Archive for July, 2012

Wrong restaurant

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: welcome to burger king, can i take your order?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i want taco bell
You: im sorry a “taco bell” is not on the menu. can i take your order?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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EXPLOSION – The Game

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hey
You: Welcome to the pizza ordering line.
You: For margarita, press 1
You: For calzone, press 2
Stranger: can u send it by air?
You: For explosion, press 3
Stranger: 1
You: You have chosen “Margarita”
You: Unfortunately this item is sold out.
Stranger: yep.
Stranger: – -!
You: Please make another choice.
Stranger: what do you have?
You: For margarita, press 1
For calzone, press 2
For explosion, press 3
Stranger: Let me guess….nothing left,ha?
Stranger: 2
You: This item is temporarily sold out.
Stranger: DOn’t tell me sold out!
Stranger: – -!!!!!
You: Please make another choice.
Stranger: 3
You: *EXPLODES*
You: Boom!
Stranger: …………………………………..
You: You get severely injured.
Stranger: pitypity…
You: To get to a hospital, press 1.
You: To just go and lie there on the ground, press 2.
Stranger: u will send me to hospital.won’t u?
Stranger: 3
You: Incorrect choice.
You: Please try again.
Stranger: – -!
Stranger: 1
Stranger: but no car…- -!
You: The ambulance arrives.
Stranger: awesome.
You: To get in the ambulance, press 1.
Stranger: 1
You: You get in the ambulance.
Stranger: then ?
You: The ambulance takes you to the hospital.
You: It arrives.
Stranger: sounds great
You: To get a single room in the hospital, press 1.
To get a double room, press 2.
Stranger: er….
Stranger: both ok…
You: Incorrect choice.
Please try again.
Stranger: 2
You: The doctors lay you on a soft bed in the double room.
You: Next to you, in the other bed lies another patient.
You: To talk to the patient, press 1.
Stranger: a beautiful lady?
You: For an examination of the patient, press 2.
Stranger: 1
You: You can now talk to the patient.
Stranger: how old is the patient…
You: Omg, that looks serious.
You: All those wounds!
You: Where’d you get them from?
Stranger: from a pizza.- -!
You: What?!
You: Those damn pizza’s.
Stranger: A PIZZA!!!!
You: This is why I always order chinese food.
Stranger: ……- -!aren’t u the cook?…
You: *The doctor enters and walks to the other patient*
You: So, Monica, how are we feeling today?
Stranger: then ?
You: Just fine, thanks!
You: *The doctor turns towards you*
You: And you, Willis?
You: How are your wounds healing?
Stranger: – -!
You: To tell the doctor to stfu, press 1.
You: To answer appropriately, press 2.
Stranger: I2
Stranger: 2
You: You can answer the doctor now.
Stranger: I don’t feel well
You: Oh, that’s bad..
You: I’ll give you this one-of-a-kind pill.
You: You’ll feel better soon!
Stranger: I want two kinds…
Stranger: I need more…..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: *The doctor produces a pill from his lab coat and hands it over*
You: To take the pill, press 1.
You: To ask for more, press 2.
Stranger: 2
You: To get 50 pills, press 1.
To get 100 pills, press 2.
To get, 150 pills, press 3.
Stranger: 3
Stranger: wow~
You: The doctor leaves the room and comes back with a huge bag.
You: Here you go! 150 pills!
You: Knock yourself out!
You: To obsessively start taking the pills, press 1.
You: To just take one, press 2.
Stranger: 2
You: You take one pill.
You: Immidiately you start feeling better.
Stranger: others will be given to Monica..
You: “Why, thank you!”
You: Monica smiles with a beautiful smile.
Stranger: “u’re welcome~”
You: “That’s so sweet of you!”
You: From the outside you hear a noise.
Stranger: the noise?
You: Through the small window in your room, you see a meteor coming towards the hospital!
You: To save Monica and get your ass out of the hospital, press 1.
You: To just save yourself, press 2.
Stranger: 1
You: To just lie there and die, press 3.
You: Nervously, you stand up.
You: Your legs are barely holding.
You: You take Monica’s hand and pull her out of the bed.
You: You start running like hell.
You: Just before the meteor arrives, you get out of the hospital.
Stranger: well done..
You: The following explosion does not have effect on the two of you.
You: BOOM!
You: You and Monica live happily ever after.
You: Congratulations, you won!
Stranger: happy ending,ha
You: NEW HIGHSCORE!!!
You: Please enter your name.
Stranger: Arther.
Stranger: Or Mike Or Ben Or Tom Or Jack…whatever….:-)
You: EXPLOSION – THE GAME: HIGHSCORE LIST
——————————————————–
1. Arther: 1054829 pts
2. Matt: 28266 pts
3. Katie: 6338 pts
You: Thank you for playing.
Stranger: 1054829?
You: Yes, you’ve done a great job.
Stranger: well .what’s this test for?
You: Hahaha XD
You: Idk..
You: Just for fun. XD
You: So, my name’s David.
You: And I hope you enjoyed playing this game. ;)
Stranger: yes.I am .
You: If you don’t mind, I’m gonna save this log and post it to a omegle conversation website. XD
You: This was fun!
Stranger: go ahead.
Stranger: of course i don’t mind.
You: Suggestions for future versions of the game?
Stranger: let me think.
Stranger: maybe police will come…and take both of them….
You: K.
You: Well, I have to go now!
You: But thanks for your participation!
You: :D
Stranger: you’re welcome
Stranger: Bye~

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Rating: 10.0/10 (3 votes cast)

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Wow you suck at this.

Stranger: =D
You: What you smiling about Bill?
Stranger: Im not bill.
You: Oh
You: Ok Dutch
Stranger: Sorry, not ducth.
You: I always get confused its alright Harry
Stranger: Still wrong. keep guessing.
You: Look Dave im not gonna keep guessing if i just said ur name
Stranger: Well your not saying MY name. your saying someone elses name.
You: Look STEVE that is your name ok
Stranger: Nope.
You: Gordon just chill ok
Stranger: You suck at this. You know that right?
You: Andy there is no need to insult me
Stranger: Still wrong.
You: Lewis i have never been wrong
Stranger: XD That’s condisending.
You: Alright Julia thats good to hear
Stranger: Wow you suck at this.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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My hippo can beat up your liger

Stranger: hey
You: What’s your favorite color?
Stranger: urmmmmm
You: That’s not a color
Stranger: we spell it colour in england
You: Oh
You: What’s your favourite colour?
You: That better?
Stranger: blue?
You: ok
Stranger: that’s not something i think about
You: What’s your favourite animal?
Stranger: liger
You: why?
Stranger: its a mix between a lion and a tiger
You: yeah
Stranger: it’s awesome
You: but they can’t have their own babies
Stranger: so, jesus didn’t have kids
You: sure he did
Stranger: da vinci code?!
You: no…
You: I didn’t see that movie
Stranger: it was a book first
You: it was?
You: I mostly read about hippos
You: I like hippos
Stranger: wow, that’s intense shit
You: You don’t like hippos?
Stranger: i am impartial
You: ok
Stranger: i don’t really give a darn
You: Well, hippos are cool
Stranger: ok then
You have disconnected.

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for the mudkipz

Stranger: Hello.
You: if I was in your room right now what would you do
Stranger: Shoot you.
You: what if you didn’t have a gun?
Stranger: Stab you.
You: what if you had no arms or legs?
Stranger: Bite you.
You: that’s hot
Stranger: Why are you invading my house, anyway?
You: i heard you have mudkipz
Stranger: I see. I lack those.
You: do you have candy?
Stranger: I have brandy.
You: close enough,i’ll let you bite me and i’ll tie your torso to the bed and drink all your brandy
Stranger: Alright, sounds like a date.
You: 9 months later i’ll have your half-body child
Stranger: Wait, it’s genetic now?
You: yes
You: you have to pay child support in mudkipz
Stranger: Why would I have those? I have no job. Who hires cripples?
You: you can be a sex slave in China
You: or even Mexico
Stranger: That’s always an option.
Stranger: Except who sleeps with cripples?
You: well i did evidently
Stranger: Yes, but your a diagnosed psychopath.
Stranger: You did it for the perverse sexual thrill.
You: AND THE MUDKIPZ
Stranger: Yes, that’s another one of your delusions.
You: it’s your fault
You: you love my disorder more than me!
Stranger: Well, it is a rather sexy disorder.
Stranger: Your urge to kill is my aphrodisiac.
You: you’re the one who wanted to shoot me
Stranger: Yes, but you were in my home.
You: they’ll lock us both up only i get a padded room!
Stranger: Padded room? Hah! Maybe in your lala land. The crazies get locked up all the same!
Stranger: Ever since that man the tried to kill reagan got off on a crazy plea.
You: YOURE JUST JEALOUS ILL GET ALL THE MUDKIPZ WHILE YOUR ANUS IS SAGGING ON THE FLOOR FROM RAPE!
Stranger: That’s a rather disturbing mental image.
You: youre welcome
Stranger: Would my anus be like an elephant’s trunk?
You: yes except you can’t eat with it
You: …or can you
Stranger: I can pick up things with it.
You: thats hot
Stranger: You certainly get hot rather easily.
You: nah just horny
Stranger: Hire a hooker.
You: they don’t make them cripple size
Stranger: Oh, they make them any size.
You: you would know
Stranger: They’ll cripple ‘em for ya?
Stranger: !
You have disconnected.

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Rating: 7.0/10 (5 votes cast)

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Don’t make outies like that anymore…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Sexy hermaphrodite looking for hot bellybutton sex while roleplaying as a slightly overweight Polynesian actress pleasuring a bearded director with a bad case of raging oral herpes to obtain a lead role in his next movie about a vampire-werewolf with a PhD in Freudian Psychosexual Development. ;)
You: Interested?
You: Hmm?
Stranger: yeah sure
Stranger: So who do u want me to be
You: The director. Go!
You: Oh Johnny, how do you get such raging oral herpes?
Stranger: I went to a bad party back in med school
Stranger: The Nurses weren’t so innocent back then
You: Oh yeah? I’ll bet your mouth was full of yeasty nurse-vagina.
Stranger: That day it was quiet foggy i couldn’t remember much after. I only remembered that i ate some nice big liped vagina and i woke up pants down in the cafeteria of the hospital pants down with a nurse with no top on and i
Stranger: had morning wood the size of a logg
Stranger: But now Jessica what was this you were asking me about being the main star in my new film.
You: Well Johnny, you know that my body could pull off a vampire-werewolf, and- Oh my bellybutton – and I know that Freud had all kinds of fantastic theories on the sexual urges of the human mind.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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A Request

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: I want to chat about sex:)
You: wait one moment please. I must process the request.
Stranger: m/f
Stranger: ?
You: oh. Do you mean: ‘SEX’?
Stranger: m/f?
You: Sex.(n) biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism.

An organism’s sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Fictional Characters

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: *holds up knife
You: Wanna buy a pair of … socks?
Stranger: no. nubers are evil
Stranger: numbers
You: Oh..I see how it is..
Stranger: count in clovers
You: ITS BECAUSE YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE
Stranger: Sterangers you don”t know are spies
Stranger: Kill them all
Stranger: Delete the last message for legal reasons
You: Well now, I never mentioned murder in all fairness..
Stranger: Goldfish don’t like milk
You: As if thats a fact?
You: coming from a mad who feels socks.
You: *man
Stranger: Do not introduce yourself as a role playing character in public
You: Are you calling me a faggot?
You: because if you are…
Stranger: Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
Stranger: Do not go in puvlic
Stranger: public*
You: And why not?
You: mickey mouse does it for a living. fact.
Stranger: Because you cannot kill the snow
Stranger: It can kill you
Stranger: So can gras
Stranger: grass*
You: And i am not denying that, my love.
Stranger: Don’t die alone. Take many people with you.
Stranger: Just not me
You: *strokes face
Stranger: Only talk to strangers you know.
You: Would you like to stroke my … spoon?
Stranger: Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
Stranger: Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
You: The early bird catches the flu.
Stranger: Make a large sign saying, “Look at me, I’m a gumnut tree.”
You: A crocadile cannot lift its tongue out of its mouth.
Stranger: never pet a burning dog
You: DING DONG
You: So are you gonna let me in or what?
You: Come on.. its cold out here..
Stranger: Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats little children.
Stranger: Learn to fly. Tell no one.

The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
You: Did you just call Santa fat? YOU SON OF A BITCH
Stranger: Teachers don’t like finding notes on world domination.
You: Alright alright you’ve out done me in weirdness…
Stranger: I win!
Stranger: Haha!!!
You: Its hard ti imagine your a real human.. :O
You: *to
Stranger: i’m a kangaroo
You: Yes you win.. *awards with medal
Stranger: *note sarcasm
Stranger: YES!!!I’ve been training for so long!!!
You: So, do you do this for a living? you seem proffessional.
You: *looks at watch
Stranger: Why thank you. Don’t forget to stock up on ball point pens
Stranger: And clocks
Stranger: Better than watches
You: *takes off mask
Stranger: Holy crap!!
Stranger: It’s Senor Diablo!
You: PUSS
You: in boots.
Stranger: Oh yay! What brand!
Stranger: ??
You: Dolche and gabbana
You: finni and adonna
Stranger: Lovlay!
You: kieren got me wearin all that money got me wearin fly
Stranger: pish posh!
You: Black Eyed Pea’s?
You: Fergy ferg?
Stranger: Btw
Stranger: Gullible is written on the ceiiling

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

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