Archive for December, 2009

Wonder Twins

You: Hai, my name is Pam and I am looking for revenge buttsecks with a stranger.
Stranger: form?
You: Water.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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I’m Psychic

You: OUCH.
You: I don’t have a cam, I’m not horny, I’m not over 18, and I don’t wanna cyber.
Stranger: horny male 18 trying to find a girl to cam with
You: I KNEW IT.
Stranger: ?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Mom, I’m a Pornstar.

Stranger: Mom, I’m a pornstar.
You: Just don’t tell your father.
Stranger: Don’t tell daddy?
You: Yus.
You: -whispers- he’s a porn addict.
Stranger: Oh God. How’d you find out?
You: Well lets just say that the VCR isn’t a good hiding place.
You: .. neither is the closet.
Stranger: Aw, God.
Stranger: If he finds out, is he going to…like watch me?
You: I’m afraid so.
Stranger: Oh shit. This won’t be good.
You: Well.. there is only one solution.
Stranger: What is that?
You: Burn the evidence.
Stranger: Burn it? I have to turn it in though!
You: No, we’re burning you. -grabs molotov-
Stranger: MOM NO! -cries-
You: IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!
Stranger: -slaps you and scratches you- Mom! I’m your daughter!
You: THEN WE DIE.. TOGETHERRRRRRRR. -throws molotov in the air-
You: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!
You have disconnected.

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Lies

You: Mudkipz liek me.
Stranger: i am a mudkip.
Stranger: and i do not like you
You: That’s a lie.
Stranger: Lies are nothing.
You: Then you are nothing.
You: Your life is a lie.
Stranger: But i am not a lie
You: You are living one.
You: So.. you are living nothing.
You: So you are not living.
Stranger: No I am not, good sir.
You: So you are dead.
You: AHEM.. I’m a lady.
Stranger: AHEM.. I’m a mudkip.
Stranger: which means I am not a lie
You: AHEM NO.. You’re dead.
Stranger: AHEM..No I am not.
You: AHEM yes you are, unless yer a zombie, I don’t see how you’re even here.
Stranger: AHEM.. So if what you’re saying is correct, that I am dead because I’m a lie, does that mean the cake is also too, a lie?
You: Yes, the cake is a lie.
Stranger: So yes, I am dead?
You: You are dead and so is the cake.
Stranger: So, technically speaking, I am a zombie?
You: Technically, yes.
Stranger: Why can I not be a ghost?
You: Ghosts are too cool for you.
You: I’m also a lie, only I’m king boo. Yer just.. a zombie in mercy hospital waiting to get his head blown off.
You: Lmao at my video game references.
Stranger: lmao.
Stranger: so, does this mean I have no emotions?
Stranger: And that the “lmao” i just expressed is too, a lie?
You: Pretty much.
Stranger: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUU
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Lovers Over Space

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: horny?
You: I love you
Stranger: really?
You: always
Stranger:
You: *hugs*
Stranger: *hugs back*
Stranger: this is nice :)
You: i know!
You: thats why i love you :D
Stranger: i love you too
Stranger: you give me hugs
You: *hugs*
You: Bye!
Stranger: *hugs back*
Stranger: bye
You have disconnected.

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stupid people remain stupid

You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: m or f ?
You: f
Stranger: age?
Stranger: where u come from
You: i’m 86 and i’m from hell
You: XD
Stranger: lol
You: bahahaha
You: lets play
Stranger: ok
Stranger: to long…
You: ahhh damn
You: i dropped my hand

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Uninteresting

You: Tell me something interesting about yourself.
Stranger: i am a 24 yr old uni syudent training to be a vet, i am a female
Stranger: student*
You: I said something INTERESTING.
You: Try again.
Stranger: screw u
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Robots

You: Hi
You: I’m a stranger
Stranger: Hi asl
You: 25/m/fl
You: u?
Stranger: 19 m fl
You: hawt, wanna cyber
Stranger: Um ok
You: ok, i put my robot penis in your flux capacitor
Stranger: Umm what
You: nothing
Stranger: Ok
You: Do you need to get warmed up or something?
Stranger: Umm sure yea
You: I thought we were both robots?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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