Archive for October, 2012

Zombie Apocalypse

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello there
Stranger: What is op?
You: honestly i’m not sure :/
You: we should look into that
Stranger: Well, at least your not a zombie.
Stranger: Quick, we need to get to a safehouse.
Stranger: I only have one bullet left and these things are everywhere
You: I don’t run from zombies son :P
You: i have a group headed this way that will give you ammo
Stranger: Will they respond to “What is OP?”
You: the same way it did
Stranger: Dam
Stranger: I still have yet to run into my brothers then.
You: now how far is this safe house of urs? we can use a home base
You: we can help ya
Stranger: Go 2 miles south of here, over a hill you will see a fenced off base of sorts. Go to the gate and ask for Anon. He’s the CO of the brotherhood in this area.
Stranger: I have to continue looking for survivors. God speed my good man.
Stranger: Stay safe.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Rating: 7.8/10 (4 votes cast)

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Straight Guy Catching a Drag Queen

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: Hi
You: f?
Stranger: Ya
Stranger: Age
You: m 21
You: wbu
Stranger: F 34
You: from?
Stranger: Boston
You: Mumbai
Stranger: Nice
You: where is boston?
Stranger: Us
You: ok
You: i thought ion canada
Stranger: Clode
Stranger: Close
Stranger: Do you have a big pen
You: yes
You: y u asked
Stranger: Really I’m so horrrr-nieeee
Stranger: My brother has a big pen
You: ok
You: so?
You: ur brother ewww
You: u black?
Stranger: We share a room so we see each other changing every day
Stranger: Ya
You: ok
Stranger: Plus I see hi
Stranger: Him yerking off all the time
You: ur english seems non american
Stranger: Idk
Stranger: I guess
You: and what do you do?
Stranger: When I see him changing
Stranger: ?
You: ya
Stranger: Idk I just look
You: you have no BFs?
Stranger: No
You: why?
Stranger: Idk
You: and he has GF?
Stranger: No
You: lol
Stranger: Haga
You: so tell me
Stranger: Tell you what
You: about your horny-ness
Stranger: I’m so horned
You: like a rhino?
Stranger: I guess
Stranger: This one time
You: grrrr screaming and stuff
Stranger: He thought I was asleep
Stranger: And he started yerking off in his bed
Stranger: And I was warching
You: hmm
Stranger: And he came up to me and put his pen all over my face
You: awwwwww
You: it must be quite an experience for you
You: are you a virgin?
Stranger: Ya
Stranger: No
Stranger: Then he put it in and out of my moiyh
Stranger: Mouth
Stranger: And came all over my
Stranger: Face
You: let me guess the pastor from the church took your virginity?
Stranger: No
Stranger: ?
You: salior at navy?
Stranger: No
You: band camp kid?
Stranger: No
You: lemme guess
You: dont tell ok
Stranger: Ok
You: bartender sugar daddy
Stranger: No
You: pool guy jose
Stranger: No
You: gay math teacher?
Stranger: No
You: your best friend in rugby team when u both were drunk?
Stranger: No
You: im out
You: u tell
Stranger: Family friend
Stranger: Babysitting
You: he was babysitting you?
Stranger: Ya
You: and he liked boys only?
Stranger: I guess
You: por you
Stranger: I didn’t know
You: poor you
You: so wats ur name ?
Stranger: John
You: poor guy
Stranger: Ya
You: you do this on net regularly/
Stranger: Kinda
You: u like to be woman on net?
Stranger: Idk kinda
You: any way good luck john..why dont you tell ur gay and want partner?
Stranger: Idk
You: then u can avoid straight guys like me making fun of you
Stranger: I dont car
You: ok bbye
Stranger: My babysitter spilled hely on y jeans
Stranger: And tried to rub it lit
Stranger: Out
Stranger: And I got hard
You: oh cant take this anymore bye
You have disconnected.

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Rating: 10.0/10 (2 votes cast)

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What’s with this guy

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: *shoves cookie in your mouth*
You: not agin
You: again
Stranger: :P
You: :8
Stranger: YES! :D
Stranger: *cookiecrumbs in your mouth*
You: still would be the best thing to happen all day
Stranger: Really?
You: maybe
Stranger: Either you had a bad day or you really like sea man.
Stranger: So, who is this? I’ve talked to so many peopleon here.
Stranger: *people
You: the one who tells silly stories
Stranger: Hmm… I don’t remember any silly stories from today.
Stranger: Sure you talked to me before?
You: no I didn’t
Stranger: Ahhhh
Stranger: lol
Stranger: Well, what’s your name and how are you? :P
Stranger: I’m Cody.
You: ಠ_ಠ
Stranger: What?
You: want to hear the story
Stranger: Hmm…
Stranger: Can you tell it with my big cookie in your mouth? Because if so, then yes.
You: if you insist
Stranger: :D
You: *gagging noises*
Stranger: AUCH YA!! AUCH YA!! :D
Stranger: I think I’m in love.
You: When I was a baby,
You: I lived in a pile of trash.
You: With a female kangaroo,
You: then one day the pile went smash.
You: Then the kangaroo popped out,
You: and looked around the region,
You: and then she turned to me and said,
You: “Go, you have displeased me for no reason.”
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Rating: 8.3/10 (3 votes cast)

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Mario Kart

Question to discuss:
Mr. Mario your kart is ready
You: Excellent work, Shroomie
You: Now let us engage in jolly motorsports
Stranger: Shall I invite your arch enemy Bowser for a round?
You: Indubitably, my good butler
You: As always, we shall settle our differences like gentlemen
Stranger: You truly are benevolent, Master.
You: I strive to be a proper protagonist. Take the rest of the day off, Shroomie, I’ll see that you get a nice Christmas bonus for the wife and kids
Stranger: Thank you master, I hope you have a good Christmas as well
Stranger 1 has disconnected

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Rating: 4.8/10 (4 votes cast)

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Teaching Indians English

You: you english is not good, do you study it?

Stranger: ya i know my english is littel poor…….

You: Correction: Yes, I i admit my English is absolutely horrible.

Stranger: really?

You: yes

Stranger: thats ok

You: For example you said: u r looking beautiful

You want to say: Your looks are quite atrocious.

You: it is better.

Stranger: hmmmmm

Stranger: thnx for advise

You: Thank you, how do I look?

Stranger: quit atrocious…

You: Thank you so much!

You: If you tell girls that on here they will like you alot.

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Rating: 7.3/10 (4 votes cast)

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THE EXPLOSION GAME

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: Hey
Stranger: Asl?
You: want to play THE EXPLOSION GAME
Stranger: Lol sure
You: Welcome to the burger line.
You: for a burger press 1.
You: for a wine press 2
Stranger: FUCK NO
You: for a explosion press
You: 3
Stranger: 69
Stranger: :)
You: *Error Invalid Choice*
Stranger: MY CHOICE IS NOT INVALID
You: *Error Invalid Choice*
Stranger: 1
You: You chose “Burger”
You: Sorry we are sold out.
Stranger: No
Stranger: 4
You: *Error Invalid Choice*
Stranger: 1.5
You: *Error Invalid Choice*
Stranger: *error invalid choice*
Stranger: 2
You: You chose “Wine”
You: Sorry we are sold out.
You: Please choose another.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Rating: 10.0/10 (2 votes cast)

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