger: from**
You: The United States
Stranger: ohh
Stranger: yous r just as bad
Stranger: us is full ov gangstas
You: If Im as bad as the way your able to communicate the language your country created I am in dire straights indeed
Stranger: ahh good bye u make no senceeee
You: lol Good Day Ma’am or Sir
Stranger: dont call me ma am
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Granny Love

You: when i get older
You: i want to die of old age
You: in my granny’s arms
Stranger: aww you hope that your granny will still be alive then ?

You: hmmm
You: good point
Stranger: lol
You: that’s kinda wrecked my plans
Stranger: when i die i dont want to be there then
Stranger: sorry :(
You: s’ok
You: i’ll have to borrow someone else’s granny
You: =)
Stranger: :D
Stranger: funny way to start conversation
Stranger: dont people usually disconnnect ? :D
You: yeah, i dont know why
You: everyone loves theirgranny
Stranger: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Easy come…

You`re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: boo!
Stranger: aaagh!
You: yess. one point to me!
Stranger: no, i just came
You: touche.
You: well, my job is done here..
Stranger: yep
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Dirty talk.

Stranger: will you talk dirty to me ?
You: Sure!
Stranger: pls do im horny
You: When was the last time you took a bath you dirty boy!
You: WIPE THAT MUD OF YOUR CHEEK.
You: It is mud right?
Stranger: wtf?
You: You better wash your dirty mouth!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Just how French are you?

Stranger: im french
You: Just how French are you?
Stranger: ?
Stranger: 60.000.000 frenches
You: That’s very French.
Stranger: ><
You: Did I do something wrong?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Everyone’s always looking for From.

Stranger: Hi, from?
You: No, I’m not From.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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