Archive for June, 2010

Beatles

You: John Lennon? Is that you?
Stranger: Yes
You: Ahh I’ve missed you.
Stranger: ringo is that you?
You: Ahh yeah!
Stranger: Yay. I miss ya man
Stranger: here comes the sun do do do do
You: How you’ve been?
Stranger: Ive been alright, just chillin in hevan making music. Wbu ? hows earth ?
You: It’s lonely without you man.
Stranger: I know, theirs an empty pice in my heart
Stranger: hows paul ?
You: He’s nice, met himself Marilyn Monroe the other day.
You: She’s a nice lady.
Stranger: Good good. Im happy for my ole’ chap
You: Yeah me too. He was getting lonely
You: Hey, Gossip Girl is on. I have to go. I’m glad I’ve gotten to talk to you man.
Stranger: Peace out man
You have disconnected

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

Fishy

You: I got oral sex from a fish, it’s okay though. It was a blow fish.
Stranger: I like you.
Stranger: A lot.
You: YAY! :)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

Covering The Bases

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: yes.
Stranger: no.
You: danger.
Stranger: will robinson
You: wait. are we playing some stupid word association thing?
Stranger: I don’t know?
You: i like the chats where we pretend to know each other instead.
You: bob!
Stranger: Oh hey!
Stranger: I missed you!
You: How you been?
You: actually, this i lame. let’s pretend to be setting up a drug deal.
You: So just leave the money in the car.
Stranger: Okay
You: Then I’ll dump all the stuff of in the park at the regular bench
Stranger: Next to the hobo?
You: Yah. The smelly one.
Stranger: Okay
Stranger: I’ll be there
You: ok… now let’s pretend one of us is a horny dumbass on omegle, and the other pretend to be a hot chick to screw with him.
You: asl?
Stranger: 18 female US ;)
You: wanna cyber?
You: cuz that’s hot. cuz i’m horny.
Stranger: Oh yeah, and I’m so hot.
Stranger: I have a face made for radio
You: Better than my last gf, her face was made of actual radios.
You: oh baby.
Stranger: I’ll show you my radio
You: This is creepy. How about we talk about Pokemon. People on the internet like that.
You: A WILD SNORLAX APPEARS!
You: or something.
Stranger: I don’t really know about pokemon
You: shit.
Stranger: squirtle!
You: YES.
You: that was a fast google
Stranger: I choose you… CHARZARD
Stranger: I actually know a little
You: right on.
You: Ok, how about we
You have disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

Lost in Translation

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: domo arigato
Stranger: chinese
You: mexican
Stranger: coll~
Stranger: cool
You: we’re naming what we ate for lunch right?
You: because I ate mexican.
Stranger: …hate?
You: no, i like mexican very much.
You: that’s why i ate it.
Stranger: ate..= =
You: …ate.
Stranger: what’s your think about china
You: i don’t like the buffets very much
Stranger: you have been there???
You: to the chinese buffet, yes.
You: but I like mexican better.
You: So I ate it.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

Something Funny

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: hi
You: u want a spoon?
Stranger: sure
You: will cost u a quarter
Stranger: this joke going somewhere?
You: ohhh a fiesty one
You: this would be the part where u say something funny
Stranger: something funny
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast)

4 Comments

We have reached an impasse

You: Hello. I’m an atheist looking to debate. How about it?
Stranger: Looking for horny girl to cam with
You: we have reached an impasse.
You have disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

I Guess Cowboys Are Not Human…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: HOWDY PARTNER!
You: What’s up?
Stranger: i`m a cowboy that`s what`s up!
You: That’s pretty awesome
Stranger: yeah it is!
You: How is your cowboy life going?
Stranger: pretty dang good
Stranger: are you a cowboy too?
You: No, sadly.
Stranger: aww
You: I’m sorry
Stranger: that`s okay
Stranger: so if you`re not a cowboy… what are you?
You: I am a human lol
Stranger: wwooooaahhh
You: Yup. I know. Pretty amazing
Stranger: do you have any special powers?!
You: Yup. I can take this practially NOTHING and push it in and out of my sinuses
You: And this red goo flows through my body
Stranger: wooooaaahhhhh
You: I know!
You: It amazes me too!
Stranger: does this red goo taste good?
You: No
Stranger: darrn
You: Sorry. Again
Stranger: do you have any other special powers?
You: There are these white things in my body. They hold me up. But they can break and stuff which hurts.
Stranger: oh god that`s incredible
Stranger: i wish i had those white things in my body…
You: And I need this stuff called food to keep me alive. I put it n my mouth, a giant hole on my face, and chew it with things called teeth and pucsh it down this long track called a throat
Stranger: oh my god are you like… a magician or something?
You: Kind of
Stranger: hm… so how are you?
You: I am pretty good. Listening to music
Stranger: that sounds fun
You: It is
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

mutated hand removal

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: morning
You: evening
Stranger: close enough
Stranger: hows things?
You: good
You: i just got surgery to remove the mutated hand from my butt
You: :)
Stranger: sounds enjoyable
Stranger: they give you a local or general anaesthetic for that?
You: yes it was and at the end i got a piece of candy for being good
Stranger: what kind of candy?
You: ULTIMATE CANDY!!!!!
Stranger: and what is ultimate candy?
You: when you eat it you get so hyper you can fly
Stranger: so its red bull candy
You: yes
Stranger: i bet that tastes horrible
You: no it was the most delicios piece of candy i have ever had
Stranger: this coming from the person who until recently… had a mutated hand in their ass
You: what does that have to do with my ability to taste candy
Stranger: well… it had to end up there somehow… which shows your judgement is questionable
You: i was born with it
Stranger: and they left it in until now
Stranger: lazy surgeons
You: it is a rare disorder
You: i couldn’t get enough money to pay for it until now
You: it costs $3,000,000 to perform the operation
Stranger: i know a guy that would do it got $50
You: What?! I got ripped off!
Stranger: he is called nick
You: Now i am very sad for losing 3 million dollars :(
Stranger: oh well
You: I am going to sue those people
Stranger: you should do that
Stranger: i know a lawyer you could use too
Stranger: he is called lyonell
You: ok thanks for the help
You: bye
You have disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments