Archive for November, 2012

Guess He Didn’t Like Fruitcake

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: 16m
You: 16 meters??
You: of what?
You: fruitcake!
You: 16 m of fruitcake!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Sexy partner ;)

You: k so we need to come up with names. wats ur name I can bee anything!
Stranger: How about i’m Jenice and u r?
You: Kyle lol its my actual name
Stranger: ohh
Stranger: Hi, Kyle =)
You: im about 5’11 tan bllk hair brown eyes :D
Stranger: then, continue with your role playing story
You: ok then. its pitch black! and i knock on your window
You: Jenice Jenice i shout your name!
Stranger: then i asked, Kyle, is that u?
You: yea it is i say. You wana let me in!
Stranger: i opened the window
You: I come in! im all soaked from the rain outside!
You: i as you are you okay? you are kinda frighten?
Stranger: then i asked, what happen?
You: i say i jus wanted to see you
Stranger: why do u want to see me? anything happen?, i said
You: Cause i jus do.. i stare… you look so beautiful i say
Stranger: i say, ohh, really?
You: yes very and i approach you.
Stranger: u wanna do something? since u r in my room
You: well since you asked… and i put my arms around and embrace you.
Stranger: then i asked, what r u going to do?
You: then i said dont say another word. and i kissed you
Stranger: and i kissed u back passionately
You: and i held you closerr . and we both walked toward the bed
You: and sat down
Stranger: oh, Kyle, what made u to be so brave?
You: man need to be brave to have a girl l as beautiful as you.
You: i kiss you again and we both all on the bed
You: i hold your arms
You: fall*
Stranger: and i said, Kyle, just do your thing
You: i ask u how do you feel? you want it?
Stranger: i’m feeling very cold and i want u to hold me closer
You: i got you baby. i hold you closer i take off my shirt. and kiss hungrily
You: you*
Stranger: *paused*, whose shirt are u taking off now?
You: my shit not yous yet.
Stranger: haha, ok, *continue*
You: well i take off my shirt. and hold you even tighter
Stranger: and i caress your six packed body
You: i cant hold back i want you. i take off your shirt.
You: i see you luscious Brests
You: in your bra
You: i squeeze my body on them
Stranger: and i helped to take off your pants
You: yea i have my dick out its hard
You: and im like baby make me feel good
Stranger: then u take off my skirts and lavender scented panties
You: i start licking you
You: you start to moan
Stranger: ohh, Kyle, give me more
You: ohh jenice your soo wet. i start to lick you in the cilt
You: clit*
Stranger: and i began to moan louder
You: say my name baby i say. and i put my tounge in you vag
Stranger: oh, KYLE!! i want you!! Kyle
You: i keep licking! you moan really loudly. its sooo wet! i stand up in front of you. i think your turn baby,
You: Make me feel amazing
You: only you can
You: its*
Stranger: i crawl slowly toward u and hold your hand
Stranger: i lead your hand to touch my body
You: pause* ok at this point your suppose to give me a bj
Stranger: i let u lead the way
You: ok then…
You: * continue
You: i hold you head bring it closer to my big cock
You: and you start to lick it
Stranger: and suck it
You: ahh baby ur soo good
You: i love you
You: comee on i want more
Stranger: and i give u more
You: i move it in and out and you keep sucking
You: i gab your head
Stranger: and?
You: well you ned to do your role :/
You: too
Stranger: haha, ok ok
Stranger: *continue*
Stranger: and i said this is enough, we gonna do something more thrilling
You: i cant wait any more. i get on the bed. I really want to. i start kissing you
You: your pussy styll wet
You: i say can i put it in
Stranger: and i said just fcuk me babe
You: i stick it in slowly
You: you moann
You: i start going faster
Stranger: and i keep moaning and calling your name
You: andi love it i go faster
You: i start to kiss you
Stranger: and we are going up and down
You: i start licking your hard niples
Stranger: and i whisper in your ear, saying, Kyle, u r a natural, keep on fcuking me, don’t stop
You: thx baby i say. i go in fast and hard
You: you start to moan
You: i slow down. turned you around.
You: i start doing you from the back
You: i coress you ass
Stranger: u put it in and i lean back to french kiss u
You: i kiss you back!
You: and i start going in harder
Stranger: more harder and the bed started to shake
You: ahh yea i go faster
You: you start to moan
You: I fucking love you
You: i say
Stranger: and i said i love u more, give me all u have
You: Ahh i give it i give it all
You: i cant hold it back any longer i say
You: Cum with me baby i say
Stranger: i’ll follow u
You: i give it one more
You: and i start to cum
Stranger: i’m having high orgasm, do it
You: i go faster. ahh im cumming
You: so hard
You: your pussy felt so tight
Stranger: and u like the feeling of tightness
You: i love it baby!
You: all i jus wana do you all night
Stranger: i’m all yours, baby
You: i squeeze your breasts
You: and play with you niples
Stranger: i ask u to lick them
You: and i do i like then all around
You: jus how you like it
You: your breasts are so soft
Stranger: and i play with ur long hard dick
You: i feel like going for it again i say
Stranger: and i said, i feel the same too
You: you decide how do y wana do it hun what ever you say
Stranger: u pushed me against the wall
Stranger: and fcuked me hard and deep
You: OHH yea you like tht eh! I Go fast! nice and deep ! my big hard cock penetrating your tight pussy
You: I love it!
Stranger: and i say, i know u can do it better, give me your best
You: Ph yea you asked for it baby! I go even harder Im sweating
You: and panting
Stranger: we are sweating and panting and have high orgasm
Stranger: and we become hotter and hotter
You: Ohhh But we styll going at it harrd!
Stranger: real hard
You: And even harder! Starting to come to climax!
Stranger: come on, babe, give me, give me, give
Stranger: ne
Stranger: *me
You: I kno you like my big cock! Yea baby Im giving it! HARRDD!!
You: OH MAN! I CANT HOLD IT BACK!
Stranger: me neither
Stranger: i moan louder and sexier
You: I give a final hard heavy thrust!
You: MY stuff fills your vigina
Stranger: i say, don’t stop
You: I keep going! Faster then ever! i say I love you baby
Stranger: u going in and out
Stranger: and i say i love u, Kyle, be mine
You: I love you too! I fo the fastest i have gone! you start to scream! Now i really cant hold it back!
You: I have to let it out!
Stranger: and u carried me to the bed
You: and i asked you how was that
Stranger: and i say, that’s the best sex that i ever had
You: Yea that how i do it!
You: i kiss you in the forehead
Stranger: and slowly down my lips
You: I cuddle you in my arms.
Stranger: and whisper to me saying how amazing i am
You: and that i love you.
Stranger: u caress my hair and we both slept
You: in each others arms…
You: ummm
You: sounds like the end.
Stranger: haha
You: haha so how was tht
Stranger: kinda fun
Stranger: haha
Stranger: how about u?
You: Yea of course
Stranger: anyway i got to go now
You: ahahaa ok well
You: bye stranger
You: nice talkin to u
Stranger: haha, ok
Stranger: same her
Stranger: *here
Stranger: bye stranger

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Rating: 7.1/10 (62 votes cast)

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Yellow BRick Road

Omegle conversation log 2011-03-20
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hey wanna txt me? F 16 from cali
Stranger: Hey my grandma lives there!
You: cool mine too :)
Stranger: :D Same one maybe? o.o Long lost sister/cousin!
You: hahah anuything s possible
You: *anything
Stranger: yep. Including me being a magical fairy from the land of happiness
You: whoa! no way ive always wanted to go there :O
Stranger: oh my gosh! All you have to do is follow the yellow brick road!
Stranger: Join me my sister!
Stranger: or cousin
You: i will! but who will feed my hamster?
Stranger: I shall send my leprauchuan minion! He has much experience in taking care of small animals
Stranger: though he may eat your hamster
You: oo ok kool
You: thats fine ill just get another one :)
Stranger: oh noes! Your hamster wasn’t to happy about that and has recruited an army to fight against us!
Stranger: We will need a baseball bat, a cat, and 3 tons of hamster food.
You: oo shit! i knew that basterd would stab me in the back one day! i realized it when he bit my finger one day! well he can BRING IT ON!
Stranger: oh yeah!
Stranger: I shall send the cats to attack! EAT THEM MY LOVELIES! THEY DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE!
You: OFF with theier HEADS~!!
You: be carefull tho.. they are kinda of fiesty..
Stranger: ha! their feeble claws and tiny frame are no match for our pow-AAAGH! IT’S GOT MY FINGER! GET IT OFFFFFFF!
You: OMG!! i told you flik it off! hurry.. i know ill kick it in its tiny nutsack!
You: Takethat!
Stranger: Haha! Thank you my sister/cousin! They shall cringe in fear and pain before us!
You: No thank you! and yes i hope its true.
Stranger: It is! See as they flee before our might! We have won, and shall now rejoice in the land of happiness!
Stranger: Thank you for joining me in the fight against hamster kind sister/cousin!
You: thank you for letting me in your magical quest :)
You: only promblem is now i have to tell my mom bob(evil hamster) is gone..humm??
Stranger: hmmmm… that is a conundrum… do you have as cat?
Stranger: a*
You: no but my neighbor is an old cat lady! perfect!!
Stranger: Tell your mom your neighbor always had a grudge against you, and sent one of her cats to capture and devoure Bob!
Stranger: It’s flawless!
You: yes yes yes its brilliant!
You: thts what i told her when i flushed my fish..
You: thats her cat, balls went to my room and ate poor dog(my fish)
Stranger: (lol at the irony) Pure genius! Perhaps next we should take down the evil cat lady and save the rest of small animalkind!
You: yes we should! lets do this!!
You: Wait no!! stop!!
Stranger: What? what is it?
You: SHe Makes us BOMB ASS Brownies :( she can go!!
You have disconnected.

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a wise tiger once told me… :)

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hi.
You: what do tigers dream of?

Stranger: Well, just a good thing you chanced upon me.
Stranger: You see, I happen to be a tiger.
Stranger: And I know for a FACT that we dream of…
You: ah :)
You: bring out ur tiger knoledge and enlighten me with ur dreams
Stranger: … UPVC Window Sealants.
Stranger: Yeah I know…
Stranger: Not particularly “tigerish”…
Stranger: I imagine you thought it would be
You: i did lol what a surprise!
Stranger: more along the lines of free roaming in the African Savanna… the hot orange breeze brushing past our fur to the sweet sound of nature’s symphony
Stranger: But it’s actually UPVC Window Sealants.
You: what makes u think of such things mr tiger?
Stranger: Well, this economic downturn has been real tough on us in the african subcontinent.
You: oh i see what u mean
You: must be hard
Stranger: The goods are becoming an ever higher scarcity and you… with diminishing returns and all anyway
Stranger: Exactly.
Stranger: A lot of outsourcing’s been taking place this last decade too. You can’t find the prey anywhere nowadays.
Stranger: They’re all in abattoirs.
You: so is UPVC window sealants what all animals are dreamin of or is it just tigers
Stranger: Time being, it’s very much tigers.
Stranger: A lot of us are falling back on construction… picking up DIY here and there hoping to pick up some skills other than…
Stranger: you know
Stranger: the whole hunting antelope thing
Stranger: Don’t get me wrong.
You: oh well thats amazing :)
Stranger: I still have my dreams.
You: u must have good knowledge of the world u in
You: many animals have not a clue
Stranger: I still dream about roaming the plains, though!
Stranger: Yeah, a lot of the animals seem to either know
Stranger: or just don’t care
Stranger: I mean
Stranger: The other day I was trying to talk to a hyena about it all
Stranger: He just laughed in my face.
You: oh how rude!!
Stranger: Very.
You: shocking how some are so rude thse days
Stranger: Exactly.
Stranger: I’ve been told they used to be…
Stranger: Actually, I have no idea what they used to be.
Stranger: On a related note
You: haha :)
You: yes?
Stranger: Do you know what came first, the chicken or the egg?
You: i rate the chicken cause otherwise what would look after the egg,to make sure it hatches
Stranger: Yeah well, if you know anyone who knows for certain
Stranger: tell me will ya?
Stranger: I’ve got twenty bucks riding on this
You: i was told the chicken by a wise rabbi
Stranger: I thought egg, cause it would come from the chicken’s evolutionary ancestors
Stranger: ah, that explains it
Stranger: The rabbi is probably a creationist.
Stranger: Let me tell you.
Stranger: That flood thing?
Stranger: Never happened.
Stranger: Anyway, I got to go
You: definatly never happened but…
Stranger: I asked the elephants.
Stranger: They remember everything, boy…
You: the stories created always have morals and they can guide u through life as to being a good person
You: haha
Stranger: Not good for the tiger though
Stranger: We just get killed at will by humans!
Stranger: ciao, humanoid
You: some humans like myself are trying to protect u
You: farewell wise tiger :)
Stranger: ciao
You: thank you for sharing ur thoughts
Stranger: remember to get any drafts round windows checked
You: ill look out for them
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or send us feedback

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Glee – Omegle Style :D

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hey, this is Kurt! Are you Finn H. ?
You: hey
You: hey man, this is finn!
Stranger: =D
Stranger: Hey! :)
You: how’s dalton academy?
Stranger: It’s great! :)
Stranger: I miss you guys, though, to be honest :(

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Rating: 7.7/10 (7 votes cast)

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Racism’s stupid

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hey
You: Oh, yeah. The Stifmeister’s coming back to Grand Harbor. Deck the halls. Bye-bye, Great Falls. Wipe my ass and lick my balls. It’s Stifler time, baby. Whoo-hoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo-hoo.
Stranger: N*gger.
You: N*ggers are black, moron.
Stranger: Everyone in Africa is a n*gger, fagle.
You: Not everyone you retard… wow you really are stupid! xD
Stranger: No, everyone in Africa lives in mud huts, are poor, and are n*ggers. It’s a fact.
You: No, it isn’t… the only fact here is that you’re an ignorant racist who needs to grow up and get a life.
Stranger: I am lving right now, therefore I have a life.
You: A pretty shit one if you’re a racist, I hope you get jumped and killed by a bunch of black people.
Stranger: Even you know that’s all n*ggers do, jump and kill people.
You: Yes… obviously! Mr. T. and Barack Obama spend all their time killing people… grow up spaz.
Stranger: Mr. T is a black man, not a n*gger. Barack, he’s a stupid n*gger but for a stupid country, so they get what they deserve.
You: You have a pretty skewed vision of what a n*gger is, still you are a retard, so it would be difficult for you to distinguish.
Stranger: There’s a difference between a n*gger and a black man, sir. Don’t be so ignorant.
You: So, a black guy who becomes a murderer is a n*gger? A black guy is a black guy, no matter what he does.
Stranger: Let me clear this up for you… Will Smith: black guy, 50 Cent: n*gger. Do you understand?
You: Why does 50 Cent deserve to be called a n*gger?
Stranger: Why shouldn’t he be? He has a “job” as a raper.
You: So does eminem.
Stranger: Eminem is white.
Stranger: It’s like talking to a three year old…christ
You: Yeah, I’m talking to someone who thinks all African people live in mud huts, who’s the three year old? Black people, or whatever you refer to them as, they can do whatever they want. No matter what your opinion is, things will never change.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Miley Cyrus!!?!?

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like Demi Lovato.
Stranger: miley cyrus?
Stranger: :O
Stranger: what r u doing here?
You: no…
Stranger: G TELL PEOPLE
Stranger: GO*
Stranger: YOU CANT BE TAMED
Stranger: CANT BE TAMED
Stranger: CANT CANT CANT
Stranger: be tamed!
Stranger: :D
You: ok.
Stranger: fine fine im sorry
Stranger: i called u miley
Stranger: Jay z
Stranger: so whats up?
Stranger: new album anytime soon
Stranger: ?
Stranger: maybe u should try country instead of rap
Stranger: black country artist
Stranger: :D
You: you’re quite entertaining.
Stranger: yayy!!!
Stranger: thank u thank u
Stranger: I am a lucky stone in the woods
Stranger: is what they all say
Stranger: no
Stranger: actually
Stranger: A SHELL
Stranger: IN THE SEA
Stranger: :D
Stranger: A pwetty one
Stranger: with glitter
You: a shell in the woods
Stranger: and kesha inside
You: there are no shells in woods, therefore, you are a lucky one.
Stranger: ke-dollar sign-ha
Stranger: YAY okayu :D
Stranger: and u can be
Stranger: the person who discovered me
Stranger: its like
Stranger: a good
Stranger: episode
Stranger: of Dora the xplorer
Stranger: explorer
Stranger: *
You: except im not Dora. nor am I hispanic.
Stranger: :(
Stranger: thats a shame
Stranger: u can be the monkey?
Stranger: and get a hispanic girl
Stranger: to go with u on ur adventure
You: (insert my name here) the explorer?
Stranger: :O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: ho wdare u
Stranger: take out
Stranger: DORA
Stranger: O_O
Stranger: thats a crime young lady
Stranger: a very serious crime
You: send me to jail then
Stranger: its like
Stranger: Barney and friendds
Stranger: without barney
Stranger: :(
You: oh no
Stranger: mmmhmm
Stranger: temme about it
Stranger: sista
Stranger: anywayssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
You: you’re drunk, arent you
Stranger: i shall be on my way to be a shell in the woods
Stranger: no :(
Stranger: no im not
You: this may have to go on that one website
You: whats it called?
Stranger: which website?
Stranger: reddit?
You: omeglechats.com?
Stranger: really?
Stranger: thats a website?
Stranger: yay
Stranger: ill be popular
Stranger: :D
You: i believe so
Stranger: wooohoooooo
Stranger: me and you
Stranger: or no
Stranger: you and i
You: FAMOUS
Stranger: lady gagas song
You: OUR NAMES UP IN LIGHTS
Stranger: we can sing it together
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes
Stranger: keep going
Stranger: please dont stop
Stranger: tlaking
You: Fameee!
Stranger: lay it all on me
Stranger: FAME
You: yellow model chicks!
Stranger: and we’ll be FEMME FATALES
Stranger: :D
Stranger: with our hair dyed blonde
You: we’ll get what other people get in ten years, in 2 days!
Stranger: Ooooohhh
Stranger: thats a song right?
Stranger: LMAO
You: YES!
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: stupid lyric
Stranger: like that stupid hoe
Stranger: nicki minaj
You: :O
Stranger: yo a stupid hoe
Stranger: ur stupid ho
Stranger: hoe*
You: i am nicki minaj..
Stranger: stu pid stupi dstupid
Stranger: she always drunk
Stranger: but her musics sort of catchy :S
Stranger: i know
Stranger: take me away
Stranger: and throw me into …
You: A GREAT ESCAPPPEEEE
Stranger: lets run
Stranger: away
Stranger: baby
Stranger: just say yess
Stranger: oho oh oh
Stranger: oh oh ohhhh
Stranger: oh
You: not familiar.
Stranger: we were
Stranger: both young
Stranger: when i first saw u
Stranger: :D
Stranger: ?
You: :D
Stranger: ring a bell?
You: TSWIFT
Stranger: SWIFTIE
Stranger: YUP!
Stranger: now lets sing
Stranger: ra rah olalal
Stranger: rama ramama
Stranger: osahoisadhpihdspihfdoidsh
Stranger: want ur bad romance
You: yayyaya
Stranger: i want ur ugly i want ur disease
Stranger: i wonder why she says that
Stranger: shes got it all
Stranger: to begin with
You: i want your everything as long as its freee
Stranger: O_o
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: thats such
Stranger: a brown line
Stranger: brown people….and free stuff
Stranger: totally go together
You: you sound like you know this?
Stranger: know what?
You: about brown people and free stuff
Stranger: DUH!
You: you sound like an expert of some sort
Stranger: Canadian in zeeee house
You: USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
Stranger: Oooooooo
Stranger: the land of land
Stranger:
Stranger: makes no sense?
Stranger: exactly my point
Stranger: O_o
You: i dont understand
Stranger: you wouldnt…
Stranger: dont worry
Stranger: just smile and wave
Stranger: :D
You: is it a canadian joke?
Stranger: nooooo….
Stranger: just an implication of americans maybe?
You: doesnt process in my dumb american brain
You: all i can think of is
Stranger: there you go
Stranger: :S
You: fast food
Stranger: :D*
Stranger: that was the point
Stranger: :D
Stranger: yay
Stranger: u cracked the puzzle
You: yay!
Stranger: hawla at a playa
You: im actually european
Stranger: Oooo
Stranger: no wonder
Stranger: u cracked the puzzle
Stranger: or else
Stranger:
Stranger: u just would die owndering
You: but living in the us
Stranger: yeah see what tthat american stuff has done to u
You: dumbs us all down O.O
Stranger: one day ull look and even sound like nicki minaj
Stranger: :D
Stranger: yup!
Stranger: thats the american life
You: sw@qq
Stranger: O_O huh?
Stranger: whats tht?
Stranger: anyways GAL I SHALL GO ILL SEE U ….. IN HELL O_O no im kidding.. ill be in the heavens above :D
You: swag!
Stranger: i better see this chat online
Stranger: ohhhhh
Stranger: wth
Stranger: is
Stranger: sw@qq
Stranger: that makes no sense
You: s w @=a q=g
Stranger: are u a mexican?
Stranger: cuz i dont talk alien language
You: i am croatian
Stranger: OMG
Stranger: my teacher is that
Stranger: i have no idea what it is
Stranger: but i LOVE HIM
Stranger: HES AMAZING
well not really
Stranger: hes just humorous at times
Stranger: thats all
You: just across the meditteranean from italy and greece.
Stranger: oh niiiiiice
Stranger: why the hell would u leave that lifestyle
Stranger: for burgers
Stranger: ?
Stranger: in america*
You: i was forced O.O
Stranger: thats fun
Stranger: anyways i shall go young one but dont worry ill be back O_O
You: dont forget omeglechats.com!
Stranger: wait lemme even see if thats a real thing
Stranger: O_o
You: almost positive!
Stranger: OMG IT IS IT IS
im gonna be famous
Stranger: :’)
Stranger: im so proud o fmyself
Stranger: but i have no one to hug
You: *hug!*
Stranger: its okay though i will be hugging trees thta give out money one day
Stranger: :D
Stranger: no no need
Stranger: for ur cheap
Stranger: text hug
Stranger: pfft
Stranger: please
Stranger: anyways i will keep my eyes open O_O on that site to see me rise to fame
Stranger: for the meantime
Stranger:
Stranger: HAWLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Stranger: hawla back at a canadian
Stranger: with ur arms
Stranger: in the air
Stranger: wooohoo
Stranger: hawlaaaaa
Stranger: there we go
You: hawlaaaaa
Stranger: :D
Stranger: babye
Stranger: ba-bye*
You: bye!
Stranger: DONT FORGET!
Stranger: O_O
Stranger: TO POST
Stranger: AND MAKE ME FAMOUS
You: KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED!
Stranger: OR IL LTELL UR MOM TO SLAP THE SILLY OUT OF YOUR EUROEAN FACE
Stranger: OKAY OKAY
Stranger: mmmhmm
You: now disconnect so i can save the log!
Stranger: okay okay
Stranger: peace
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Rating: 5.4/10 (5 votes cast)

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Schizophrenic People Talking about Irrelevant Things

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m f
You: Gosh!! You found me…
Stranger: FINALLY
You: u stalker
Stranger: i just needed to tell you something
Stranger:
Stranger: but you can’t tell anyone..
You: if pigs could fly ? would you fly fly ??or would you fly ?
Stranger: hmmmmm soar prolly
Stranger: but I’m gonna fly like an eagle…not a pig
You: darn, the wind from the west , do u like apples?
Stranger: i like pumpkins
Stranger: theres charlie in the bushes….
You: let me set the cow on the grills right
Stranger: shhhhh!!! they’ll hear you
You: how do u like the kid??fried or baked?
Stranger: broiled
You: its windy , did u finish eating your toilet roll?
Stranger: NO….I don’t want it..
You: is your family around ??
You: the other pedos?
Stranger: they’re long gone
You: get that charlie out of the bush now
Stranger: i can’t bones!!! we’re completely surrounded…our best bet is to sneak to the LZ
Stranger: they came out of the trees man..
You: shhh….om mom om mom
Stranger: you are chewing entirely to loud
You: are u blind? i said shhhh,
Stranger: sorry. carry on
You: do you like ASL ?
Stranger: sorta m 19 usa
You: i meant asian sea lion , you piece of brown bacterial matter
Stranger: thats not real
You: and what’s usa?
Stranger: usa = you eff ay
You: USSR
Stranger: HOLE
You: thats your mouth ????
Stranger: pardon?
You: Pardoned
Stranger: salute
You: have you ever touched yourself in a church ?
You: thinking of the priest ?
Stranger: yea, jesus cut my penie off
You: that was before you underwent the surgery right ?
Stranger: dirka dirka
You: will you marry me ?
Stranger: do you have a moon bounce
You: we’ll mow the garden and grow weed
Stranger: can we have a crack tree
You: you are on a train
Stranger: what ?
You: dont forget to eat your vegetables
Stranger: which ones?
You: Do you like apples?
Stranger:huh?
You: Ok ,, its getting cold, let me teach microsoft justin bieber some banana patriotism with some email
Stranger: BYE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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