Archive for September, 2010

PIE

You: hey
Stranger: Hi, I’m Carl UK
You: hey im conor Ireland
You: awkward
Stranger: lol
Stranger: you’re not looking for guy then
You: eh its not that
You: its im IRISH and your BRITISH
Stranger: only by accidnet of birth
You: hey do you like
You: pie
Stranger: sweet or savoury?
You: PIE FLAVOURED
Stranger: pie isn’t a flavour
You: hell yeah it is
Stranger: pie is a pastry case enclosing either a meat or fruit base filling
You: you know were running out of booze and this party is CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: i got plenty off booze and some weed too if you want
You: i think
You: i think. .. . . . .
Stranger: it’s good to think
You: we need to get more party for the booze
Stranger: lol
You: ill go get some
Stranger: see ya
You: bitch you aint my babysitter
Stranger: baby I aint you bitch sitter
You: hey while im out you want me to pick you up some ice
Stranger: it’s your party
You: what
You: you my friend
You: just blew
You: my mind and a little bit of my pants
Stranger: cool, glad to be of service

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Those darn ninjas…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Oh, the pain!
Stranger: call 911 fast!
Stranger: ;]
You: Well, unless they can help me…
You: Before it’s too late.
Stranger: help u with what?
You: These ninjas!
Stranger: ah not ninjas!
You: They’re terribly fast, and no one can catch them!
You: Because of course, they’re invisible and all -__-
Stranger: yeah and ninja nerd know these things
Stranger: any*
You: Yep.
You: Don’t tell the Spartans, but I still think that we can beat ‘em.
Stranger: have u tried using an invisable gun?
You: Yeah, trying to do one of those “fatalities”.
You: It worked on a few, but those other ones were just so fast…
Stranger: yeah wow u might have to call in the ninja exterminators but they can be pricey
You: Very pricey.
Stranger: at least 500 dollar monopoly money
You: I’m down to my last dollar!
You: And you know, they don’t accept Rupees or anything…
Stranger: yikes
Stranger: try throwing paint
You: Paint?
Stranger: it may stick to them revealing them
You: Ah, I see.
You: Microsoft-brand Paint is the best.
You: I’m gonna throw my Microsoft Paint at them, and reveal the ninjas!
Stranger: yes of course.. dont forgot the protective sheeting for the floor
You: But of course.
You: Don’t want to get the paint anywhere else!
Stranger: exactly
You: Well, good bye my old friend.
You: I have to ward off some ninjas!
You: Say hi to the Pirates for me!
Stranger: good luck to you
You: You too.
Stranger: oh i will
You: ^__^”
You have disconnected.

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How High on Omegle?

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello there!
You: i go to harvard
Stranger: Do they not use capitalization at Harvard?
You: well i cheated my way in so im rele stupid actually
Stranger: Oh, I see.
You: i just smoke weed here screw all the hot chicks and do all kinds of other sinanagons
You: but the thng is…
You: the weed brings a ghost of my dead friend
You: thats how i got into harvard
You: he told me all the answers to every test!!
Stranger: Wait wait wait!
Stranger: Since when has weed made people hallucinate?
You: now me and my home boy are livin it up here
Stranger: You don’t go to Harvard.
Stranger: You don’t smoke weed.
Stranger: You don’t screw anyone.
Stranger: You are not a cool kid.
You: my friend just screwed the dean’s daughter
You: he hates us
You: he tries to get us kicked out
You: but he cant cuz hes a loser
You: actualy once he almost did
You: then he ate our special brownies and got so BAKED
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Funny Ad Lib

Stranger: Potato
You: Cannon
Stranger: Is
You: Inside
Stranger: My
You: Anus
Stranger: And
You: You
Stranger: Love
You: The
Stranger: Feeling
You: That
Stranger: It
You: Will
Stranger: That was funny
Stranger: Explode
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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A Conformist says to You…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: YOU CONFORMIST
You: YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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I Killed Her

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: I killed her.
Stranger: i knew it
You: You told me too
Stranger: yeah just for shts and giggles i didnt think you actually would
You: Well, I did, and you’ll never find me
Stranger: oh well what a shame
Stranger: i hated her anyway
You: You hated your own wife?
Stranger: yeah we were only husband and wife on paper not in feelings
You: DAY-UM! And they SAY I’m a cold hearted killer.
Stranger: its so much less messy when there are no feelings involved
You: What are you going to do with the kid?
Stranger: sell it
Stranger: give it away
Stranger: dump it
Stranger: whatever i fancy at the time
You: Wow, really, I mean, if you told me eariler that you were just going to get rid of it I would have taken it off your hangs
You: *hands
Stranger: do you have a spare minute or two right now?
You: Well, the misses and I are packing to escape the cops
Stranger: well when youve escaped them if you have a mo do you mind popping the kid too?
You: Um… Can I just, keep the kid?
Stranger: urgh why would you want to keep that runt?
Stranger: but if its what you want then sure why not
You: Well, you know, every since the accident the misses and I can’t have kids, and adoption is such a tricky bussiness
Stranger: well i guess it would be a bit nicer for it to live with you and your lovely wife
Stranger: although….i may want a small fee, you know for the years i put into rearing that thing
You: Oh oh oh, you’re charging the man who just killed your wife?
Stranger: yeah pretty much. its how i roll
You: Fine, how much?
Stranger: well i did spend time and money wooing that woman to get her into bed to make him, doctors bills during pregancy, baby shit, toddler clothes, food, electricity bills to keep it warm…im thinking at least 1.5mil
You: What! It only coast you 500 Grand for my to kill her.
You: Okay okay, how about 250 Gs, and the tickets to Spamalot that I can’t use anymore because I’m running from the law because… oh, what was the reason again? Oh yeah, I killed your wife!
Stranger: throw in your marks and spencers gift vouchers as well and youve got yourself a deal
You: Well, I’m just going to kill you too after I give you all the stuff and then take it all back, so deal
Stranger: fair enough
Stranger: is this the best response youve had so far?
You: Yeah, because your the I’ve done this too.
You: Btw, way to brake character
Stranger: haha i know right but i couldnt think what else to say
You: It’s cool, I was running dry myself, but we will be famous one day! ONE DAY!
You have disconnected.

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harry potthead

Stranger: hello
You: ello
Stranger: are you a centuar named Maureece?
You: i am a ninja named thomas
Stranger: well hello there thomas
You: from the kk klan of eastern nasaki
Stranger: i am a pirate mermaid named Coral
Stranger: O.O Your racist? thats HORRIBLE
You: i am actually a mailman in michigan
You: in 36
You: i havee no wife and no kids
Stranger: oh thats so sad for you
You: all that is a complete lie
You: im 15 in california
You: male
Stranger: O.o make up your mind
Stranger: and i was lying too. I am a 15 year old witch
You: ?
Stranger: I’m currently at Hogwarts, which to stop confusion is actually in Scotland not England
Stranger: and oh yeaaaahhh i hate mailmen
You: facebook me
You: *name removed because i dont like strangers*
You: the picture is a giraffe i drew
Stranger: i do not know of this facebook of which you speak…
You: i see
Stranger: I have a wizbook account… is facebook like the muggle equivelant?
Stranger: and OHHH GIRAFFEEEE
Stranger: I LOVE ANIMALS
You: i like
You: too
Stranger: your not some death eater trying to catch me being a blood traitor and talking to muggles are you? *stares at suspiciously*
You: no
Stranger: Ok :) just making sure… my parents would kill me
You: im a 14 year old kid
Stranger: oh dear you’re not a muggle are you? *is now a little worried*
You: no
You: im a giraffe
Stranger: O.o you’re a giraffe who knows how to use a computer?
You: yesssh
Stranger: Wow that must be hard considering you don’t have fingers on your hooves
Stranger: My Mum always told me animals were smart though, so im not surprised you figured out the complex art of using a computer…
Stranger: Are you suuuurrree you’re not a muggle?
Stranger: you are not answering, silence is a sign of lying. You ARE a muggle ARENT you?
You: im here
You: ‘i was using the restroom
You: *peeing*
Stranger: O.O too much info
You: sorry
Stranger: hmm… was i supposed to be somewhere right now? *ponders* nope no class right now and dinner’s still a couple hours off
Stranger: so what’s up?
You: i hav baseball practice at 3:00 pm pacific standard time
Stranger: interesting… wait… whats baseball? Is that like Quidditch?
You: no…………………………………….

>…………………………………………………….
Stranger: O.o you do realize that that was alot of nothing that took up tons of the computer screen right?
You: Stranger is typing…
You: yesssh
You: Stranger is typing…
Stranger: why do you keep typing that the stranger is typing
Stranger: thats annoying… Are you SURE your not a muggle? Only muggles are that annoying…
You: hi
Stranger: hello
Stranger: didnt we already say hello awhile back there?
You: yes but
You: i like to say it periodicly
You: hold please im bidding on a jasper xbox\
Stranger: >.>
Stranger: right….
Stranger: ta ta for now

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Interrogation.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: yp
Stranger: yo*
You: Welcome.
You: Take a seat.
Stranger: I shall
You: Now, why don’t we begin with the basics. Where were you on the 26th of July at 7pm?
Stranger: I was at home, playing chess
Stranger: with my…. dog
You: And who can confirm that… human preferably.
Stranger: My mother
Stranger: out of Kiss the band
You: And I suppose you expect me to believe that, do you?
Stranger: nope. I was lying. I was playing chess with my sisters dog
Stranger: Chicken Pie
You: Mr. Jones, we have reason to beleive you were involved in the murder of Stacey Holmes.
You: Have you ever met her?
Stranger: IM SORYY, BUT SHE WAS HOLDING MY ASS
Stranger: :(
You: THAT’S NO DAMN EXCUSE!!!

Stranger: Zombieeee Vampire
Stranger: She’s a monster
You: An innocent girl is dead all because of your sick beliefs.
Stranger: D: Just cause God isn’t real…
You: Don’t play that card with me, boy. I know your type.
Stranger: lmao. Wtf is this?
You: What the f is this?! What the f*k is this!!! How dare you. I can shove you in jail without a blink. So you watch your damn mouth.
You: Now answer the question! Did you or did you not murder Stacey Holmes!
Stranger: I amrried Boblina after I murdered her okay? IM SORRY
Stranger: married*
You: Boblina? Married? Illegally?
Stranger: :(
Stranger: im gonna go now >.<
You: You are guilty!!! Do you think I’m going to let you screw this up?
You: No!
Stranger: byeee ily, i will get you
You: Not if I get you first.
Stranger: disconecting………………………. now

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