Archive for April, 2010

The evils of Sparklefarts

You: mook! 8D
Stranger: moot! :D
You: .. mook vs moot? D:
Stranger: D:
You: BUT THESE TWO THINGS SHOULD NOT FIGHT
You: THEY SHOULD LIVE IN PERFECT HARMONY
Stranger: OKAY
You: LIKE EBONY
You: AND IVORY
Stranger: FORGET I SAID ANYTHING
Stranger: I KNOW WHAT EBONY AND IVORY ARE CAUSE OF ANIMAL CROSSING
You: .. I feel guilty now ;___;
Stranger: JUST THOUGHT I SHOULD SHARE THAT
Stranger: *awkward silence*
You:
You: ……
You: ……….
You: WHO LIKES PENGUINS?! 8D
Stranger: EWW
Stranger: DA PANDAS IS WHERE ITS AT YO
You: .. D:
You: I didn’t think about this .__.
You: I’VE BEEN WRONG MY WHOLE LIFE
You: FORGIVE ME, MOTHER!! D8
Stranger: I DON’T THINK I CAN
Stranger: THIS AMOUNT OF WRONG IS IMMENSE
Stranger: I MIGHT HAVE TO ABANDON YOU
Stranger: AND RELEASE YOU INTO THE WILDERNESS
You: How immense are we talking here, mother?
You: like..
You: as immense as your ass, immense? 8O
You:
You: wait..
You: I just made a Ur Mom joke
You: against myself ;__;
You: WHY DOES NOTHING EVER GO RIGHT D8
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: SORRY
Stranger: I WAS TALKING TO THIS OTHER GUY ON OMEGLE
Stranger: AND HE’S TELLING ME HOW HE’S TAKING A SHIT
Stranger: WTF MAN
You: … whut
You: the fook? XDD
Stranger: ikr
Stranger: D:
Stranger: SO LIKE
Stranger: YO MOMMA’S SO STUPID SHE TRIPPED OVER A WIRELESS PHONE
Stranger: HURHURHUR
You: WELL
Stranger: WELL?
Stranger: HMMMM?
Stranger: OH WAIT
Stranger: I FORGOT I WAS YO MAMMA
Stranger: D: !
You: …. you tripped over a wireless phone? .__.
You: we should
You: like
You: take you to a hospital or something
You: you could have concussion D:
Stranger: D:
Stranger: SAVE MEH, MAH DAUGHTERRR
You: O___O
You: BUT HOW, MOTHER?! HOOOOWWWW?!!?!
Stranger: DO CPR ON ME
Stranger: OR GET EDWARD
Stranger: HE’LL SUCK MY BLOOD OUT
Stranger: AND HE SPARKLES
You: D:
You: BUT PAEDOPHILE FART-FAIRIES SCARE MEEEE ;___;
Stranger: BE BRAVWE
Stranger: BRAVE
Stranger: FOR YOUR MAMMA!
You: OH MAMMA
You: HOW DO I SUMMON THE SPARKLEFART? D:
Stranger: UMMM
Stranger: YOU BLEED FROM YOU NECK
You: BUT I THOUGHT HE THOUGHT HUMAN BLOOD WAS ICKY-POO
You: (interesting fact; did you know that the vast majority of the contents of poop is actually used-up blood? It’s true! 8D)
Stranger: EW
Stranger: WHAT THE FUCKL
Stranger: EWWW
Stranger: SO NASTY
Stranger: EWW
Stranger: GROSS
You: (which would add a whole new spin on things if you mix together Twilight and 2Girls1Cup D:)
Stranger: W2EWRUIEHWFJKLHNASDFASDF
Stranger: OKAY I LOVE YOU AND ALL SINCE YOUR MY DAUGHTER
Stranger: BUT MY MENTAL IMAGE IS RUINED
Stranger: ;___;

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A Wake Up Call

Stranger: whats up
You: the sky
Stranger: hahah funny
Stranger: whats down
You: your confidences
You: thats why your on omegle
You have disconnected.

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It’s not *that* cool

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: HELLO!!!
You: in west philadelphia
You: born and raised
Stranger: born and raised
Stranger: bel air’d
Stranger: wow
You: oh SNAP
You: on the playground is where i spent most of my days
Stranger: dude. i get it. it’s the fresh prince theme song
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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dinosaur!

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: banana
Stranger: camel
You: i can camel to
You: cool!
Stranger: watermelon
You: watermelon is hard man
Stranger: dinosaur
You: dinosaur
You: hmm
You: never done that
You: you?
Stranger: all the time
Stranger: xD
You: coool
You: i can ferret though

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658 pounds of sex

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi :)
Stranger: hi
Stranger: weight
You: Wow, I think this conversation hit a new low of shallow
Stranger: wow
You: I weigh 658 lbs
You: Sexy?
You: very
Stranger: yeah
You: I know, I am a sexy beast
You: GET IN MY BELLY
Stranger: 送what?
Stranger: so whay、
You: I want some baby back, baby back ribs
Stranger: whay?
You: I have bigger pieces of shit than you
Stranger: wow
You: wow
Stranger: e
You: thats what she said
Stranger: ur age
You: 16
Stranger: add me
Stranger: MSN
You: whats your asl?
Stranger: 18
Stranger: f
You: oh ew
You: lezbo
Stranger: yeah
You: perv
You have disconnected.

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Harry fvcking POTTER

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey there, stranger!
You: Hey.
Stranger: What’s up?
You: well im stuck on the my staircase. i cant get into the dorm because the staircase wont stop moving. and im freaking out because the dementors are now on the dark lords side
You: and all i want to do is graduate
You: but fucking harry potter
You: Its offical. I hate harry potter. I want him to get expelled. Every year, something completely fvcked up happens here. First, it was a huge troll, then it was a giant snake that groze ppl. After that, it wa two big viscious dogs one of which was an actual werewolf. And have we forgotten about the dementors??? NONE OF THIS WOULDVE HAPPENED IF HARRY POTTER WASN’T HERE!! Its his fault dombledore died.
Stranger: I know, right! That jerk has messed everything up…
You: yeah and i just want to get out of here and take my apperiating test and then i can do whatever the f*ck i want to do
Stranger: I feel the same…I wish they would just forget the whole coming-of-age-to-apparate law…it’s a real pain in my ass
You: god and i know
You: and if they take the f*cking charm off of hogwards
You: hogwarts*
Stranger: really, though…
You: i know i just wish the dementors would kiss him already i dnt even give a fuck if all the mudbloods die
Stranger: hey, now. there are some pretty kick-ass muggleborns out there….but he should just get it over with, really
You: who harry?
You: or the dark lord?
Stranger: both
You: yeah i know and we dnt even know if the chosen one is harry i think its nevielle
You: hes hot….
You: i wish he wasnt such a loser
You: i wuld mack on him
Stranger: Honestly, I think it’s Neville too….I just wish peopel would stop giving him such a hard time…jerks/…
You: i know god im glad snape is dead
You: he was such a dickk
Stranger: agreed!
You: god and f/ck im still stuck on my staircase. fml
You: and headless nick wnt leave me alone
You: he keeps looking up my skirt
Stranger: he really is a pervy ghost, isn’t he….
You: yeah and moaning mertyle is so desperateee
Stranger: ugh, don’t get me started
You: she tried making out with Cho…
Stranger: i knew it!
You: yeah! and then when …. you know who died. she was so messed up she went along with it. and know she is black mailing her into like stripping for her and stuff
You: its horrible!
Stranger: poor Cho…she never will be the same, will she?
You: never. and harry ALSO screwed her up
You: god i cant believe him
You: and ron… hes hot… but he thinks hes so cool since hes harrys friend. and f*cking him and hermionie
You: i used to be friendly wit her
You: she thinks everyones so stupid compared to her… sorry i have a life and dnt hide in the library every day
Stranger: i know, right? Not everyone needs to know everything about everything. like, fvck
You: god i know and dude… me and fred had a thing.
You: and now that hes dead
You: george thinks he can get in my pants
You: and im like seriouslyy???
Stranger: poor fred….and you lucky bitch! i’d take the twins anyday…but that’s just insensitive
You: i know! he had a fucking huge d1ck!!!!
Stranger: orly!
You: yeah! he ended up doing most of the stuff to me since imy mouth wasnt big enough
Stranger: geez
You: yeah well im about to enter my room so il talk to you later bye!
You have disconnected.

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Oops, typo.

If you tried emailing me yesterday via the link on the site about purchasing, send me another mail at omeglechts@gmail.com

Typo’d the addy on the original post. :(

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Sneaky Sneaky.

You: f*ck me.
Stranger: no, f*ck you.
Stranger: oh wait.
You: Which is technically me from my screen.
You: I still win ;)
Stranger: CHEATER.
Stranger: sneaky sneaky.

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