Archive for November, 2010

Unexpected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Amy?
You: Hello, nope.
You: To whom am I speaking to?
Stranger: Tom. I need to speak to Amy.
You: Oh, Amy is unavailable at the moment.
You: Please leave a message after the tone
You: Beep
Stranger: I know about the murders, Amy.
You: What? Who told you?!
Stranger: It doesn’t matter.
You: Well, now that you know, I have to get rid of you too!
Stranger: You wouldn’t dare. You don’t know where the proof is.
You: It doesn’t matter. I can’t risk you turning me in.
Stranger: Fine. Go ahead. Kill me. I’m not the only one that knows about the murders.
You: Damn. Who else is in this with you?
Stranger: I guess you’ll just never find out.
You: Maybe I should just run. Change my name. Grow a beard.
You: Yes, I think so.
Stranger: They’ll eventually get you. You’ll rot in jail.
You: But I’m just an innocent girl; they’ll never suspect me.
Stranger: The others will tell the police. There will be an international manhunt.
You: How much are they paying you? I’ll triple it if you keep quiet.
Stranger: They’re not paying me.
You: You are doing this just to get back at me for stealing your lollipop?!
Stranger: This has nothing to do with the lollipop.
You: Oh I think you are still holding a grudge.
You: Just face it: Mom liked me better.
Stranger: It’s not true! No!
Stranger: She liked both of us!
You: Or so she said….
Stranger: Shut up! You’re just.. You’re just lying!
You: No, it’s the truth. Face the facts, Tom. Mom loved me more than you.
You: It’s time to grow up and move on.
Stranger: Fine! But I still had dad by my side.
You: Oh no, he secretly hated you as well.
You: He liked your friend, Jim, better
You: They built the treehouse together.
Stranger: Lies! All you do is lie!
You: At least I know what’s real. You just live in your own world pretending everything is fine.
Stranger: That’s it. I can’t take it anymore. Please… End my misery. I beg you.
You: No, that’s for cowards.
Stranger: Kill me! Please!
You: No, because that’s what you want. I would have if you didn’t ask.
Stranger: Fine. Then I’ll kill myself. I have no choice. The others will take care of you.
You: They won’t know where to find me.
You: I can hide like Osama Bin Laden
Stranger: Really? I guess you don’t know about the device.
You: What device?
Stranger: A few years ago you swallowed, without you knowing, a small GPS transreciever.
You: Oh really? Well done.
You: Hmm, how can I get out of that one?
Stranger: You lost, Amy. That’s it. Turn yourself in,
You: No! Never!
You: I’ll just have to take drastic measures!
Stranger: What are you going to do, huh? You have nothing.
You: Oh I can’t tell you. It’ll take all the fun out of it.
You: But you’ll see. Once I rule the world!!!
Stranger: Yeah, right. You can’t even rule your two daughters.
You: Oh you think they are my kids!? Ha, you fool! Those are my best henchmen!
Stranger: And you can’t even rule them.
You: That’s what you think. They hang on my every word.
You: And what do you’re little pals do? Play dress up and have tea?
Stranger: No. They help me.
Stranger: They’re part of the others.
You: With tea?
You: And teddy bears
You: Yeah, that’s what I thought. You have no comeback
Stranger: Fine. You’ll see. You’ll rot in jail.
You: Yeah, you said that before.
You: Is that the best you have?
Stranger: Yes. But it’s good enough.
You: Hahaa!
Stranger: So, You’re only wasting time. The others are now tracking your location and they’re about to call the police.
You: Or so you think… I have already destroyed the tracking device and I am halfway around the globe.
Stranger: Really? We have branches all over the globe.
You: Yes, but your communication is weak.
You: And I am very sneaky. I know how to get my way.
Stranger: shifting legs or cleavage isn’t the way to be sneaky.
You: That’s not my only tactic.
Stranger: Sure.
You: However, it’s you that is wasting time.
You: (Oh hey, this chat was amazing. I have to go though.)
Stranger: (Fine. Bye!)
You: (Thanks)
You: (Can I put this on omeglechats?)
Stranger: (sure)

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Let them eat cake.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: I want a girl with the smooth liquidation!
Stranger: I want a girl with a mind like a diamond!
Stranger: I want a girl who knows what’s best!
Stranger: I want a girl with eyes who burn like cigarettes
You: i want a girl in a short skirt and looooooooong jacket
Stranger: omg
Stranger: :D
Stranger: SOMEONE FINALLY KNOWS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.
Stranger:

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may the fonze be with you

Stranger: Have you ever masturbated with someone of the same sex?
You: do u wish to join the church of the fonze my child?
You: nope
You: that would be a sin
You: =D
Stranger: According to who?
Stranger: The Fonz?
You: lol the almighty tv star the fonzee
Stranger: Or his Creator, Henry Winkler?
You: lol both
You: the fonzee is like jesus
You: and henry is god
You: =D
You: lol
Stranger: I bet when he masturbates, he just taps his penis, and semen just starts pouring out immediately.
Stranger: Like some kind of sexual jukebox.
Stranger: Or something.
You: lol thats where the rain comes from
You: lol
Stranger: That makes sense.
You: hahahahahaha
You: you sir are remarkable
Stranger: Those Days must be very Happy.
You: lol yessss
Stranger: I will never be forlorn with rain again.
Stranger: I shall look into the sky.
Stranger: And smile as His seed drops down upon me.
You: lol stink out your toungeee
You: stick*
You: lol
Stranger: What about acid rain though?
Stranger: WTF is up with that?
You: his diaria
Stranger: Hmmmm.
You: he eats spicy boretoss
Stranger: Actually, I’m more inclined to believe that its a urine/semen mixture.
You: hmmm could very well be
Stranger: Urine’s acidic, right?
You: yep
Stranger: Well, there you go.
Stranger: Granted, urine and semen rarely mix.
You: lol u sir are quite witty
Stranger: But the Fonz can do as He pleases.
You: lol
Stranger: He just taps it and the urethra opens wide in all directions.
You: llolllll!!!
Stranger: His diarea bust be…
Stranger: idk.
Stranger: Volcano ash?
Stranger: Hail?
You: lol possibly
You: lol
Stranger: Meteors.
Stranger: Must be meteors.
You: yes thats it meteors!!!!!!!!
Stranger: I mean, I’ve never seen him take a sh-t, right?
Stranger: So it must not happen often.
You: lol yes
You: lol he doesnt eat enough fiber
Stranger: Fock no, he ain’t old.
You: lolll
Stranger: He’s eternally young.
Stranger: No matter how many times you watch Happy Days, he NEVER ages.
Stranger: How the f*ck else do you explain that?
You: lol this has been awsome
You: lol
You: i have no ideaa
Stranger: You gotta think of these things.
Stranger: Everything’s a sign.
You: lol u expanded my mindddd
Stranger: Glad to help.
You: you sir are the most interesting person ive talked to on here
Stranger: Go say 20 HEEEEEY Mary’s and 10 Our Fonzs.
Stranger: I must depart.
You: lol!! u are awsome this is going on omgle chats.com
Stranger: May the Fonz be with you.
You: as to u sir
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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No mexicans?

You: HELLO
Stranger: HI
You: I YELL EVERYTHING I TYPE
You: SO THATS WHY IM WRITING IN CAPITALS
You: ITS KINDA SEXY
Stranger: HAHA I AGREE
You: ARE YOU MEXICAN?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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The Theif With A Scarf-Wearing Panda

You: HELLO!
Stranger: Hi there!
You: CHICKEN!
Stranger: Narwhal?
You: in the corner?
Stranger: Around the edges.
You: hmmm thos damn corner narwhals.
Stranger: Indeed.
You: if you don’t mind me asking, how many pickles?
Stranger: 18.
You: i see
You: it was my knowledge there where 20…
Stranger: I’ve lost a couple.
Stranger: Sorry.
You: i refuse. there must be a theif!
Stranger: Oh right. I lost them to a theif.
Stranger: thief, too.
You: right
You: this thief is spelled theif though
Stranger: Because he’s Muslin?
Stranger: Muslim* even.
You: we must find this theif and the pickles
You: this Muslim theif
Stranger: Well, there are some leads.
Stranger: We know, for example, that he enjoyed Majora’s Mask.
You: really? good job jeevs.
Stranger: Over here sir.
You: we shall begin the quest!
You: what? oh sorry i’m quite blind
Stranger: It’s quite alright.
Stranger: OVER HERE SIR!
You: FOUND YOU!
Stranger: No sir! I mean a clue this time.
You: ahhhh so the theif left his panda under the table…
Stranger: And look at this scarf on it.
Stranger: It says…
Stranger: “GOD DAMN PANDERING BUSHES”
Stranger: I wonder what it means, sir?
You: God damn indeed.
You: well its a good thing the panda can talk
Stranger: That is especially convenient, given the panda’s general inability to speak as a species.
You: elmentary.
Stranger: Exactly my dear.
Stranger: I mean, sir!
You: it says the Muslim is in the bookcase!
You: its okay honey!
Stranger: Which book case?
You: i mean jeevs!
You: the one with the yogurt on it!
Stranger: But that tunnel is much to perilous.
Stranger: Sometimes there’s oral sex. Overall, much too much peril!
You: we have to take the chance
You: the panda goes first
Stranger: He’s eating the yogurt.
Stranger: Fuck.
You: damn panda.
Stranger: Now which one is the one with the yogurt on it?
You: the one with the perilous oral sex
You: well
Stranger: Oh right!
Stranger: Well, should I take one for the team?
You: it’s okay, they got the panda
You: ONWARD!
Stranger: Ah. Damn.
Stranger: Yes coming!
You: its okay the panda was a traitor
Stranger: Perhaps we should wait for the panda, to, err, come also?
You: eating yogurt that wasn’t his
You: fine… but only because of his scarf
Stranger: It’s in good aesthetic taste!
Stranger: Looks like he’s finished now.
You: i found the Muslim theif!
Stranger: Oh my!
You: or thief either way
Stranger: Wait a minute, that’s no Muslim Theif.
You: what is it?
Stranger: That’s a rock-outcropping conveniently shaped like a Muslim Theif.
Stranger: Or perhaps it’s a mask!
Stranger: I’m much too afraid to take it off.
You: GASP!
You: i will.
Stranger: I’ll stand over here.
You: it isn’t the theif, ITS THE PICKLES!
Stranger: But look inside the pickles!!!
Stranger: The theif!
You: OH MY!
You: its okay the panda ate him.
Stranger: Understandable. He was pickled.
Stranger: Probably delectable.
You: mmmm i’m hungry now
You: good work Jeevs
Stranger: That’s what the panda is for, is it not?
You: of course
You: what else would eat Muslim theifs?
Stranger: His traitorous ways must not be left unpunished…
You: :O
Stranger: Broiled or baked, sir?
You: baked. i’m on a diet
Stranger: Ahh, I’ll trim the fat then.
Stranger: All done. Thank heavens for this new instant-bake oven.
You: indeed.
You: we should go our seperate ways
You: till next time, Jeevs!
Stranger: After all, we are both male.

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Yes, My Lord

Stranger: Stop throwing rocks at my window. Its creepy.
You: Mmm why??
You: Tis fun my lord!
You: Your window makes funny tic tic noises!
Stranger: Stop saying my lord.
You: Yes sir
Stranger: This isn’t dungeons and dragons.
You: No sir it is not sir
Stranger: Stop calling me a guy.
You: Yes ma’m
Stranger: Its creepy.
You: Sorry ma’m, I peed all over you
Stranger: Look, do you want to come up?
You: Just..Came out
You: Yes please
You: I have forgotten how to mop up pee
Stranger: Climb up the side into my window.
Stranger: Dont let my dad see you.
You: Will do. Okay I’m here!!
You: You have oompa loompa’s working for you?
You: I didn’t know that! Oh no that one over there is fucking the faerie princess!
You: Stop that bastard!
Stranger: You are so weird.
You: Thank you ma’m
Stranger: Do you want to like, makeout, or not?
You: Mmm I have you mop up my piss first
You: You like boobs?
Stranger: HA!
You: Or the stick thingys
Stranger: I like my boobs.
You: PENISES!
You: Yes that’s the word
You: Forgot that for a moment. My apologies ma’m.
You: Please don’t whip me again!
You: D; I think I hear the frog calling me again. Bye bye now!! Love you lots!!
You: ♥

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Beat me to it

Stranger: 18 M los angeles
You: asl
You: F-CK
You have disconnected.

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Bandage vs. Bondage

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi horny f looking for dominant male who’s interested in bondage
You: I quite enjoy bandages. Although, that’s not even remotely the same at all.
You: Band-aids FTW!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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