Archive for October, 2009

Apologies

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi, 20 / Male / Gay / Horny
You: howdy 20/male/gay/horny, sup
Stranger: :)
You: oh wait…i was addressing you by your name, not inferring i was of similar age/tastes.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Indeed

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey, australian here.
You: Sir?
Stranger: yes
You: I have disposed of the body.
Stranger: excellent.

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Is that a yes?

Stranger: Heya 17/M With Webcam Want To See On MSN?
You: Hm… Are you straight?
Stranger: yes
You: I mean, absolutely without a doubt straight?
Stranger: yes
You: But would you have sex with David Bowie?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Let’s Have Some Fun.

You: hi there.
Stranger: male?
You: yeah.
Stranger: do u want to have fun with me?
You: what kind of fun?
You: scrabble?
You: monopoly?
Stranger: no cyber sex fun
You: that doesn’t sound too fun.
You: i’d rather play checkers.
Stranger: huh? what age are u man
You: or some chess.
You: i’m great at chess.
Stranger: fuck off
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Insensitive.

You: i bet you’re british.
Stranger: No
Stranger: I’m asian
You: lol, tiny penis?
Stranger: My family is Jewish
You: tiny circumsised penis?
You: AN ASIAN JEW, OMFG.
Stranger: I’m a girl
You: congrats.
You: tiny circumsised boobs?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Great minds think alike

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi looking for a horny girl to swap pics, webcam, or cyber with
You: hi looking for a horny girl to swap pics, webcam, or cyber with
You: fuck
You: all right i’ll see you later.
You have disconnected.

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Fail Encounter

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: 16/uk/f
Stranger: cool
Stranger: 16 m usa
Stranger: what do you like to do?
You: i like to help the BDC crack down on paedophilia in my spare time, you?
Stranger: cool
Stranger: i play football, eat and sleep
Stranger: haha
You: damn you didnt react how i wanted
Stranger: LOL
You: check out omegle chats in a few days
Stranger: that’s cuz i’m not a perv?
You: yeah lol, you cant tell though
Stranger: haha
Stranger: true
You: http://www.omeglechats.com/
You: youl be on there :p
You: bye
You have disconnected.

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Oh My Lol

/*
A little backstory:
I was going for a normal troll in the beginning, but I decided to go further when I noticed he hadn’t caught on. Epic Googling ensued as I searched for “where I (Sarah) live” and “who my science teacher is”, and actually convinced him that I lived near him.
I quickly signed up an MSN account. We got on MSN and, due to the massive amounts of hilarity, I forgot to save the logs. Can you guess what happened? (find out what happens at the end of the chat).
*/
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: how are you
You: how are you
Stranger: i’m fine
You: i’m fine
Stranger: good
You: good
Stranger: where are you?
You: where are you?
Stranger: texas
You: texas
Stranger: no way
You: no way
Stranger: what city?
You: what city?
Stranger: austin
You: I live in Austin too! :)
You: :-)
Stranger: are you serious?
You: Where do you live in Austin?
You: Yes I’m serious
Stranger: whoooo!
You: Where in Texas?
Stranger: dripping springs
You: wow
You: I live in the area
Stranger: what?
You: I live in Dripping Springs
Stranger: do you really?
You: yeah
You: What’s your address?
Stranger: for real? what part?
You: Near the First Baptist Church
Stranger: not on the first date
Stranger: whats your name?
You: If I can’t get an address or name
You: neither can you
Stranger: fine
Stranger: are you a guy or girl
You: girl
Stranger: ok, how old?
You: 15
Stranger: ah, i’m a boy, 17
You: cool
Stranger: yeah, what school do you go to?
You: Dripping Springs High
Stranger: sweet!
Stranger: me too!
You: Cool
You: What’s your name?
Stranger: Zach
Stranger: yours?
You: Sarah
Stranger: are you on dance?
You: No
Stranger: oh
Stranger: hmmm
Stranger: Whose your science teacher?
You: Mr. Blume
Stranger: I have Mr Lotherback
You: oh
Stranger: I cant believe we’re from the same school
You: Me neither its so weird!
Stranger: Why were you copying me earlier
You: I didn’t read what you said lol
Stranger: This is like 1 in a 1000000000 chance
You: really
You: it’s so weird!
Stranger: Is your hair brown?
You: no
Stranger: I guess we’ve never seen each other
You: What’s your last name?
Stranger: Mitchergul
You: What’s your phone number? I want to call you and maybe we could meet some time
Stranger: definatly not, creepy internet person
You: okay
Stranger: we can talk on msn though
You: okay
Stranger: msn?
You: oh sorry I didn’t answer my mom called me
You: ****@***.com
Stranger: ******@****.com
Stranger: so on a scale on 1-10 how good looking are you?
You: I dont know
You: I’d say 7
Stranger: add me then
Stranger: What the hell is wrong with you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
/*
Did you guess what happened?
I sent him a file named “pictures.rar”. Any diligent user of the internet would immediately do a double take and decline the transfer. He, however, being the gullible little soul he is, downloads and looks at my beautiful pictures. They just happen to be the pain series, courtesy of the Internet Hate Machine.

– TRloling
*/

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