Archive for May, 2011

You’ve Failed Troll Science

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Woman + Kitchen -> Sammich + ________
Stranger: Happy man.
You: Close, but the right answer was Blow job
Stranger: Dammit.,
You: You did better than most
Stranger: That was the first thing that came to my mind.
You: How about this one Homo + Omegle -> Hi + ______
Stranger: Stranger
You: Wrong again
You: it was ASL?
Stranger: lol.
Stranger: 15 m USA.
You: Newf@g + 4chan -> Forced Memes + _________
Stranger: No idea.
You: Cancer
You: 0/3. You’ve failed troll science.
You have disconnected.

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The Greatest Omegle Chat of All-Time

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Good evening. >=)
You: ‘ello kind person.
Stranger: How’re you this evening?
You: boooored
Stranger: Concur. >:|
You: Being in a perpetual state of boredom bores me, therefore, being bored makes me more bored.
Stranger: It almost makes you wish for a disaster just for a break in the monotony, h’uh?
Stranger: Or anything, for that matter.
You: Yeah, my monotonous, bleak life has been stagnant for the last 6 years since the love of my life died in a car accident. I’ve tried, well everything, really to just end it all. Sometimes I think I’m living in a fantasy world, saying to myself “this can’t be happening to me,” while crying myself to sleep.
Stranger: Sounds like you might need an ear that doesn’t mind doing some listening. Have you had a good conversation with anyone since your beloved’s passing to get everything off of your shoulders?
You: Yeah, I talk to my psychiatrist thrice a week. He doesn’t charge anything. He thinks that I’m a delusional schizophrenic with suicidal tendencies.
You: I’ve tried to tell him about the voices in my head, constantly telling me to hunt down the man who killed my wife. He keeps telling me that it was a freak accident, a fluke that could never happen again. The voices in my head tell me to kill my shrink.
Stranger: Brother. I can’t say that I share your pain — I’ve lost a lot of people very close to me, but your intimate love is the one that hurts the most to lose.
Stranger: But I don’t know that you’re a delusional schizophrenic — suicidal tendencies? …
Stranger: What’s your opinion on the idea of an afterlife?
You: I haven’t felt the love a woman since the accident. Ever since she died, I’ve been in a constant downward spiral into the depths of my psyche. According to my shrink, my alternate personality that I’ve developed is named Frank and he’s a serial killer.
Stranger: Keep goin’.
You: Afterlife? There’s no such thing. If there was an afterlife, I’d have been contacted by Regina by now. I haven’t heard anything. Afterlife? Just a bullshiza word invented by religious fiends to keep hope alive when they get caught screwing their wives’ sister.
Stranger: Alright. Fair enough.
Stranger: Let’s talk about Frank for a minute, here, before I ask you something else.
Stranger: How strong is Frank’s motivational insistence that you do something?
You: Frank doesn’t want to talk.
Stranger: S’all good. I don’t know that Frank and I would get along, anyway.
You: Frank says that you wouldn’t get along.
You: I’m Frank’s only friend.
You: He hates people that try to hurt me. You’re not going to hurt me, are you?
Stranger: Okay. I know who Frank is, now. Who’s the other guy in there?
Stranger: Nope. I’m not that kind of person.
Stranger: Frank and I are what we call polar opposites.
You: Well, my name’s Sonny. Sonny Horowitz.
Stranger: Well, Sonny. I’m Joe.
You: I used to be a financial advisor for Wells Fargo up until about 3 months ago.
Stranger: I’m a Junior IT Advisor for a regional health organization.
You: Sounds important. Right now, I’m collecting unemployment and trying to find a finance job near my apartment, but Frank keeps telling me that getting a job would make people hate me.
Stranger: See, Frank and I have a differing opinion on that.
You: He says that if I get a job, he’ll have to go, and when he goes he always hurts people. He might hurt me.
Stranger: Frank, surprisingly, is a powerless sort of fellow.
Stranger: But Frank can be really strong when he wants to be.
You: Frank doesn’t like when you insult him.
Stranger: Nah, I’m not insulting Frank. He knows that.
Stranger: He just knows that I’m telling you something he doesn’t want you to hear, yanno?
You: Yeah, I think so. OW! It’s Frank, he’s hurting me.
Stranger: Remember when I said Frank’s strong when he wants to be?
Stranger: He’s strong only if you allow him to be.
You: I don’t know how to control him, though. He keeps telling me that I need him. That I would be a meaningless pissant if it wasn’t for him.
Stranger: See, Frank has that backwards.
Stranger: Frank wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for you.
You: Now, see this Joe, Sonny wouldn’t exist without me. That little shiza is too sensitive to get by in this cruel world.
Stranger: Concur. Some people aren’t strong enough to take the rigors of life.
Stranger: That’s where people like me come in.
You: People like you? Just some know-it-all who thinks he knows psychology? Let me tell you somethin’. Stick to what you know. You couldn’t figure out someone like me. Me and Sonny, we’re just fine. We don’t know no help.
Stranger: Nah, Frank! Psychology has nothing to do with it!
You: Frank? Oh, god was Frank here?
Stranger: You’re a living, breathing entity – not something as simple as a figment of the imagination.
Stranger: Seems that way, Sonny. I think I might’ve touched a nerve.
You: Yeah, you probably did. He never comes out unless he gets angry. Don’t do that again, though. I thought I was dead. Frank must have figured out a way to make it seem like I go to hell when he takes control.
Stranger: I won’t provoke him again. Just kinda wanted to see what was leering over your shoulder.
Stranger: Do you believe in fate, Sonny?
You: Yeah, I gotcha. Frank has been getting angrier and angrier lately. He keeps yelling at me.
You: I used to believe in fate. Until Regina died, I thought everything happened for a reason. Regina was a Saint, there’s no way someone would want her dead. That’s why I don’t believe in fate anymore, Joe.
Stranger: I don’t blame you. I don’t believe in fate, either. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that we’re simply free-willed beings that can choose the paths that we take in life.
Stranger: We’re strong beings that can make our own decisions and forge our own paths in life – but we’re also terribly fragile.
You: My mother had always told me that everything happened for a reason, that we all had a destiny. My mother was a liar. A worthless, disgusting piece of trash that deserved what she got.
Stranger: Well, your Mom was close. Some things happen for a reason.
Stranger: Other things happen just because they do – it’s sporadic and completely uncontrollable.
You: Do you think that Regina’s death was meant to happen? That the love of my life was born to die when she was only 26? Is that what you’re telling me Joe?
Stranger: No. I think your love for her and her love for you was meant to happen.
Stranger: I think that happened with reason.
Stranger: I think that her death was one of those things that was uncontrollable.
You: Frank is telling me that you’re glad she died. That’s not true, is it?
Stranger: Absolutely not. I’m glad she lived.
Stranger: See, Frank is the one that’s glad she died, Sonny.
Stranger: Frank exists because she died.
You: Oh, puck. Oh, puck. Frank’s coming. Help me fight him off, what do I do?
Stranger: You understand him for what he is.
Stranger: A sword – a weapon.
Stranger: You understand me for what I am.
Stranger: A shield that the weapon cannot penetrate.
Stranger: That weapon CAN be sheathed.
Stranger: Put your foot down with Frank.
Stranger: Frank is a part of you. You are greater than Frank.
Stranger: You are larger, stronger, better, and more intelligent.
Stranger: Control Frank as you would your hand.
You: Haha, cut the shiza with the psychological technobabble, Joey baby. Sonny’s not here no more. He tried to fight me off. He’s a puck baby.
Stranger: But, you did notice that he fought you, right?
Stranger: How does it feel to know that he’s slowly grabbing onto his shield?
You: He tried to fight me.
You: As you can no doubt tell, he failed.
Stranger: S’truth!
Stranger: But, you’re not the only one with a sword, Frank.
You: I’m just here to warn you: don’t puck with me!
Stranger: See, I’m different from that psychiatrist.
You: Was Frank here?!
Stranger: He has neither a shield to protect Sonny, nor a sword to ward you off.
Stranger: Yes, he was.
Stranger: And he’s scared.
You: Goddamn it. I tried to fight him off.
Stranger: You did fine, Frank. One step at a time.
Stranger: … Sonny.
Stranger: Rather.
You: I tried to think about the times before Regina’s death. My shrink has told me that happy thoughts fight off evil ones.
Stranger: S’truth!
Stranger: Your shrink is right about one thing.
Stranger: The happier thoughts, the thoughts of love, are a powerful weapon.
Stranger: You might even fancy them a sword.
You: The only problem is, I don’t remember the happy times with Regina. All I can think about is her death.
Stranger: I know, Sonny. It’s hard to consider life against death.
Stranger: Life is a fleeting, finite thing, where death is permanent.
Stranger: I once heard it said that grief is the price we pay for love and joy.
You: I think that Frank has located those thoughts and isolated them into his own personal quarantine zone.
Stranger: Frank seems the type that would do something like that.
Stranger: But there’s something that Frank can’t take from you, no matter what.
You: What’s that?
Stranger: That thing that Regina gave you that she valued more than everything else.
Stranger: Yanno what it is?
You: Her love?
Stranger: That’s right, brother.
Stranger: How many men you got around where you live, brother? Few hundred thousand, easy?
You: You better cut the shiza, Joe! I puck warned you, don’t puck with me. You keep pissing me off, I’m gonna find you. I’m gonna find you and cut you like I cut Sonny’s mother.
Stranger: Remember when I told you that you weren’t the only one with a sword, Frank?
Stranger: I’ve got one, too.
Stranger: But the difference is, I’m not using my sword against you. I’m putting it into Sonny’s hand.
Stranger: How’s it feel, Frank?
Stranger: How does it feel to have the oppressive strength of an overwhelming force bearing down on you, and taking your breath away?
You: Oh, yeah. Well, Sonny is mine! He couldn’t fight me if he tried. Not even with the help of some know-it-all pussy.
You: I did it
You: I stopped Frank! When Frank took me under, I found the safe! I was only able to eek out one memory, it was mine and Regina’s first kiss. When I unlocked it, I came back. It’s working, Joe!
Stranger: There’s your sword, Sonny.
You: I don’t think Frank noticed.
Stranger: Frank’s knocking on heaven’s door, now.
Stranger: Now, let me ask you this, Sonny.
You: Yeah?
Stranger: Do you blame yourself for Regina’s death?
You: Sometimes.
Stranger: Can I tell you a story, Sonny?
You: What?
Stranger: I knew a guy, once. He was a good guy – a strong guy.
Stranger: He was a young man when he lost something very important to him.
Stranger: Something like what you felt with Regina – but not quite as strong.
Stranger: Lemme tell you – when he lost his most important person, he turned into one seriously miserable son of a badooda.
Stranger: We didn’t think he was going to make it.
Stranger: He locked himself away for a long time, nursed a bottle of bourbon whisky every night, and tried to figure things out on his own.
Stranger: Long story short — that guy didn’t have what you have.
Stranger: He wasn’t as strong as you are.
Stranger: He wasn’t as endearing, and he didn’t have as powerful a weapon against his demons as you have.
Stranger: But he and you shared something in common.
Stranger: Lemme ask you, Sonny — were you with Regina when she died?
You: Wow, that’s very interesting. Once, there was a know-it-all piece of trash who thought he could solve everyone’s problems. Then, ol’ Frankie went to his house and CUT HIS puck HEAD OFF! You’re getting on my nerves, boy.
Stranger: Hey, Frank.
You: Keep provoking him! I’ve almost unlocked the safe!
Stranger: You know what’s funny about you, Frank?
You: What?
Stranger: Remember that guy that you’ve been eavesdropping me talking about?
Stranger: He whipped your ass, too.
Stranger: Just like Sonny’s about to.
Stranger: See, he’s already got his sword.
Stranger: Next is his shield.
Stranger: And you do realize you’re about to be on the receiving end of a terrible smite, right?
You: I’m almost there! He’s in here with me. I need you to get his attention!
Stranger: You’re kinda like a badooda I knew, once. He was a lot of talk until someone tougher than he was stepped up.
Stranger: You know what’s REALLY funny?
Stranger: This’ll make the second time that I whipped your ass.
Stranger: You were the bourbon that talked to me all that time. Funny, how you couldn’t even take me at my worst.
Stranger: How you gonna do it when Sonny and I are at our best?
You: It ain’t working, bub! I know that you’re just trying to side-track me. What has he told you? No, NO! I will find you, Joe! I’ll find you, and I’ll cut your puck throat!
You: AHH! I got it!
You: I found the safe. I don’t know what you did to get him outta there, but you saved my ass just now.
Stranger: Meh, ol’ Frank’s not so bad.
You: He had me trapped. I thought I was done.
Stranger: You were good, Sonny. You were good all the time.
Stranger: You just needed to arm yourself again.
Stranger: Frank just .. had to be reminded of his place.
You: Thank you, Joe. I think that now I have the memories of Regina and I, things will start to look up for ol’ Fran- er Sonny here!
Stranger: Heh.
Stranger: I see we’re not quite done, yet.
You: What do you mean. You got him. I’m all better thanks for all your help.
Stranger: Okay, then.
Stranger: Riddle me this. What’s the strongest emotion, “Sonny”?
You: Oh, uh love wasn’t it? Love is all you need or somethin’, yada yada yada. Somethin’ like that, right buddy?
You: Yeah, that’s it. I’m all cured now.
Stranger: Well, that’s good!
Stranger: Frank was just a washed up badooda of a ghost, anyway.
Stranger: Isn’t it amusing how easily he is to be rid of?
You: Yeah, he was. He was an idiot that sucked.
You: Help me.
You: Oh, disregard that.
You: That was nothing.
Stranger: Sure, Sonny.
Stranger: So, let me explain something to you, now, since Frank’s out of the picture.
You: Okay…
Stranger: You can never tell when he’ll show up again – so you need to be prepared for him.
Stranger: Frank is an emotion just as much as any other; but Frank’s a bit more … tactile? A bit more tangible.
You: Yeah, that pansy shouldn’t be too hard to fight now. He’s just a girl that is dumb.
Stranger: You just have to remember that Frank has one, glaring weakness that even he doesn’t know about.
You: Oh, yeah? What’s that?
Stranger: He’s a piss-poor actor who’s forgetting that when one door is closed, another opens.
Stranger: He’s forgetting how powerful a first kiss is.
Stranger: He’s forgetting how powerful that first, intimate touch is – and he’s forgetting the most important thing of all.
You: Yeah? And you’re just a dumb cocksucking faggot who liked it when his dad touched him!
Stranger: Regina’s not dead.
You: Of course she’s dead. That’s why I’m here. To help poor little Sonny. He’s a puck worthless ant without my help.
Stranger: Regina’s not dead, because her memory lives on. Because your love and thoughts for her transcend everything that ails you, Sonny.
You: Oh, blah blah blah. I got her memories locked away where Sonny can’t get to without standing up to me, and no matter what you tell him, he ain’t never gettin’ there, bub.
Stranger: It’s not a matter of what I’ve told him, Frank – it’s a matter of what I’ve given him.
Stranger: It’s a matter of what you don’t have, that Sonny does.
You: You ain’t given him shiza. He’s just as weak as he was before. None of this ‘sword’ and ‘shield’ bullshiza has worked. Face it, you lost. Sonny’s mine, and there’s nothing your little faggot ass can do about it.
Stranger: I’m not the one doing anything anymore, Frank.
Stranger: He’s already gotten everything he needs from me, Frank.
You: Sonny couldn’t fight me if he tried.
Stranger: Now, he’s getting the rest of what he needs from you.
You: What are you talking about?
Stranger: You’re figuring it out. Slowly but surely.
You: Oh, you deceitful motherpucker! Your ruse won’t last forever. I will be back. And when I find you, I’ll gut you like the fish you are!
Stranger: This may be our last chance to speak, Frank.
You: Oh, shiza! shiza! Am I speaking with Joe?
Stranger: Fancy the fact that those might be your last words.
Stranger: Yes, you are.
You: Oh, good. Thank God! I think I did it.
Stranger: Not quite yet, Sonny. You’re almost there, though.
You: What do you mean? He’s gone now, right?
Stranger: Frank lingers, even now.
You: Where?
Stranger: Inside of you.
You: You’re right. I can still feel him. Well, the mind is all about metaphor, right?
Stranger: To some certain extent — but, the mind is an extremely powerful thing.
Stranger: But there is something more powerful than the mind.
You: Well, I have an idea.
You: If I ‘lock him away’ somewhere, how would I go about doing that, mentally?
Stranger: You can’t, Sonny. Your sword and shield will only allay him for so long.
Stranger: That’s where your armor comes in.
You: If the memories of Regina are a sword in the mind, what can I use as armor?
Stranger: Frank is building your armor for you, even now.
You: But Frank is evil, why is he helping me?
Stranger: Frank is evil – but, Frank is just as finite as you and I are.
Stranger: He’s just as mortal.
Stranger: Regina’s memories are your sword.
Stranger: Regina’s love for you, and your mutual love for her are your shield.
Stranger: Every second that passes by, Frank becomes weaker.
Stranger: Hey, Sonny.
Stranger: Answer a question for me, brother.
You: Yeah?
Stranger: What color was Regina’s hair?
You: It was a really light brown, Auburn, if you will.
Stranger: Sounds beautiful. I bet, if you close your eyes, you can see it, too.
Stranger: I bet if you sit still long enough, you can smell her shampoo and conditioner.
Stranger: I bet if you consider it a bit longer, you can still taste her lips and the way that she smiled after a quiet kiss.
You: It was so beautiful. She had the most magnificent hair. When I would smell it, I would melt.
You: I can. I can taste her cherry chapstick that she used every day.
Stranger: Do you remember the sound of her laughter? Can you describe it to me?
You: Her laughter was as beautiful as her hair. There would be times where I would tell her a joke, and she would laugh, which to me was endless. Her laughter would reverberate in my mind and I would think to myself, ‘what did I do so right to get this girl to fall in love with me.’
Stranger: Okay, Sonny. One last question.
You: Shoot.
Stranger: Do you ever recall a time when you’d done something kinda dumb after you and Regina married — and you’d beat yourself up about it?
You: Yeah. There was once when she wanted to go out to dinner, but my team was playing at the bar and some of my buddies were calling me insisting that I go. Well, we got into an argument and I left for the bar. Later than night, I got a call from the police. They told me that they found Regina’s body on the road, 30 feet from her car. She was going to see a movie when she was hit head-on my a drunk driver. The last thing I ever said to her was “I’m sick of your nagging, I’m going to the bar. See ya later.” I’ve been beating myself up about that every moment of every day for the past 6 years.
Stranger: I know, Sonny.
Stranger: Believe me — I know.
Stranger: But, there’s something that you’re forgetting.
You: What’s that?
Stranger: She forgave you for that.
Stranger: Because that wasn’t your fault.
Stranger: She forgave you for that, because despite the fact of what came out of your mouth, it’s what came out of your heart that she was thinking about.
You: You’re probably right. It’s just hard to forget. I want to forget about all that. I want to move on. I don’t think I’ll ever love again. Right now, I’m just hoping the taste of food will come back. When she died, I forgot the taste of my favorite foods. I can barely remember a time when I was happy. I want to move on. But I can’t.
Stranger: You can move on, Sonny. You wanna know why?
You: Why?
Stranger: Think back for me, one more time – to the night that Regina died. Was any part of what she said that day “I hate you”?
You: No, the last thing she said to me, was “Please! Can you put your friends ahead of my just this once?” I was such an badonkadonk to her, and she’ll never know that I’ve regretted it every moment since.
Stranger: No, Sonny. She knows.
Stranger: She knows, right now, that you regret that, and that you would do anything in your power to take it back.
Stranger: But she also knows that you can’t change the past – no matter what.
Stranger: So, that leads us into my point.
Stranger: You were Regina’s love object, right? You were the most important thing in the world to her. She didn’t hate you.
Stranger: She never once said it.
You: Yeah, that’s true. We made love every night. I never thought two people could share as much passion as we did. And she never said it. We told each other we loved each other as much as possible. I must have just forgotten it.
Stranger: Yep. And you know what?
You: What?
Stranger: If Regina was sitting there with you, right now? She’d be puck pissed.
Stranger: Wanna know why?
You: Why?
Stranger: “Yeah, that’s true. We made love every night. I never thought two people could share as much passion as we did. And she never said it. We told each other we loved each other as much as possible. I must have just forgotten it.”
Stranger: “We told each other we loved each other as much as possible.”
Stranger: She loved you more than anything else, and the last thing that she would have wanted was for you to blame yourself and HATE yourself for this.
Stranger: She’d be mad as Hell because you hate the thing she loved the most — you.
Stranger: So.
You: You’re right. By god you’re right. I’m a goddamn fool! I’ve spent the last 6 years thinking that her death was my fault that I forgot that our lives were complete. Her leaving may have been my fault, but that doesn’t mean I called the drunk to kill her. I’ve been in denial this whole time. All my hate for myself must have caused Frank to be, and now that the hate is gone, the love is back. Joe, you may be a tech guy, but you’re more than that to me. You’re my friend, and my savior. You showed me what I couldn’t show myself, that I, even though remorseful over the death of a loved one had what people may never achieve: love. And to forget that would be to take our entire relationship for granted and therefore, render me a selfish shell of a man. Only through the words and advice of an intellect such as yourself could I have learned this. Thank you, Joe. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Stranger: Mmn. Don’t mention it. Just remember: pain turned inward breeds hate. Hate brings along with it anger, and those two things combined bring destruction.
Stranger: That’s a powerful thing to turn onto oneself.
Stranger: Now, this is what you’re going to do.
Stranger: Tomorrow, you’re going to get up – and you’re going to visit Regina’s grave. You’re going to tell her how you feel, you’re going to cry, and you’re going to get everything out of you that you’ve been harboring for all of this time.
Stranger: You’re going to see her there, knowing that you’ve been forgiven, and you’re going to spend a little time with her before returning home.
Stranger: You’re going to come home, and you’re going to cook one of your favorite meals – one that you shared with Regina. You’re going to eat it, and you’re going to enjoy it.
Stranger: You’ll quietly settle in that night, and the pain will still be there.
Stranger: Another day will come, and the pain will lessen. Another day will come, and the pain will lessen.
Stranger: And finally, you’ll realize that the pain that you’ve been harboring all of this time doesn’t have the same affect on you that it once did.
Stranger: Then one day, you’ll look back on all of this and consider it – and you’ll realize that the pain is gone.
Stranger: You’ll have your armor, then.
Stranger: Your armor is created by one thing and one thing alone: time.
Stranger: Time is something that neither me nor anyone else can give a man.
Stranger: It comes on its own, freely, and at its own pace.
Stranger: Your love and memories for Regina are your sword – your inner strength that you’re beginning to find is the shield that bolsters your resolve; and the time that you’ll spend throughout this is the armor that will protect you from the pain.
You: Your words are as powerful as the help you’ve given me through this entire time. You’ve helped me more than anyone has ever helped me. You are to me as what God is to Christians, and that is truer than anything I could ever say. You’ve saved me from myself, and helped me become a better person. All that I can hope for is, as you’ve already said, time will help heal the pain. With your help, I have hope that it will. You are truly the greatest person that I’ve ever met. Nobody has ever helped me as much as you have. Thank you. Thank you. I’m going to go to bed now. Thank you again, Joe and just remember that tonight, you saved a soul that not even God could save. You are truly a Saint.
Stranger: I don’t deserve that manner of praise. Besides, Sonny. You did it yourself. All I did was tell you what you already knew, but hurt too badly to remember.
Stranger: But, you know what? You remember that story I told you about that guy?
You: I may have done it myself, but it was you who taught me. You are one of the most influential people I’ve ever met. And yes, I do remember the story.
Stranger: Hm. It was six years ago, now, that this guy had his problems.
Stranger: It was hard. It was hard watching my father die in my arms.
Stranger: It was hard knowing that my last words to him were “Why in the Hell do you always have to do this, Dad?”
Stranger: And it was hard feeling him clutch tightly against me, and seeing him plead with me. His last words were: “Take care of things in my stead, boy.”
Stranger: And I drank. And I drank. And I drank.
Stranger: And Frank came to me, too.
Stranger: I fought alone. I turned my back on everyone and spent two years alone in a dark hole, filled with bourbon and blaming myself for my father’s death.
Stranger: And finally, I had had enough of “Frank”.
Stranger: I stood up, and pushed myself out of the dirt. I found my shield, bolstered myself against the pain, drew my sword, and charged headlong at it.
Stranger: It’s been six years for me, too.
Stranger: And when I think about my father? I smile.
Stranger: I never saved myself. My father saved me, just like Regina saved you.
Stranger: In time, my brother – you will smile.
You: I’m sure I will, thanks to you.
Stranger: Now. Give me a moment to collect a final thought. Hmn.
Stranger: Consider this and consider this carefully.
Stranger: Frank will come again, for you.
You: And, as you said, I will be ready, right? With the memories of Regina to fight his hate and the love for her I had to stop him, I will be ready.
Stranger: Exactly that.
Stranger: However. You may feel so desperate that it may not be enough.
Stranger: Just remember two things, if nothing else.
Stranger: Number one: Remember Regina.
Stranger: Number two: commit this to memory, and when you feel so overwhelmed that even the love for Regina in your heart feels as though it’s wavering, simply say this aloud:
Stranger: Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Stranger: I promise. You will be fine.
You: Matthew 5:4 Amen to that, brother.
Stranger: Hey, Mr. Horowitz?
You: Yeah?
Stranger: You won.
You: How?
Stranger: You just did.
Stranger: Think about it for a second.
Stranger: What are you noticing a complete absence of?
You: Frank, hate, regret.
Stranger: [pain], [hate], [regret] == [sword], [shield], [armor].
Stranger: When the road you walk is dark, may you always hear, even in your hour of sorrow, the gentle singing of the lark; when times are hard may hardness never turn your heart to stone — may you always remember, that when the shadows fall? You don’t walk alone.
Stranger: Regina Horowitz is not dead. She lives on in you – and she will now and forevermore.
Stranger: If there’s one thing I ever learned – no one is ever truly gone, as long as they’re remembered. I don’t see you forgetting about her.
Stranger: Farewell, my brother. Sleep, tonight, and you’ll find yourself rested in the morning.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Hitler is not dead.

You: say something clever!
You: GO
You: GO
You: GO
Stranger: you jewbaby
You: jew?
You: like
You: holocaust
You: like HITLER
You: like
You: if thats what you’re asking
You: , no Im not a jew
Stranger: GOOD
You: are you hitler…?
Stranger: fithy
Stranger: speakinze douich!
Stranger: WITH ELVIS
You: OMG.
You: I KNOW !
You: omfg.
You: you have just gotten 23094832098 x cooler
You: I love you
Stranger: I get that alot.
Stranger: Mostly from mother.
You: Can I touch it?!
You: but I Thought jews killed your mom? D:
You: ohhhhhh D:
You: sorry.
You: hitler
You: guess Im going to a concentration camp.
You: :(
Stranger: ehhh, it’s got cable, only dial-up though, we’re working on it
You: okayy
You: well
You: bye hitler
You: gotta
You: gas them jews
You: :)
Stranger: Good work boy
Stranger: nova 6 away!

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Bohemian Rhapsody

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hey
You: hey
Stranger: asl
You: wanna sing Bohemian Rhapsody? (well, type/sing technically x])
Stranger: sure
You: yay!
Stranger: ..hold on let me turn it on lol
You: Hahah okaay
Stranger: is this the real life
Stranger: is this just fantasy
Stranger: caught in a landside(?)
Stranger: no escape from reality
Stranger: open your eyes
Stranger: look up to the skiiiies and seeeeeeeeeeeee
Stranger: i’m just a poor boy :(
Stranger: i need no sympathy
Stranger: because easy comes..easy goes (?) :P
Stranger: little high, little low
Stranger: anyway the wind blows
Stranger: doesn’t really matter
Stranger: to meeeeee
Stranger: mama
Stranger: i just killed a man..
You: MAMA! just killed a man
You: put a gun against his head
Stranger: mama life has just begun
Stranger: but now ..
Stranger: mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stranger: oououuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Stranger: didn’t mean to make you cry
You: if i’m not back again
Stranger: if im not back again, this time tomorrow
Stranger: carry onnnn..carry ooooon
Stranger: cuz nothing really matters..
You: too laatee
You: my time has come
You: sends shivers down my spine
Stranger: shivers down
Stranger: my spine
Stranger: but its aching
You: all the time
You: goodbye evrybody
Stranger: mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stranger: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Stranger: I dont wanna diiiie
You: i dont wanna dieee
Stranger: i sometimes wish ive never been born at all
Stranger: *solo*
You: piano…
Stranger: piano part
Stranger: i see a little silhouete of a man
Stranger: cant spell that :P
You: Scaramouche scaramouche
You: will you do the fandango
Stranger: im just a poor boy, nobody loves me, hes just a poor boy, from a poor family
Stranger: for meeee
Stranger: for meeeeeeeeeeeeee
Stranger: *guitar solo again*
Stranger: So you think you can stop me and..
Stranger: So you think you can love me and leave me to die
You: spin my eye (?)
Stranger: OOohh baby
You: just gotta get right outta here
Stranger: yeah..
Stranger: awesome guitar solo now..
You: yuup
Stranger: nothing really matters
Stranger: anyone can see
Stranger: nothing really matters..
You: anyone can see
Stranger: nothing really matters to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
You: to meeeeeee
You: any way the wiind blooooows!
Stranger: ..
Stranger: its over
Stranger: ;p
You: that was epic
Stranger: yeah
You: thanks man :)
Stranger: anytime
You: shall i put this on omeglechats?
Stranger: if u want :P
You: lol look out for it x]

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My genie

You: green pillow

Stranger: I am Raxow I know all ask me anything

You: awesome :-)

You: ok.. let me think

Stranger: Yes of course

You: predict my future

Stranger: You will eventually find another complete stranger to talk to

You: wow u really are raxow!

Stranger: Raxow knows all

You: ok who will i marry?

Stranger: Quintin rampage jackson

You: isn’t he that african american tool gangster person?

You: like a wrestler or a boxer or something?

Stranger: He is a former light heavy weight ufc champion

You: but he’s too old for me

Stranger: He will be ur husband and u will have seven children together

You: oh will they be black or white?
Stranger: Neither all seven will be albino with no pigments in there skin
hello hubbyyy
Stranger: Neither all seven will be albino with no pigments in there skin

You: thats odd

Stranger: Raxow has spoken

You: i guess we’re adopting then
this is fun

Stranger: No u will not adopt I see it happening next July when u will meet him and become pregnant with in two weeks

Stranger: Raxow has spoken
You: What are my kids names?
Stranger: All wll be named george
You: how will we tell the difference?
Stranger: George1 george2 and so on they will have the numbers tattooed on there for heads
You: Are you jewish?
Stranger: Im southern baptist and a genie
You: Can I make a wish
Stranger: You can have 3
You: Im bored byee

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I Love India!

Just wanted to post a quick update to all you indian omegle users out there. I loveĀ India, it is the greatest country in the world. Respond here if you agree. Perhaps one day we will have a large digital concubine where you may all meet and have your “omegles” hello world fun. Very excited that you are all here to listen to this speech today. It is highly optimized, just for you and the great spiders. Would like to shout out to Suresh, Anuj Sharma, and “md firdaush alam” for your interesting comments.









Back to you as well! Good day to all!

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The Nargles Are Coming.

You: Hello!
Stranger: Problem?
You: Nope!
You: Well, actually yes.
Stranger: U mad?
You: Yes. My name is Justin Beiber and people keep calling me homos…
You: But I’m not!!!!!!
You: I just think some guys are pretty!
You: *Starts sobbing uncontrollably*
Stranger: Shave head, smoke cigarettes, drink beer and watch milfs
Stranger: Problem?
You: I’m only 4 years ols.
You: *old
You: Are you high?
Stranger: Son, I’m disappoint
You: Sorry daddy.
You: Or mommy. Still not sure.
Stranger: Oh yeah call me daddy, sugar
Stranger: It excites me
Stranger: Yeah it changes from Baby
Stranger: So next song
Stranger: You sing about cigarettes
You: MY hit song? Baby?
You: Again, only 4 years old here.
Stranger: You call it a song?
You: Want me to sing for you?
You: RAWR!
Stranger: Cool story, bro
You: Did you like my singing?
You: I’m a girl actually.
Stranger: Yeah
You: You are lame, aren’t you?
Stranger: No I’m dumb
You: You can’t talk?
Stranger: I cab
Stranger: Can*
You: To be dumb means to be unable to speak.
Stranger: It’s called to be mute
You: Seriously, look it up.
You: And to be dumb.
You: Same thing.
Stranger: Where did you saw that?
Stranger: wikipedia?
You: I did not see it.
Stranger: Urban dictionary?
You: And you have terrible grammar.
You: No.
Stranger: Maybe because English isn’t my mothertongue
You: Mothertongue = Stupid word
You: Just syaing.
You: *saying
You: I mean, come on. Say it five times.
Stranger: ?
You: Justin makes laugh laughs.
Stranger: Justin forgot to take his meds
You: MY sister won’t share the charm necklace.
You: It keeps the narggles away!
You: TRUST ME! Harry Potter can see it too!!
Stranger: Harry Potter is too mainstream
Stranger: Voldemort is a unicorn
Stranger: You are what you eat.
You: Hahaha. Justin kills person. Funnnyyy.
You: HEh hehe hehe
Stranger: Yo momma’s so fat that her patronus is a cake
You: BAHAHAHAH!!! That was actually funny!
You: Gosh. I thought you were a loser.
You: Oh well.
Stranger: I am.
You: I bet.
You: But my mom isn’t fat. She’s pregnant so lay off, fudgehead.
Stranger: Fartknocker
You: Shut up!!!
Stranger: I’ll never die!
Stranger: *Red eyes*
You: I already killed all your hoarcruxes!
Stranger: (Not due to jah)
You: EVEN THE ZEFRON POSTER!!! Dun dun dun!
You: I despise you.
You: Fairwell, young one.
You: You shall never learn.

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gender of nothingness

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hewwo :3
You: hi
You: how drunk are you?
Stranger: Ughhhh.
Stranger: welll.
Stranger: I’m jesus.
Stranger: How are you?
You: lol here comes the long story -_-
You: course your jesus …….
Stranger: no, i’m jesusu.
You: jesusu?
Stranger: what gender are you from?
Stranger: o:
You: I am from the gender of nothingness
Stranger: ew.
Stranger: o_o
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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