Archive for January, 2010

Not Into Rhinos

Stranger: hey
You: hey
Stranger: im horny
You: cool
You: are you like
You: a rhino or something
You: ?
Stranger: kinda its a big horn
You: do you like
You: eat leaves
You: and run into people
You: with your horn
You: and kill them?
Stranger: yea im not into that
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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So how ya been

You: Hi.
Stranger: r u a horny girl
You: Let me check..
You: todays your lucky day
You: I am a horny chick
Stranger: do you have a pic
You: Um…
You: Do you know any good child porn websights
Stranger: no sry
You: Really
You: wow
You: Whats your address
Stranger: im not telling you that
You: Why im so horny
You: Whats your credit card number
You: And name
Stranger: dont have one
You: how do i get your money
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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jamie?

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: bob?
Stranger: yeah!
Stranger: jamie?
Stranger: jamie is that you?
Stranger: oh please god, let that be jamie
You: YES BABY
Stranger: HALLELUJAH
You: i miss u
Stranger: no, i just wanted to let you know you owe me 3 dollars
Stranger: from middle school
Stranger: i want it back
Stranger: now
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Who to be who to be…

Stranger: ASl
Stranger: ASL
Stranger: aSL
Stranger: as
You: Okay
You: Just one second I have to think of what kind of horny chick I will be.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Fowl Stuff

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: CHICKEN!
You: WHERE?
Stranger: IN THAT CORNER!
You: GODAMN CORNER CHICKENS!
You: I HATE THOSE CORNER-LOVING FOWL!
Stranger: GET IT D:< TACKLE IT
Stranger: GO GO GO!!
Stranger: EAT ITS LEG!
You: I AM AFRAID OF POULTRY!
You: DUE TO AN UNFORTUNATE TURKEY INCIDENT IN MY YOUTH.
Stranger: OMG YOU CHICKEN!! THEN GET THE BEEF IN YOUR ROOM
You: BUT THE BEEF IS SO RICH WITH MASCULINE BEAUTY!
Stranger: ….>.> now you wanna DATE the beef?
Stranger: DEAR LORD!
You: NO.
Stranger: THE HUMANITY!
You: I JUST ADMIRE IT.
You: LIKE THE STATUE OF DAVID.
You: EXCEPT, MADE OF BEEF>
You: INSTEAD OF MARBLE.
Stranger: OMG YOU HAVE A STATUE OF MY BROTHER?!?!
Stranger: YOU STALKER
You: NOT YOUR DAVID.
You: THOUGH I HAVE A FEW CHEEKY POLAROIDS.
Stranger: OMG D:< ONE OF HIM IN THE BATH TUB?!
Stranger: YOU PEDO!
You: YES. WITH THE BUBBLES ARTFULLY PILED UPON HIS HEAD LIKE A MAGNIFICENT ELTON JOHN COSTUME WIG!
Stranger: OMG!!! DX
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Tips for a killer

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: where is a good place to hide a dead body
You: ?
You: i need to know
Stranger: inside another dead body
You: excellent thanks
Stranger: no one will check there
You have disconnected.

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Unforgiving

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: before we start
You: warn me before disconnecting
You: so i may mend my ways
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Impatient panda-lover

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hola
You: tell me, why is everyone so impatient
Stranger: um
Stranger: idk
You: hmm
You:
You: do you like pandas
You: or
You: do you like panthers
Stranger: theyre cool
Stranger: wtf
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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