Archive for March, 2011

the sneaky priest

Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: whats your job?
You: im a priest :)
Stranger: really
You: yeah what about you :)
Stranger: doctor
You: oh you must be on a high income
Stranger: not yet
Stranger: takes some time
Stranger: are you on a high income?
You: we have similar jobs because we both help people, but i dont necessarily see it as a job :)
You: so what hospital do you work at
Stranger: I havent found a workplace yet
Stranger: but Im moving to america at the end of the year
Stranger: i want to work there
Stranger: but I have to take medical license examinations first to be able to work in us, and theyre kinda hard so I have to prepare a lot
You: ok sounds really good, im sure god will direct you to success and happyness
You: do you belive in god ?
Stranger: not really
Stranger: what church are you in
You: he appears in many forms
You: catholic church
You: god made you become a doctor to help him save others
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 46 years
You: how about you?
Stranger: im 15
Stranger: just finished medschool
Stranger: i mean 25
Stranger: so anyways, what country are you at?
Stranger: is it a religious country like poland or something?
You: ireland
Stranger: hmm, thats kind of religious, is it not?
You: it is a very religious place
Stranger: are you a roman catholic?
You: yes
Stranger: do you believe in everything that they tell you to believe in as a roman catholic?
You: i go around social network sites to help people see god
You: yes i do
You: have you ever thought about going to church or even sayin a quiet prayer
Stranger: I am unable to think about such things, because I don’t believe in supernatural things
Stranger: but when i was a little kid, I participated in some religious education, and recieved some theology classes
Stranger: went to a religious highschool for two years
You: what made you dissbelieve
You: or not fully understand?
Stranger: nothing made me believe
Stranger: you know, when you just take every bit of information you gather up in your life, you weigh the facts, the experiences and you come to say something about it, reach a conclusion if you will
Stranger: and that conclusion was for me, that I dont know the answers for the big questions, and thats it
Stranger: I can always try to find out, but for the time being, no human knows
Stranger: which is quite a pity but at least its the truth
Stranger: what make you believe?
You: when i was young i did not believe, but as i grew up a very close family member of mine was ill, he also was a priest, he had a very small chance of living.. he survived against the odds, i said prayers even though like you i wasnt sure, but he survived. since then i have always believed that there is a god looking out for us
Stranger: but surely that could have been just chance
You: this is where we differ, i chose to believe, the more i believe the safer and happier i feel that there will always be someone over looking me and others, even you
Stranger: I would miss the feeling of being true to myself if i did that
You: that is very true, you must never feel that you are not being true to yourself no matter what, you are a good person, god acknowledges this which is why he chose you to become a doctor and help people in need
You: but if you do not believe, god may not comfort you in situations when you feel alone
Stranger: its kinda heartless of him to do that though, aint it?
You: in a way yes i agree, but is it not hearless of you to not believe in someone who has given you the gift of life, the air to breathe, the food to eat
Stranger: he should just come up to me and tell me about it, I would gladly believe in him
Stranger: did he ever come up to you?
You: he has sent me and many others to do this for him, away of helping him spread the message, he has appeared to many the others who has not appeared to he will rely on us, i feel he came to me when i quietly said my prayers for my familymember, he did not physically appear but in some ways the life of my family member was enough
Stranger: umm, why do you think that the life of your family member matters, if you think that after he dies he will go to heaven anyway for eternity, I mean, does that handful of years really matter if you look at the big picture?
You: so what are you wearing
Stranger: ?
You: you heard, are you naked, i mean come on jesus christ your so fucking boring, i tried to hint you that i was a priest so you could come into my confession box and suck my balls
You: jesus
Stranger: haha
Stranger: well playes
Stranger: d
You: so you up for abit of cyber after i un hook you
Stranger: haha, no
Stranger: I was looking for a talk actually, I dont know, maybe it wasnt FUCKING OBVIOUS TO YOU
Stranger: i should have made myself clearer
Stranger: lol
You: well god wants this, he made my cock go hard
You: come to the confession boof you cheaky little git
You: i have candy

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

VOLDAMORT!!!!!

You: hi
Stranger: IM GAY
You: ok… r u harry potter?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: sike im Hermine
You: ok… u better run because i am Lord Volfamort!!!
You: *Voldamort
Stranger: thats cool. !!
Stranger: im hitler
Stranger: i killed all the jews
Stranger: and anne frank.
You: we shall b best friends
Stranger: :DD
You: i killed all the muggles
Stranger: but im gay
You: and good guys
Stranger: i am gay!!
Stranger: are you a boy or a man? or a girl or a woman?
You: a 145 year old man
Stranger: cool. well im 5006245419275274675678901281904563728190 . pretty old
Stranger: your to young for me
You: ya… ur very old 4 me…
Stranger: iknoww
You: 5006245419275274675678901281904563728190 is very old
You: 5006245419275274675678901281904563728190 is very old
Stranger: you coppied the #
You: yup… haha
Stranger: haha do you like gay pople
Stranger: im watching gay porn
You: yes… as long as they are not moodbloods
Stranger: and jerking off
You: ok…
You: very nicccccccceeeeee
Stranger: what do you like doing when your home alone
Stranger: i have micheal jackson come over and play hide-nd-go-seek. :)
You: gettin 2getha with my killing friends and come up with evil scemes 2 kill ur friend harry potter
Stranger: why. your just jealous that he has powers and you don BITCHAAA
You: nooo… he didnt die… and took my powers… he is the only one… he almost killed me!
Stranger: ohh on that hand okay. its okay,
Stranger: BYEEEEEEE >
You: haha nooooo! i havnt killed u yet
You: AVADACADABERA!!!!!!!!!
You: now ur ded
You: and now it is my turn to leev… goodbye

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

Horny Unicorn

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hey horny 16 m here
You: hi unicorn here. I want my horn back. thanks:)
Stranger: Fight me for it bitch
You: fine. but I’m pretty sure I can shoot you with my rainbow gun
Stranger: nothing can beat my star cannon
You: really. out comes the DOUBLE RAINBOW gun. beat that
Stranger: fine, u can have your ham
You: fine I’ll return your bacon
Stranger: fair enough
You: goodbye. I must collect more horns from young horny teenagers farewell my friend
Stranger: fare u well, friend
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

Argument of the Gents

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Salutations, sir! Have you recently experienced any notable situations worthy of discussion or regaling?
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: Have you?
You: Yes, I have.
Stranger: Very well.
Stranger: What of them?
You: I believe I initiated this conversation. Why don’t you go first?
Stranger: Well, I answered the question and then I followed up with a more specific one. It is surely your turn, sir or madam.
You: Your follow-up was anything but specific. All you attempted to do was step out of the limelight and start the turn of the tide.
Stranger: I beg to differ. I attempted to turn the tables, not the tide
You: It is an idiom, sir.
Stranger: Noted, sir or madam.
You: I am a man, good sir.
Stranger: The overarching point being, I asked you to describe your exploits, which you have so far failed to do. All you asked me is whether I had any
Stranger: Which I answered, sir.
You: I asked of any worthy of regaling. If they were, they would have been said.
Stranger: Well, that was your hope, but it was not contained within your initial query.
Stranger: Surely, good sir, you cannot deny this?
You: Yes, it was.
You: Right at the very end.
Stranger: You asked if they were worthy of discussion or regaling, to which I replied that they were indeed, which answered your question.
You: Yet I have yet to see if they are indeed worthy, since they have not been discussed.
You: As so far, they haven’t.
You: And that would make you a liar, sir.
Stranger: Ahh, but that judgment was left up to me in my response, was it not?
You: No, it was not.
Stranger: I beg to differ, sir!
You: I refuse.
Stranger: At the very least there is a wretched ambiguity in the phrasing of your question
You: I will perhaps agree to that, but I have cleared the ambiguity with my intentions.
Stranger: This is indeed the case, but it may be a case of “too little, too late.”
You: Only because you will not tell me this story of yours.
You: If you would, there would be no case.
Stranger: But I have insisted upon the dictums of conversational etiquette, which you have so far refused to follow.
You: ಠ.ಠ
Stranger: To wit, you answer my question, and then you get to ask another one that I shall answer, and so on.
You: You are being quite absurd.
Stranger: I am not.
You: You have only answered a single one then wanted another, then, in all probability, another after that.
You: You want to command this conversation.
Stranger: This is patently false
You: But, as the initiator, I will take my charge.
Stranger: We BOTH want to command this conversation.
You: I realize this.
Stranger: But only one of us shall prevail!
You: THEN YOU SHALL DIE, GOOD SIR.
Stranger: NOT IF YOU DIE FIRST, SIR!
You: To the dueling patio!
Stranger: *walks to dueling patio, trips on threshold through glass window, slits neck accidentally, dies*
You: Mary, leave the tea on. I want a spot of Earl Grey when I come back.
You: Oh, never mind. I’ll take that tea now, thank you.
Stranger: Don’t forget to pour one out for me!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

Gay?

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Hi
Stranger: hi there
You: I hate omegle everyone keeps disconnecting on me D:
Stranger: do you know why?
You: Boring chats
You: or they’re looking for pornography?
Stranger: oh yeah they are
You: you are to?
You: too*
Stranger: no, are you?
You: No
You: I did a cam chat and some guy was masturbating and I disconnected on him.
Stranger: what a desperate bastard
You: yeah
Stranger: what do you want to talk about then
You: i dont know
You: life?
Stranger: what do you mean?
Stranger: my life is ok :)
You: Age sex location?
Stranger: oh 17 male UK
Stranger: you?
You: 177 male USA
You: 17*
Stranger: why did you do a cam chat with a naked guy then, are you gay?
You: No
You: I just pressed cam chat
You: and that guy randomly came up
You: and i quick disconnected
Stranger: oh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 8.8/10 (5 votes cast)

No Comments

Bored on Omegle

Stranger: wanna watch me cum?
You: well thats your choice
You: and it looks like you made your choice
You: well whilst you slap the solami, i am going on youtube

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

The unicorns are sacred! Or are they?

You: HI, IM A 98 OLD MAN WHO LIVES IN A UNICORN STABLE!
Stranger: Hi. I’m hungry.
You: Want to eat my unicorn?
You: It’s tasty
Stranger: You shouldn’t eat unicorns. They’re sacred.
Stranger: Didn’t you read/saw Harry Potter?
Stranger: *see
You: yes, but I don’t care
Stranger: But that’s terrible! You have to be a really, really bad person to be able to kill a unicorn.
Stranger: And it’s so pointless to kill one.
Stranger: Their horn can like, heal and stuff.
Stranger: It’s very cool.
You: I dont kill it, just eat it!
Stranger: WELL THAT’S EVEN MORE TERRIBLE!
You: NOO, I don’t think so….
You: They taste good, so what
You: that’s all that matters
You: I have a hot unicorn (hot dog)
You: If you want, I know you’re hungryyy
Stranger: I’m a vegetarian.
You: You can eat the unicorns pooh
You: if you want
Stranger: No thank you. It doesn’t sound tasty to me.
You: My unicorn can poop rainbow poop :O
You: Isn’t that amazing?
Stranger: Yes, that is amazing.
You: And it taste good too, it taste different¨
Stranger: But
Stranger: When you eat your unicorn.
Stranger: IT’S GONE!
You: to normal horse pooh
Stranger: or do you have more unicorns?
You: yeah, a whole stable :)
You: I can’t just eat one unicorn, and be full the rest of my life
Stranger: oh yeah, you said that.
Stranger: But.
Stranger: You live there right?
You: yahh
Stranger: Aren’t the unicorns your friends?
Stranger: Is it normal for you to eat your friends?
Stranger: I don’t eat my friends.
You: One can’t live if the other lives
You: or something like that
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: But.
Stranger: Then you must be very lonely.
You: As long as one lives, none of them live
Stranger: By the way, I think it’s pretty amazing that you have internet in a unicorn stable. That’s cool.
You: I know, I can chat with other people, and play WOW with my unicorns
Stranger: Are they good?
You: Some, but I eat them if they’re better than me
Stranger: Oh, smart.
Stranger: So you’re a jealous type?
You: No?
You: I just want to be the best WOW player in the world!
You: AND RULE THE WORLD, WITH WOW!
You: And unicorns
Stranger: But it’s kind of childish to just eat the ones that are better than you.
Stranger: Do you also eat humans who are better than you?
You: Nooooo….. (A)
You: OK! They just taste sooooo good :’(
Stranger: Are unicorns the only thing you eat?
Stranger: Or do you also eat.
Stranger: I don’t know.
Stranger: Normal stuff.
Stranger: Vegetables.
You: What is a vegetable?
Stranger: Never mind.
Stranger: But what if you run out of Unicorns?
You: No, they reproduce very fast, like rabbits
Stranger: Oh good.
Stranger: And where is your unicorn stable located?
You: In unicorn land
Stranger: Where in the world is that ;o
You: In Norway of course
Stranger: REALLY?
Stranger: I almost went to Norway last year
Stranger: But we didn’t go.
Stranger: Because my grandma was sick
Stranger: =(
You: yeah, with Alexander Rybak
Stranger: I want to visit Unicorn Land!
Stranger: Ah crap.
You: Where in Norway?
Stranger: That’s a good question. I have no idea. Let me ask.
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: We were going on a road trip. Sort of.
Stranger: In the South of Norway.
Stranger: Where’s unicorn land?
You: It’s a secret place, nobody knows where it is
Stranger: Just you?
You: Yepp
Stranger: Are you the only human there?
Stranger: Then you must be really special :)
You: IM SPECIAL

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments

I say __, you say..?

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl;
You: I say pancake you say..?
Stranger: beer
You: I say bumblebee you say..?
Stranger: wasp
You: I say Dumbledore you say..?
Stranger: harry
You: I say Chuck Norris you say…?
Stranger: spic
Stranger: epic*
You: I say a cow floating on a purlpe mat in the middle of a field with 8 transvestite witches chanting ancient curses around it, you say…?
Stranger: seen weirder on the internet
You: I say man-whore, you say..?
Stranger: gerorge bush
You: I say optical zoom 8.9 megapixel Olympus camera with high defintion video recorder, you say..?
Stranger: womens beach volleyball open
You: I say naked Sarah Palin wearing only her glasses and some cream, you say?
Stranger: FINALLY!!
You: I say go carting championship between Mario and your mother. Your mother gets brutally murdered by Mario & Luigi after race, becuase they were jealous that she won the title, and of her womanly features, you say..?
Stranger: ka shing… insurance
You: I say Bob Marleys rastafarian hat, and one hour to live, you say..?
Stranger: give me a joint
You: I say Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spagetti, you say ..?
Stranger: i hope your a woman or that would be a big gay
You: I say, I AM a woman, you say..?
Stranger: ohhh good, then u like you to
You: I say Farmville, you say..?
Stranger: ohhh jezus christ no
You: I say peanut plants, you say?
Stranger: ok
You: I say, I have to go now, you sayy…?
Stranger: do u have msn?
You: I say, peado, I say goodbye.
You: (;
You have disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

No Comments