Archive for July, 2011

Correct Greetings

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: m 23
You: That’s just awesome
You: Is that how you meet people for the first time in the street?
You: Or in a bar?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Either Or

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hii
You: hello?
Stranger: m or f
You: what if I wasn’t either, how would you feel then?
Stranger: shock
You: yeah, mabye next time you should add the option: niether
You: didn’t think about that did you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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The ‘Niffe’, Puppy, and Tongue…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: im a young man

You: do yhu like role playing?

You: about sex?

Stranger: a little bit

Stranger: i never tried it…

You: ok then lets start.

Stranger: are you a girl or a boy?

You: You pick me up at a local gas station.

You: Im a girl..16

Stranger: ok, im 17, we then go to the nearest and CHEAPEST motel 6.

You: I kick off my payless heels and shove you in the bathroom

Stranger: Oh you kinkie teen! ;) i turn on the complimentary blow dryer and blow it on your pussy

You: Ohhh Momma likey!! Me GUSTUH!

Stranger: Youre puss gets all dry yet the inside starts to become wetttt

Stranger: I pull out my swizz armie nife and then nife youre sweet teen vag

You: dude, ow. *roles with it* MEEEEEEEE LIKKKKEEEYYYYY!!! hmmmmmmmmmmm

Stranger: Takes out the niff and licks the come and blood ouffah it. *shoves hair dryer handel in your mouth, yeah you like that

You: Sucks

Stranger: Takes out dick and shoves it into mouth along with the niff. *cuts off toungue* yeaaa buddie! ;)

You: ….0.o…

Stranger: Throws u on deh bedd and fucks the living shittzz outtfah you.

You: Calm down..dude, its just omegle role playing..

Stranger: *yeah ik* fucks harder..oh babye imm gonstah COMEEE!! *comes* here puppy..

You: WTF? Im not a puppy -____________-

Stranger: Yes ik, i brought my puppy..whose in HEATS!

You: Omg..

Stranger: *positions puppie in your vag and then thrusts the dawg in your pussie* you likes?

Stranger: *sees that you are unconcious…*takes outtdah niffe and then slits your throat*

Stranger: continues to penetrate ur puss while the dawggie comes and knots in your pussie.

Stranger: *cuts off your tittays and then drinks the milk out of them…* YUMMIE~!@!!!!

Stranger: puts ALL my toes, finers, and tounge into your pussie. yehah you like that huh?

Stranger: Gets tired and then stops but the dawggiee continues to fuckk you

You: what..the..fuck..?

Stranger: poops on youre face and then makes you eats it and then puts your cutten ouffah tounge into your pussie.

Stranger: gets up and then pops popcorn and porn into VCR//continues to wank off the the puppie ass fucking you and the kiddy porn on my tellie

Stranger: 5 hours later..the dawg finally stopss fukking you and then the puppie sucks/chews on my 12inch dickk. falls aslep

Stranger: You still there babe?

You: you are sick bastard…

Stranger: wut? you wanted to be roleplayign

You: Have you ever been on omeglex.com?

Stranger: Yeah what about it? is some haliraious shit on there

You: Good bye. have fun seeing you on that website. you perverted sick twisted Casey anthony…

Stranger: fuck you

You: Looks like you already did..

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No Sex Donkey Punched

You: hello?

Stranger: hello

You: wanna just random chat. no sex or anything?

Stranger: yes

You: ok.

Stranger: ok then

You: so..

You: DONKEY PUNCH!

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Creeper Tamed :D

You: Can you be a person that doesn’t hang up on me randomly, please? Or those Masturbating weirdos….
Stranger: ……..
Stranger: m/f
You: F
Stranger: age
Stranger: im m
You: Ooooo.. 17
Stranger: yeaaaa im 21….. soooo srry but i cant be that person

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Sweet Mentoring Moments (Stranger is 11, I am 13)

Stranger: hi
You: Yola, Can you be a person that doesn’t hang up on me randomly, please? Or those Masturbating weirdos….
Stranger: Yesh.
Stranger: I can.
Stranger: ;D
You: YOU SAY YESH LIKE I DO!!
You: xD
Stranger: lol
Stranger: I was about to say: “hi. i am gunvir singh. i live in punjab. i am eating my curry.”
You: GOOD MORNING
Stranger: Thats what I said to everyone and they instantly disconnected! :P
Stranger: America.
Stranger: Omg
Stranger: do you hear that amy winehouse did
Stranger: died’8
Stranger: Died&
Stranger: Deid****
Stranger: Died********
You: Yeah..
You: Sad
Stranger: Oh.. I didnt know who she was..
Stranger: LOL.
You: I loved her voice.. she was only 6 years older than me.
Stranger: Oh em gee.
Stranger: Your 21?
Stranger: LMAO.
Stranger: Im 11.
You: Yeah…. xD But trust me. I’m not a pedo.
You: xDD Wow.. Okay, 21 is my fake age. I’m 13.. xD
Stranger: Ooo.
You: I’m scared of the pedophiles.. xD
Stranger: ARE YOU SURE.
Stranger: : O
You: Yes. I have recently shaved for the first time. xD
Stranger: Are you sure you didnt just change your age…
Stranger: CHILD PREDATOR
Stranger: JayKay.
Stranger: lol
You: I just say Jkay… But I’m gonna use that from now on. xd
Stranger: 0.0
Stranger: KayJay
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: that sounds cooler
You: Sounds like a name.
You: ()-()
Stranger: Katy Perries cat is called Kitty Purry.
You: I know. xD
You: Adrien…
Stranger: Lady GaGa thinks herself as a monster.
Stranger: Im not adrien.
Stranger: o.O
You: You remind me of my little buddy Adrien
You: xD
Stranger: ooo
Stranger: So, does middle school suck?
Stranger: I heard it does.
Stranger: I dont want to go.
You: I’m going to High School, dude.
Stranger: Um
Stranger: You said 13/
Stranger: And,
Stranger: Isnt that a middle school agee.
Stranger: age…*
Stranger: im typing to fast.
You: Yeah.. 14 in Decmeber.. over here you can decide if your child is older than everyone or younger than everyone in their grade.
You: It’s okay. xD
You: (My mom chose younger)
Stranger: ooo
You: Katy perry’s ON SNL performing California Gurls
Stranger: Thats cool
You: And Lady Gaga is called the Mother Monster
Stranger: I know that.
You: But, sorry.. Middle school
You: Umm
Stranger: PFFT WHO WOULDNT KNOW
Stranger: I follow Mother Monster on Twitter, and in her biography it states “Mother MonsTer”
Stranger: The T is capatalized for the cross.
Stranger: a.k.a, The Fame MonsTer.
Stranger:
You: I see.. xD
You: Calm down kid, I’m gonna tell you about middle schoo
You: l
Stranger: Okay.
Stranger: I already know the basics, “DONT HANGOUT WITH POPULAR KIDS, DONT TRY TO “FIT IN” etc.
Stranger: lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalallalalallallalalallalalalalalalalalal
You: Honestly, 6th grade and 8th grade were both pretty cool years, but 7th grade is the worst because that’s the year when you find out who your true friends are, and really sucked for me. Some people were jerks and I found out that some where using me.. So yeah. I even wanted to kill myself in 7th, but I realized that I’m better than that, and I found out I wanted to be a Youth Minister-Pediatrician with a degree in Musical Theater (I love Kids, Always wanted to be a doctor, Love Singing and Music in General, and Love Acting, and God and Jesus are my personal Saviors.)
Stranger: Ooo.
Stranger: My sister told me that she felt like an ugly duckling in Middle School and she grew up into the swan in High School. LOL xD
You: That’s a good description too. xD
You: ‘Cept I’m not a girl.
Stranger: Yesh.
Stranger: Indeed.
Stranger: .
Stranger: :
Stranger: Im bored.
You: xD Wanna know about shaving?
Stranger: o.o
Stranger: Nah, Im not interested in puberty.
Stranger: It sickens me actually.
Stranger: ..
You: When i was 11, I wanted to know.. I’m just gonna tell you how I felt.
You: xD
Stranger: Eh, ok.
Stranger: Wow, before you go, did you notice that the “strangers online” bar grows in the night instead of day.. Okay, so go on.
You: Okay, so.. I’m terrified of growing up, and when 20 of my friends told me I had to shave my super long sideburns, I got all terrified. So, I shaved for the first time Wednesday, I was excited and nervous.
Stranger: Lol.
You: It’s starting to come back in.. xD
Stranger: Humanity is strange.
You: Yesh. It is.
Stranger: Sometimes, I ask myself how everything was created. How god was created, who created god, who created everything.
Stranger: And.. theres no answer.
You: I did in 7th grade, then realized that God is half of who I am. xD If not, 110%
Stranger: oo.
Stranger: Well, I’m tired.
You: Awwww.. kay… you’re pretty amazing.
Stranger: Wait
You: Do you have a facebook?
You: xD
Stranger: Yesh.
Stranger: Facebook.com/bloofoo
Stranger: Add meh
You: Friend: Jamal Davis Neal, Jr. I’m black.
Stranger: Okay.
You: BYE!!!!!
Stranger: Bye!

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Who Wants To Be A Dollariaire?

Stranger: hey :D
You: WHAT IS PI
Stranger: NOTHING YOU?!
Stranger: ACTUALLY MY CEILING =)
You: WHAT ABOUT YOUR CEILING?
Stranger: IT’S UP!
Stranger: O-O
You: YAY!!!
You: SO WHAT IS PI
Stranger: GOOD BOOOOOOK
You: CORRECT!
Stranger: YAY!
You: YOU HAVE JUST WON 10 CENTS!
Stranger: Actually I have it but i haven’t started it yet
Stranger: WHAT IS HUNGER GAMES?
You: TO COLLECT, PLEASE PROCEED TO YOUR LOCAL ‘WHO WANTS TO BE A DOLLARIARE’ BRANCH
Stranger: HAHA I won a dime :D
You:
yup, and if you continue you stand to win a WHOLE DOLLAR!!!111!!
Stranger: ZOMG A FREAKING LOONIE
Stranger: okay i’ll continue!
You: QUESTION NUMBER 2
Stranger: OKAY
Stranger: -rubs hands together- IM READY!
You: THE CATEGORY IS: PHYSICS!
Stranger: ZOMG OKAY
You: HOW MANY G IS GRAVITY ON EARTH?
You: IS IT (A) 100 (B) 20 (C) 1 (D) 3
Stranger: o-o
Stranger: I have no idea
Stranger: Can i ask you a question? :D
You: you can use 50-50, ask one of my alter egos, or randomly guess!
Stranger: C
Stranger: haha idk
You: CORRECT!
You: *music plays*
You: YOU HAVE WON 5 MORE CENTS!
Stranger: YAY a nickle :D
Stranger: oops nickel*
Stranger: I shall name you Phillip
You: OK!
You: *clears throat*
You: HENCEFORTH, I SHALL BE PHILLIP THE ANNOUNCER
You: THE NEXT QUESTION HAS A CHOICE OF CATEGORIES:
Stranger: OKAY
You: ART
You: BIO
You: MATH
Stranger: CHEMISTRY?
You: NOPE
Stranger: BIO THEN
You: OK!
Stranger: =D
You: QUESTION NUMBER 3
Stranger: =D!!!
You: WHERE IS YOUR HEART?

IS IT (A) *points at me* (B) *points at ceiling* (C) *points at you* (D) *points to Pluto*
Stranger: C
You: AND THE ANSWER IS…
You:
You:
Stranger:
You: CORRECT!
Stranger: YAY!
You: *more music plays*
You: YOU NOW HAVE A GRAND TOTAL OF 25 CENTS!
Stranger: WOOOT QUARTER
You: NOW WE CUT FOR COMMERCIAL BREAK
Stranger: D’AWW
You: (becuase I’m running out of random ideas xD)
Stranger: HAHAHAHA :D
You: (hang on, pulling out more!)
Stranger: GOOOGLE!
Stranger: Otay
You: PHILLIP HAS RETURNED FROM COMMERCIAL BREAK!
Stranger: YAY!
You: *Dollariaire theme music plays*
Stranger: hahahhaa
You: *Phillip walks onto stage*
Stranger: =O
You: NOW WE HAVE…
You: PART TWO!
Stranger: DUN DUN DUN DAAA
You: THE QUESTIONS WILL BE INCREASED IN DIFFICULTY!
You: BUT!
Stranger: AHH
You: There will be… AN ACCOMPANYING REVIVAL QUESTION!
Stranger: AHH
Stranger: okay!
You: THE CONTESTANT MAY CHOOSE TO ANSWER THE REVIVAL QUESTION AND RE ENTER THE COMPETION AT A COST OF 5 CENTS!
You: *dramatic music plays*
Stranger: OKAY!!!
You: SO!
You: ROUND TWO, QUESTION NUMBER 1!
You: HOW DO YOU SPELL ‘Mongolia’? IS IT:

(A) MONGOLIA (B) MONGORIAH (C) MONKOREA (D) QWERTY
Stranger: A o-o
You: YOUR ANSWER IS…
You:
You: CORRECT!
Stranger: YAY

(And at this point, I think the other person accidentally pressed DC. Aw…)

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Prentending to be a girl

You: hi
Stranger: hi m 31
You: hi 28 f
Stranger: where you from
You: where u from
Stranger: canada
You: ur in luck
Stranger: what you wanna talk about
Stranger: are you still there
You: ya
You: i wanna talk some hot things u still interested
Stranger: yes go for it
Stranger: let you start honey
You: brb
Stranger: do you have big boob
You: medium ones
You: wat about u
Stranger: like that
Stranger: ive got 8 inch cock just for you
You: brb
Stranger: what that
Stranger: you like hard sex baby
Stranger: are you rubbing yourself
You: ya real hard
You: how long u can handle me f
Stranger: very long time why
You: i don’t like guy goes before i get start
Stranger: dont worry
Stranger: describe me what your doing now
Stranger: you like anal
You: gotcha big time man you are a pervert
Stranger: yes like you its seem
You: lmao

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