Archive for July, 2010

Are the kangaroos upside down too?

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ıɥ
You: hi
You: ooooo
You: howd u do that
Stranger: ¿noʎ ǝɹɐ ʍoɥ
You: AHH!! :D
You: teach me!
Stranger: ¿ɯɯɥ
You: how do you type upsidedown?
Stranger: ¿ʇnoqɐ uıʞןɐʇ noʎ ǝɹɐ ʇɐɥʍ
You: lookit
You: ʇnoqɐ uıʞןɐʇ noʎ ǝɹɐ ʇɐɥʍ
Stranger: ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ uı ɯ,ı
You: OHHHH
You: gotcha
Stranger: puɐʇsɹǝpun ʇ,uop ןןıʇs ı
You: your typing is upside down silly
You: because you live in australia
Stranger: ¡ǝɯ ɹoɟ uʍop ǝpısdn ǝɹɐ spɹoʍ ɹnoʎ
You: WOAHH!!
You: TRIPPY!!
You: probably because i live in the US
Stranger: sǝɹǝɥdsıɯǝɥ
Stranger: ʇdǝɔuoɔ pɹıǝʍ
You: very weird

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Weapons

I wrote a dissociated press generator to generate random chats from existing Omegle chats, and the first line was randomly generated with that.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: sex with a weapon, i think the worst is already hunting down
Stranger: eh
Stranger: sez with a jar of fish hooks
Stranger: is worse
Stranger: :\
You: have you tried it?
Stranger: yea
Stranger: D:
You: trust me, if you accidentally pull the trigger, the weapon is worse
Stranger: na
Stranger: sooo many untanted piercings
Stranger: :<
You: oh dear
Stranger: *uwanted
Stranger: **unwanted
You: i can see how that would be annoying
You: well im gonna go now
You: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Mr.Borat has sexy time

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
Stranger: my name a borat
Stranger: i like sex
You: Hi Borat!
Stranger: isst nice
You: My hamsters name is Borat.
Stranger: you come to my house we have sexy time
Stranger: yes?
You: Oh, sorry Borat. I don’t have sex with hamsters.
Stranger: but isst niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!
Stranger: m or f?
You: Why would that matter? You’re a hamster.
Stranger: you come to my cage we have sexy time
Stranger: yes?
You: Cages make me go crazy. I couldn’t stand living in one. How do you do it, Fluffy Borat?
Stranger: I have sexy time
Stranger: isst nice
You: I’m afraid you’re mistaken.
Stranger: why
You: It’s no sexy time without a belly dancer!
Stranger: yay! sexy time!
You: Sexy time? Belly dancer?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: very nice
You: Hm, you make a good case Mr.Borat.
Stranger: tank you
Stranger: I must go, I’m going to find pamela

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Every time.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: as?
You: as what
Stranger: age, sex?
You: 17 and sure
Stranger: lolz, m/f?
You: still male
You: why do you always ask me this?
You: every time stranger
Stranger: lolz
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Zoophilia Isn’t Funny…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: horny male looking for horny girl
Stranger: ??
Stranger: heyy
You: Oh, you’re out of luck, I got a sex change last week. :9
Stranger: yes ı m not lucky
Stranger: you r right
Stranger: but maybe you can be lucky to me :)
You: Well, like I said, with the sex change and all… unless you’re looking to go gay we might have difficulties. Let’s talk about feelings!
Stranger: ı want to have sex right now
You: Do you have a dog?
Stranger: no
Stranger: why:)
You: Any pet at all?
Stranger: just fish
You: That might present difficulties, I was going to propose you have sex with them.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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I’m not fat, I’m pregnant

You: Dad?
You: I’m pregnant.
Stranger: thank god!
Stranger: i thought you were just getting fat
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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All Hail The Jedward

Stranger: JEDWARD ARE AMAZINGLY AWESOME.
You: I KNOW RITE!!??
Stranger: WOOOO
You: UM JUST ONE QUESTION
You: WHAT IS A JEDWARD?
You have disconnected.

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crazy ppl with rocks

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi strangerr
Stranger: ;D
You: havent seen u in awhile
Stranger: yeah i also
You: u no what ur my new best friend
You: yeah thts right
You: me and u besty buds ever
You: ur right up there with my pet rock
You: hello?
You: best friend?
Stranger: hello
You: oh ok i thought u left
You: u no ppl think im crazy
Stranger: no
You: they do
You: its all because i tlk to a rock but ill show them
Stranger: yeah a little bit
Stranger: what is the rock saying
You: WHAT?!?!?! ur my new best friend how could u say im crazy
You: that saddens me greatly :’(
You: the rock doesnt like u
Stranger: im sorry ;D

Stranger: pfff
You: it says ur mean
You: its saying how i dont need other friends
You: exept for the brick hes pretty cool
You: we burnt the book cuz it was being innapropriate and tlking bout rape
You: u h8 me dont u
You: IS IT CUZ MY ROCKS BETTER THEN URS????
Stranger: why you think so ?
You: i know so
Stranger: ouh^^
Stranger: you think that your rock is better then mine ß
You: he wants to tlk to u
You: gtyvfgrfgtrf
You: rock says hi
You: rfgrt5rfgt5hy
You: he says ur boring
Stranger: he must not speak to me
Stranger: ^^
You: y
You: is it cuz hes to awesome
Stranger: uhuh^^
You: i new it
Stranger: what ß
You: ooh hang on the funny ppl r telling me get bak in my pillow room
You: they say i should put on my jacket hahahahah what do they no
You: ahhhhh rock attack
Stranger: xD
You: im serious my buddy has a vicious rock its attacking the funny ppl
You: i kicked them off there comp they were entering in stuff bout mwe
You: me
Stranger: haha ^^
You: disconnect
You: do it
You: u no u dont want to tlk to crazy ppl
You: like me
You: and my rock
Stranger: i should disconnect ?
You: uhh one of the funny ppl is bleedin
You: uh oh
Stranger: you must help him ^^
You: her shes on fground hand bllod coming out her eye
Stranger: oh no ^^
You: im serious
Stranger: me too
You: uh rock is killing ppl gtg
You have disconnected.

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