Archive for August, 2010

Annoying Girly Reunion

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: YO.
Stranger: hey
You: Haha
Stranger: courtney?
You: Britney?! OH MY GAWD!!!!!111oneone!!!
Stranger: omggg!
You: I can’t believe it!!
Stranger: me either!!!!
You: Oh my, like, GAWD.
You: Wait. I thought you were dead?
Stranger: that was your mistake
Stranger: :O
You: Oh my gooodddd
You: But Josh like, totally told me you got pregnant
You: And when Jack found out he totally killed you!
Stranger: well, did you ever wonder what happened to Jack?
You: I heard he got attacked by a bear and the bear like, totally ate his dick
Stranger: well, no. he tried to stab me. and well, that knife ended up with him.
Stranger: court, keept this secret..
You: You go girl!!
Stranger: but i’m in the WPP and i live in a whole new state
You: Oh you know you can rely on me!! The whole gossip thing about Francine’s overdose was like totally not my fault
Stranger: i know, it was mine
You: Mhmm!! Bout time you admitted to it, biatch!
Stranger: yeah, sorry babe! haha god, i can’t believe i’m talking to you!
You: I know right!! It’s totally insane!!
You: Bitch, I missed you! Sorta…
Stranger: Yeah, but you should see this baby!
You: Your baby?
Stranger: yeah!
You: Oh my god so you didn’t get the abortion!? Gawd, I gotta stop listening to Josh…
Stranger: you really do. he’s a dumbass. and i hope you know he cheated on you..
You: Oh that’s okay I cheated on him with the whole football team
You: We have an ‘understanding’
Stranger: Haha thats my Courtney!
You: Hell yeah!!
Stranger: And I should say..
Stranger: My baby’s name is Veronica Courtney. After you, rgirll!!
You: Oh my god I think I’m gonna cry!
You: Happy tears, babe! :’)
Stranger: Hahaha good! I thought I’d never get to tell you that!
You: Actually, I have something to tell you, too
Stranger: Yeah?
You: Yeah. Um… You really are dead. You’ve been dead for over a year. After you killed Jake you got hit by a car.
You: I died two days ago, god damn it!
You: Drugs
You: You need to get it together girl!!
Stranger: Everyone’s dead, Court… Didn’t Josh ever tell you that? You: Wait wut
Stranger: Yeah..
You: I have SERIOUSLY got to do something about Josh!!
You: Gawd.
Stranger: You really do… And Jake is alive. He’s in hiding because he robbed a bank… With Josh.
You: Oh I totally knew about the bank thing. Josh told me something ’bout wanting to provide for the baby I said I had…
Stranger: Oh Gawd..
You: I knoww, complicated riiight.
Stranger: It really is. You totally need to see pics of the baby!
Stranger: And I have sad news too..
You: Oh no…
Stranger: I was supposed to have twins… A boy and a girl. His name was Mason Joshua. But he died, premature..
You: No wayy.. oh gawd, Brit, I’m so sorry
You: That, like, totally sucks
Stranger: Yeah, but he was so sick… I couldn’t kkeep him on the machines any longer.
You: Sad tears, babe D’:
Stranger: But I’m thankful for Veronica
You: Oh yeah totally
You: That girl’s gonna rock the world!!
You: Of course, ’cause she got a name like mine…
Stranger: She actually looks so much like her dad… And she will… With her mommy and Auntie Courtney!
Stranger: Rock the world that is… Haha
You: Oh totally, I can like, totally tell just by thinking about her
Stranger: haha it’ll be the bestt, Bitch!
You: Hell yeah Brit!
You: Oh but Brit, I got some bad news hun
Stranger: Oh gawd… What?
You: Satan like totally wants me to be his whore, and, I gotta admit, he’s like soooo sexyyy, so I’m not gonna turn him down so like, I gotta go…
You: I know, right.. bummerrr
You: But I’ll totally like, see you around.. sort of.. not really..!
Stranger: Yeah, well just google my new name. And my E-mail should be on one of the links!
You: Totally. Later babe!
Stranger: Byeee, Babe! Miss ya like Fuck!
You have disconnected.

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The Bird is the Word.

You: Hi.
You: Do you know?
Stranger: DO I KNOW WHAT…?
You: About the bird???
You: EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD!
Stranger: what bird?
You: B-b-b- bird, bird, bird. B-bird’s the word.
Stranger: yeah?
You: A-well-a bird, bird, bird. The bird is the word.
Stranger: i dont get it?
You: SURFIN’ BIRD
Stranger: im still confused
You: Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow
Stranger: are you high?
You: Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom
Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
You: Well don’t you know about the bird?
Stranger: no..i dont think so
You: Well, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD!
You: (It’s a song).
Stranger: oh okay
You: Yeah…
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BOO!

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Stranger: boo
You: AH!@!
You: JESUS, don’t scare me like that
Stranger: sorry… i didn’t mean too
You: i think you’re lying
You: …BOO!!
Stranger: EE GADS!
You: okay now we’re even
Stranger: haha I guesss soo
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Al gore and a woodpecker

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
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Stranger: hi :)
You: ill crap on your lawn
Stranger: o realy? gud shit i kuld use sum fertalizer
You: then ill plant a garden for you
Stranger: lol long as it all weed then ok
You: no im going to plant goats
Stranger: ………
Stranger: i never seen tht b4
Stranger: do it!
You: i heard if you plant goats, they turn into cars
Stranger: lol i never heard tht but did u kno if u plant sum1s balls in sum soil u geta baby?
You: thats just a myth
You: like al gore
Stranger: na uh how else would u get born?
Stranger: lol i dnt even kn who he is
You: he ran against bush in 2000
Stranger: o thts guy lol
Stranger: nope still dnt kno
You: damn i was 5 and i know who he is
Stranger: wtf u were 5?
You: yeah
Stranger: o w8 nvm tht was 10 years ago haha
You: now im going to have to kill you
Stranger: aw y :’(
You: you found out that i rape lawn mowers
Stranger: did i?
You: you did now
Stranger: aw fuc :( well make it quick
You: k ill buy a woodpecker. then ill tie you to a walrus and have the bird peck you to death
Stranger: lol dam u have sum extravagent killing shit
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Mermaid vs Chair

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
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Stranger: hi
You: I am a Mermaid
Stranger: i am a chair.
You: Suurree you are
Stranger: its true!
You: you’re not as cool as me
Stranger: your not as hard as me!
You: sure about that??
Stranger: yep,your a mermaid.
You: SOLID
Stranger: mermaids are flabby!
You: No, We have tails
Stranger: yeah, but i hav legs!
You: Yeah but i can Fish slap you
Stranger: i can chair slap you!
You: Yeah sure you can
Stranger: i can
You: Your only use is to be sat on
Stranger: and it feels good!
Stranger: do you know how many lap dances i get?!
You: I am not concerned with that
Stranger: obviously you are.
You: obviously im not
You: changing subject
You: i have many dolphin friends
Stranger: i have many sofa friends
You: cool
You: where were you bought from??
You: DFS??
Stranger: furniture fair.
You: awsome
Stranger: i know. it was a nice place
You: i bet it was
You: but not as nice as atlantis
Stranger: pshh, its better than atlantis!
You: Hardly
Stranger: |n
Stranger: its a cair
Stranger: chair*
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ohh yeah, baby.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hey
Stranger: ur a borang
You: a borang? wtf is that
Stranger: someones bitter..
You: i dont understand what you said…
Stranger: you dont need to
You: ur a borang doesnt even make sense.
Stranger: does to me
You: borang isnt even a word.
Stranger: yea it is
You: if it makes sense to only you then why would you say it?
Stranger: jesus did you have bitch flakes this morning?
You: idk did you have make up fucking word flakes?
Stranger: ya like corn flakes? where are you from? india?
You: if america is now called india then yeah. im from india.
You: where are you from? sensitiveville.
Stranger: maybe
You: someones a little bit insecure.
Stranger: HA
Stranger: ur funny
You: yeah and youre a crybaby.
You: you take things way to seriously.
Stranger: yep im crying in my swirly chair!
You: grow. up.
You: oohhh yeah i bet.
You: more like highchair.
Stranger: yea and i cant get out!
You: awww why dont you cry for mommy to come get you another bottle.
Stranger: der i am
You: i bet.
Stranger: you won that bet.
You: i know.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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like totes gtfo

You: HI THERE
Stranger: ROFL LAMO LOL
Stranger: HI
You: OH EM GEE
Stranger: oh muh gwad
You: i know right!!
You: i was like yeah but no but yeh but!
Stranger: i like totes no
Stranger: i no!
Stranger: i was like totes, and she was like gtfo
Stranger: and then i was like omg he is soooooo presh
You: no. way
Stranger: but she was like wtf
You: i saw her at the mall and she didnt even say hi
You: like um bitch much??
Stranger: wow.
Stranger: totes. for serial
You: i was lookin well lush eh
Stranger: how shadtastic
Stranger: you were lookin fine girl
You: she has slept with like everyone hey
You: im totally telling brad
Stranger: omg! you are such a little home wrecker!
Stranger: but brad totally deserves to know.

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Battle of Wits

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hey
Stranger: m/f
You: /
Stranger: wats that
You: you gave me 3 choices and i chose the middle one
Stranger: oh
Stranger: ok
Stranger: mf
Stranger: now which 1
You: ohhhhh your smart
Stranger: ya ino
You: unfortunatley im smarter
Stranger: try me
You: watch this
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