Archive for December, 2010

Slurp My Gravy

You: hey
Stranger: suple
Stranger: moist
You: sounds yummy
Stranger: ASL NOW
You: 17 f canada
Stranger: thankyou
You: yupp
Stranger: 21 m aus
You: cool
Stranger: whats good in canada at the moment
You: nothing really
Stranger: gravy?
You: i dont like gravy
Stranger: why?
You: i dunno, just dont
Stranger: i Looove gravy!
You: then you can have some gravy
Stranger: *slurp slurp slurp* deliceous
You: i like the way you slurp
Stranger: normally I have more table manners but I really like gravy
You: thats okay, ill forgive you
Stranger: great – what do you like to eat?
You: potatos
Stranger: boiled, mashed, fried, baked or other ?????
You: preferably mashed. but theyre alll good
Stranger: but gravy goes so well with mashed potato
You: yeah i know, but i dont like it. you can have the gravy, and ill have the potatos!
Stranger: needs cheese
You: i dont like cheese either
Stranger: Seriously?
You: yeah
You have disconnected.

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Cyber Whore

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: i am god.
Stranger: Heyyyy I’m a bi 18 female from Cali Cali! Really horny right now (; looking to talk and possibly trade pics’
You: NO
You: GOD DISPPROVES
Stranger: Bitch
You: FEMALE DOG
Stranger: Nigger
You: LET ME SUCK ON YOUR CYBER TITS
You: LOL
You: I’M GOD I’M WHITE MUFUCKKA
Stranger: Lol ok
You: GOODBYE WHORE
You: I LOVE YOU
You have disconnected.
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HILARIOUS AWKWARD CONVO

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hey

Stranger: hello

You: asl

Stranger: wassup

Stranger: 19 f

You: 14 f

Stranger: okie

Stranger: rather young

Stranger: gimme a hugie

Stranger: huggie

You: Hug

You: I hugged you

Stranger: i git it

Stranger: got

You: I was bored so I went on here

Stranger: hmm

You: yeah I can’t sleep

Stranger: so wat r u wearing

You: pajama

You: z

Stranger: and?

You: wat

Stranger: on the top?

You: pajamas on the top

Stranger: oh ho

Stranger: awrite

Stranger: may i come beneath ur blanet?

Stranger: :)

You: i aint no ho and mabiey

You: it depends

Stranger: wat does it depend on

You: Stuff

You: If your really a guy then no

Stranger: nooo

Stranger: i am nt a guy

You: if your prved then no

Stranger: neither

You: if your mean then no

You: if you dont take showers regularly then no

Stranger: i do

You: and if it is cold then yes

Stranger: i just took

Stranger: itz really really biting cold

You: then yes

Stranger: :)

You: see im just careful about who I let under my
covers

Stranger: tats sensible

You: ya guys arent allowed cause svery one I know
is a jerk

Stranger: hahaha

Stranger: :)

You: At least the ones that go to ma school

Stranger: do u want me to wear anything while i am
wid u?

You: ya

Stranger: wat least

You: wat you mean

Stranger: i don like wearing cmuch when i m under
covers

You: I get cold easily so I want to wear alot

Stranger: i’ll make u warm in my arms :)

Stranger: ??

You: No I got cotton jammers

Stranger: okie

Stranger: come close to me

You: ok im close

Stranger: feel mah breath

You: ya

Stranger: lemme hold ur waist , little doll :)

Stranger: ooohh so chweet waist

Stranger: tiny

You: ya I work out

Stranger: lets get on wid something :)

You: like

Stranger: some really wild action

You: Like texting?

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: but b4 that something just here :)

Stranger: i aint a jerk at all..if u trust me..

Stranger: i’ll make u feel like a princess

You: Through texts

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: not via cellular phones

Stranger: just here

Stranger: ??

You: where

Stranger: here

You: I forgot

Stranger: on omegle

You: Wats omegle

You: ohhhhhhhh yeeeeeaaaahhh

You: i remember

Stranger: come beneath the blanket dear

You: Wat if it haz bedbugs

Stranger: i’ll take care of them , doll

You: You better call the exterminatr first and get his
butt out here to fix the bedbugz

Stranger: awrite they r fixed nw

Stranger: now may we hit the bed?

You: Ok is it a sleep number

Stranger: no

Stranger: it’s a sensual number

You: I can never get comfortable in those

Stranger: ok no number

Stranger: nw i m undoing ur pyjama drawstring

Stranger: i ve taken them off

Stranger: do u hv anything under that

You: Ya another pair of jammers!

Stranger: i’ll fix a bamboo in ur mom’s ass

You: why

Stranger: coz she doesnt hv jammers on

You: ya she does. shes wearen dads

Stranger: still i’ll screw her

Stranger: wid my hard 9inch penis in her mouth
first

Stranger: n then in her ass

Stranger: slam bang bang

You: I didn’t know u got surgery! good for u

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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1 Comment

The Cave

Stranger: hey
You: hi ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶
Stranger: name?
You: nate
You: name?
Stranger: amy
Stranger: hot?
You: i suppose. would rather not directly answer a question like that
You: but i think i am of course lol
You: and urself?
Stranger: got a link to a picture of you or anything?
You: i do
Stranger: umm, i dont know you can judge for yourself :)
(sends link)
Stranger: whats the link to yours?
You: (sends link)
You: alright i’ll look haha
Stranger: your hot ;)
You: thanks. ur not too shabby urself
Stranger: ahaa thankss;)
age?
You: 19.
You: urs?
Stranger: 17 :)
You: oh wow. ur a young one haha
Stranger: ahaa;)
You: So what brings u here miss amy? =P
Stranger: bordem, you?
You: of course, the same thing. half the time im just here to mess with ppl tho haha
Stranger: ahaa;)
You: So where u 4rm? btw u remind me of someone i used to know lol
Stranger: england,
really? whos that?:)
You: oh no one special. just a girl i knew. haha. im from Florida btw
Stranger: niceee :)
You: So how many chats have you had here before?
Stranger: loads, you?
You: I just started a few days ago. i’ve been having the time of my life lmao ppl are very silly on this thing
Stranger: lol how so?
You: Well just how they treat other people online. Most of them dont act that way irl.
You: For one thing i dont like when ppl start conversations with “asl”
Stranger: samee:/
You: so when they ask me that i always say something stupid and they curse me out and leave xD
Stranger: ;)
so you straight or gay?:)
You: definitely straight. im scared that you had to ask. lol was it something I said?
Stranger: noo, i was just asking :’)
You: how about urself?
Stranger: straight, although i’ve had a few drunken mistakes with some girls :’)
You: lmao same here. but with girls ;D
Stranger: ahaa;)
Stranger: how many people have you done?
You: done as in sex?
Stranger: yeahh
You: hmm ive messed around alot but only really did 2 haha
You: what about you?
Stranger: really?:|
i dont wanna say noww:P
You: uh oh lmao
Stranger: ahaa:’)
You: over 5?
Stranger: yes
You: =O
You: over 10?
Stranger: loool
Stranger: yes
You: over 13?
Stranger: yes
You: r u being serious?
Stranger: yeahh
You: over 13 different guys?
Stranger: yeahh
it was 13 guys and about 3 girls i thinkk :/
You: i see. can i ask a couple of questions then?
Stranger: yes..
You: Do the bears bring their fish inside?
Stranger: Yes?
You: hmm ok that would explain the smell.
Stranger: ???
You: Next question, can it accommodate a whole family of bears?
Stranger: Um sure?????
You: I wouldnt be surprised with all that vacancy…
Stranger: Is this getting somewhere?
You: Listen, dont rush me ok?
Stranger: ?
You: OK??!!
Stranger: um ok?
You: Last question, after the bears wake up from hibernation do they roar loudily?
Stranger: What fucking bears!!!! omfg
You: The bears that sleep in your cave of a vagina.
Stranger:…
Stranger: Fuck you you fuckinb whore pice of shiit!
You: Hmmm that seems more befitting to your lifestyle rather than mine dont you think? ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
Stranger: You know what youre nothinf but a piece of motherfucking cock sucking retard with nothing better to do with his life than sit around and make people feel bad about themselves! >=P
Stranger: I hope you die in the ass!
You: Hahahahahahaha nice.
You: Wanna have sex?
Stranger: Fuck off bjtch…
You: ok but im not exactly hearing a no….. (-̮̮̃-̃)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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6 Comments

whairs larry?

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: why yes i am after some lobster
You: his name is larry have u seen him?
Stranger: m/f
You: he was on spongebob at one point
You: i think he still is
You: larry is a male
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Lemon Bieber

Stranger: i hope you justin bieber?
You: yeah
You: so whats up babygirl
Stranger: you serious
You: yeah ;)
Stranger: you lied
You: yes
You: i lied
You: justin bieber doesnt use omegle
You: he uses lemonparty.org
You: duh

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Songwriting

Stranger: Hey
You: Help me write a song.
You: It has to involve anal violation with garden tools.

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LINDSAY LOHAN????

You: hey!
Stranger: HERRO! I’M LINDSAY LOHAAAAN
You: HI LINDSAY!
Stranger: HAAAAAY
You: i didn’t know you were outta rehab!
You: how ya feeling?
Stranger: I’M OUT AND BEAUTIFUL
Stranger: JUST A LITTLE DRUNK
You: i’m a little drunk too
Stranger: AREN’T WE ALLLL
You: but that’s fine, it only makes you more beautful (:
Stranger: OH THANKS BABE
Stranger: (;
You: i love you lindsay.
You: i’d do anything for you!
Stranger: FUCK ME?
You: if you want me to!
Stranger: SWEET
Stranger: DO YOU HAVE ANY EXTRA WEED AND SEX TOYS?
You: i have weed, just not extra sex toys
Stranger: AWESOMJE
Stranger: AWESOME*
Stranger: WE CAN SMOKE , AND FUCK
You: cool!
Stranger: AT THE SAME DAMN TIME !
You: YUSSSS!
Stranger: YO, I LIVE AT 546 BEECH ROAD IN LA
Stranger: HIT ME UP
You: awesome
You: pay for my tickets to usa?
Stranger: YOU’RE NOT IN THE USA?
You: not at the moment. was trying the new ‘peach flavored’ weed in amsterdam
You: can’t get back though :S
Stranger: WHYY?!?!?
You: weed is life?
Stranger: NO
Stranger: YOU’RE OUT OF CONTROL
You: oh true you’ve been to rehab, your views have changed…
Stranger: 310-469-0269
Stranger: CALL ME BABEH (;
Stranger: RIGHT NOW!
You: yeah i’m not actually american.
Stranger: JUST CALL ME
You: it’ll come up with some fucked up number
You: or some indian sucking dick on the other end.
Stranger: NO
Stranger: IT’S MY CEL
Stranger: CELL*
You: collect call.
You: it’ll cost.
Stranger: d:
Stranger: D:*
Stranger: NOOO
Stranger: JUST CALL ME!
Stranger: PLEEASE
You: why…?
Stranger: I WANNA FLIRT AND TALK DIRTY
Stranger: PLEEEASE

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