Archive for December, 2012

The Hottest Omegle Girl Ever

Hello to all kind readers of omegle chats. I stumbled upon this beauty a few nights ago and I truly felt compelled to share. Above all others, I think this girl represents the hottest omegle girl to ever grace my ethernet cables. What do you think, internet?

 

Chatroulette girls never come close

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Rating: 8.1/10 (614 votes cast)

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Surviving the Storyteller.

You: You are in a darkened room, feeling dizzy. You sit up slowly – what do you do next?
Stranger: turn on the ligh
Stranger: light
Stranger: is it some kind of test?
You: You fumble around for the light switch, flicking it on. The room appears rather drab.
You: From outside you hear a low rumble. Do you investigate?
Stranger: sure
You: You decide to go outside. The sun is low in the west. From the direction of the rumble, you see the city and smoke rising.
You: South is the beach.
You: Which way do you go?
Stranger: to the beach
You: You decided to leave the sound after all. On your way to the beach, you see many wrecked cars across the road. As you approach the beach, you notice there are no people. While you contemplate this, you hear footsteps behind you!
You: Turn or run?
Stranger: run far away and turn.
You: You make a quick dash until you are at the dock. Looking back at the road, you see the person….but there is something wrong.
You: They seem expressionless, dead even.
You: Zombie!
Stranger: cool!
You: On the floor is a baseball bat. Do you attack?
Stranger: then i’m gonna plant some plants~
Stranger: sure
You: You take the bat in your hand, gleeful in this moment of awesome. You charge at the zombie, screeching “Yaarrrrgggh”
You: One blow slashes through the zombie, his body slopping down on the ground.
You: Before he finally dies, he lets out a low rumble.
You: What now?
You: A loud graaagh comes from the direction of the city…
Stranger: kill him
You: the zombie is dead already
Stranger: fine
You: you notice a building fall
You: Suddenly, a zombie appears from behind a shop! It is coming quickly towards you! ACT NOW!
You: It is close!
Stranger: use the bat to attack it
You: You swing madly at the zombie, just as it raises it’s arms!
You: SMACK – it loses it;s head in one blow
You: The body tumbles to the floor, writhing.
You: You see a car nearby that doesn’t seem damaged. take it?
Stranger: take it
Stranger: hope there is no zombie in it
You: You get in. The keys are just inside the glove compartment, how simple.
You: The engine stutters to a start. You hear a loud roar nearby!
You: Where do you go?
Stranger: run away
Stranger: go as far as possible
You: You abandon the vehicle, dashing into the street again.
You: You were just in time, as two zombies leap off a building onto the car, breaking it’s roof in
You: Down the road you sprint until you can go no further needing breath.
You: It seems clear for now.
You: Up ahead you see a wal-mart.
You: To your left is a cliff, while to your right is another road of houses
Stranger: to the right
You: You make your way down the road. You notice some houses are burned out while others are fine. As you near the end of the road, a lady steps out of her house, shotgun raised.
You: “GET OUT OF HERE ZOMBIE SCUM!”
Stranger:
Stranger: tell her that i am not
You: You look shocked at her, then shout back ” I am not a zombie! I am alive! Don’t you see!”
You: She eyes you over carefully. “Alive you say? Huh, why should I believe you?”
Stranger: how do i know ;(
You: You ponder a moment. None of those other zombies talked. Maybe that can help
Stranger: keep talking to her
Stranger: and tell her that zombie don’t talk
You: “Well, er…they attacked me. And don’t zombies only growl, not talk? I am talking aren’t I”
You: “Hmm, true true.” She says, lowering her gun.
You: “You can come in, but I’m watching you…”
You: Go in?
Stranger: sure
You: You enter the house with her. The room is wood panelled but dull. You see a small girl in there with her, probably about 6.
You: “I..I’m clare.” Says the girl.
You: “What is your name?”
Stranger: emma
You: “I am Emma.” You reply. “What happened here Clare?”
You: “I…I dunno much. Mummy t..told me people were going a bit crazy, attacking p..people.”
You: You hear a scream from the next room, where the lady went!
You: What do you do?
Stranger: check it out
You: You tell Clare to stay put, moving into the next room. You see the lady on the floor, a zombie laying over her. Both seem lifeless.
You: The shotgun is at her side, pointing at the zombie.
Stranger: pick it up
Stranger: kill the zombie
You: You pick up the shotgun carefully. The zombie stirs at your presence, but you quickly end that.
You: Clare dashes through, then cries at the sight.
You: She runs out through the front door again. Do you follow or search the house?
Stranger: follow
You: You run out after her. You find her stood in the street, bawling her eyes out.
You: You briefly comfort the girl.
You: “W-why did that man attack mummy?” She asks between sobs
You: You tell the girl a small tale about the zombies, avoiding gore.
You: Suddenly, she goes pale white, and screams at something behind you!
You: Quick!!!
Stranger: run away with the girl
You: You pick up the girl and run. A quick glance behind and you see the lady at the doorway, face expressionless.
You: Up ahead you see another car. Take it or move on?
Stranger: sorry to disrupt when will this adventure end..
Stranger: take it
You: when you die or get out.
Stranger: interesting
Stranger: but i gotta go
You: You take the car, quickly hotwiring it. The girl clambers in without asking where you are going to go.
Stranger: so am i dead?
You: You speed off towards the higway, making it out of the city altogether
You: A few zombies litter the road, but the path seems to be for freedom.
You: What caused this, you don’t know. For now, you must go on. Find somewhere safe.
You: Thankyou for playing.
Stranger: thank you for offering
Stranger: such an interesting anventure
Stranger: bye :)
You: Epilogue: Life continues in towns. A news report says they found the cause…
You: You overhear a scientist is trying to use the research
You: was that a rumble?
You: :D

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Rating: 7.1/10 (113 votes cast)

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Whales

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Hey bay bay.
Stranger: I am not a body of water, sir.
You: SIR?
You: SIR?!
You: REALLY.
You: REALLY NOW.
Stranger: SIR.
Stranger: YEAH.
You: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM A SIR.
Stranger: SIR.
Stranger: YOUR MASSIVE, INTIMIDATING MAN-SAUSAGE.
You: I AM SORRY BUT I SEEMED TO HAVE CHOPPED THAT OFF MONTHS AGO.
Stranger: THEN WHAT’S THAT YOU HAVE IN BETWEEN YOUR– Oh. Hello, Justin Beiber.
You: ACTUALLY.
You: MY NAME IS ALFRED AND I LIKE TO PLAY WITH WHALES.
Stranger: OH GOODNESS.
Stranger: YOU LOVE WHALES?
You: I LOVE WHALES AND THEIR MASSIVE BLOW HOLES.
You: I ALSO LOVE FRYING PANS.
You: BUT THAT’S A SECRET.
You: I LIKE THEM RUSTY.
Stranger: WHO DOESN’T?
You: YOUR MOM.
Stranger: TRUE.
You: DO YOU LIKE FRYING PANS.
Stranger: YEAH.
Stranger: DO YOU?
Stranger: I LIKE THEM ALL RUSTY-LIKE.
You: I JUST FUCKING SAID I LOVED THEM
Stranger: YOU DID?
Stranger: IS THAT A SECRET OF YOURS?
You: IS WHAT A SECRET.
Stranger: YOU RUSTY FRYING PAN FETISH.
You: THE FACT THAT I LOVE MY WHALES MIXED WITH A LITTLE BIT OF RUSTY PANS?
You: YEAH
You: SO DON’T TELL FUCKER.
Stranger: YEAH.
Stranger: K.
Stranger: I WON’T.
Stranger: ONLY THE WHALES.
Stranger: K?
You: OKAY.
Stranger: DEAL.
You: THE WHALES KNOW ABOUT THE PANS.
Stranger: I BET THEY DO.
Stranger: I LOVE MY WHALES LIKE I LOVE MY WOMEN.
Stranger: DRIED UP ON A BEACH.
You: I LOVE MY WHALES LIKE I LOVE MY PICKLES.
You: WET AND SOGGY.
Stranger: THAT’S GOOD TOO.
Stranger: I’M CURRENTLY JEALOUS.
You: DO YOU LIKE APRICOTS/
Stranger: IN JAM, I DO.
You: OH.
You: I DONT REALLY LIKE TO JAM AND EAT MY APRICOTS AT THE SAME TIME.
Stranger: TOO BAD.
Stranger: IT’S GOOD FOR YOU.
Stranger: PREVENTS CAIDS.
You: CAIDS?
You: CAW CAW
Stranger: CANCEROUS AIDS.
You: I HEAR A COON DOG IN THE DISTANCE.
Stranger: FROM THE DIRECTION WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS?
You: NO.
You: THE OTHER WAY.
Stranger: TOO BAD.
Stranger: I LIKE IT OVER THERE.
Stranger: AWESOME VIEW.
You: WELL MAYBE I WILL GET THAT COON DOG AND TAKE IT TO WHERE THAT FERN IS GROWING.
Stranger: YOU SHOULD
You: I JUST MIGHT HAVE TO DO THAT
Stranger: IT’S AMAZING THIS TIME OF YEAR.
Stranger: YEAH. YOU BETTER.
You: THE BUTTER?
You: THE BUTTER IS AMAZING?
You: HEY.
You: I HAVE A QUESTION.
Stranger: YEAH.
Stranger: WHAT?
You: DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A FISH WEDDING
Stranger: FUCK YEAH.
You: ALL RIGHT.
You: YOU GET YOUR FISH AND I’LL GET MINE.
Stranger: K
You: DONT FORGET THE WHALES.
Stranger: I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND THAT HE BITES.
You: THE FISH?
Stranger: YEAH.
You: I LIKE PARANAS.
Stranger: I THINK HE HAS A DISORDER BUT I TREAT HIM EQUAL.
You: SO BITING IS NO BIG DEAL MATE.
Stranger: K.
Stranger: MAKING SURE.
You: OKAY.
You: HEY.
Stranger: WHAT?
You: I MADE YOU BREAKFAST.
Stranger: OH, SWEET.
Stranger: THANKS, SIR.
You: HEY.
You: I AM NOT A SIR.
You: I AM A TRANSEXUAL.
Stranger: OK.
You: SO I AM BOTH.
Stranger: GENTLESIR?
You: I LIKE IT IN THE FRONT AND IN THE BACK.
You: GENTLE WOMAN.
You: MORE LIKE,
Stranger: WHO DOESN’T?
You: YOUR DAD
Stranger: TRUE.
Stranger: TOO BAD FOR HIM.
Stranger: HE’S MISSING OUT.
You: RIGHT
You: HE SURE IS.
You: THAT LITTLE GUY
You: POOR THING
Stranger: I KNOW RIGHT?
You: YEAH.
You: WELL MATE.
You: I’D LOVE TO STAY AND CHAT BUT I HAVE SOME MORE OMEGLE PERVS TO FUCK WITH
Stranger: ALRIGHT.
Stranger: HAVE FUN.
You: YOU TOO.
Stranger: DON’T LET THE BULLIES TAKE YOUR MONEY.
You: DON’T LET THOSE WHALES EAT YOUR SOUL
Stranger: BECAUSE I WORK FOUR JOBS TO EARN IT.
Stranger: K.
You: K.
You: GOOD DAY.
Stranger: LOVE YOU.
You: LOVE YOU TOO STRANGER
Stranger: STRANGER LOVE.
You: STRANGER DANGER LOVE.
Stranger: WOO!
You: ;DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Stranger: ;3
You: !@#$%^&*(
You: GOOD BYE NOW STRANGER,
Stranger: BYE.
Stranger: GTFO.
You: I WILL KINDLY GTFO.
You have disconnected.

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Rating: 7.8/10 (44 votes cast)

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Don’t apologize…

You: hey.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: m/f
You: i have chlamydia
You:
Stranger: srry
You: why are you sorry? you didn’t give me it, your mom did:S
Stranger: m23
You: shit man.
You have disconnected.

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Rating: 7.3/10 (44 votes cast)

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Talking to a martian

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hello!
You: Hi :D
Stranger: how are you?
You: good you?
Stranger: fine, thanks…
Stranger: where are you from?
You: earth
You: You?
Stranger: really?
You: yeep
Stranger: mars…
Stranger: pretty far!
You: :O
You: Woow
Stranger: how old are you?
You: less than 100 years of age
You: You?
Stranger: 1639 years old…
Stranger: i’m a teenager here…
Stranger: by the way..
You: :O
Stranger: is my english too bad?
You: noo its pretty daym good :]
Stranger: because i’m just learning yet…
Stranger: well, good to know!
Stranger: thanks!
Stranger: so what do you do on earth?
You: nothin watch tv. go on the computer.. most people are fat here..
You: exept for the people who are in poverty
You: what do you do on mars?
Stranger: well, that’s sad…
You: i know :[
Stranger: i work on a spaceship!
You: :O ARE YOU GOING TO ABDUCT ME
Stranger: well, if you want so...
You: Not yet.. i have things to do..
Stranger: would you like to be abduceted?
Stranger: well, but minutes from earth is equivalent to years from mars...
Stranger: it can be really fast!
You: i dunno..
Stranger: you come here, stay for years and come back on the same day to earth...
You: maybe when i haven't got people to assasinate..
Stranger: are you a serial killer?
Stranger: :O
You: no they killed my cat and my dog and my family and my friends...
Stranger: so now you want your revange?
You: yesh
Stranger: well, it is just fair...
Stranger: what are you plannig to do?
You: hire people to eat them >:D
Stranger: what kind of people?
Stranger: i suggest someone from Neptune
You: canibals
Stranger: they are really good on that kind of job...
You: Hmm..,.
You: i think ill get them to do it
You: thanks for helping to me!
Stranger: i suggest you to do so...
Stranger: well, you're welcome!
Stranger: are you going already?
You: i really couldn't find anyone who wanted t do it without eating me
You: no
You: im in my pj's
You: i cant go out now
You: dont be silly
Stranger: well, we don't wear pj's here...
You: O__o why?
Stranger: actually we don't wear anything...
Stranger: =p
You: :O NUDISTS
You: ahah
Stranger: well, if you wanna call us that...
Stranger: hey, i think i have to go...
Stranger: i;m really sorry...
You: ok bye bye :)
You: nce talking to you
Stranger: it's been 5 years here since we started talking...
You: :O
You: woow
Stranger: it was nice talking to you too!
Stranger: come to visit us sometime!
You: you too :]
You: ok
Stranger: but don’t forget…
Stranger: come NAKED!
You: Ok
Stranger: ;)
You: baha
You: i need a spacship..
You: spaceship**
Stranger: well, you’re talking to the right person…
Stranger: i work on a spaceship, remember?
You: ohhhh yeeeeah
Stranger: anyway…
Stranger: i know where you live…
You: :O stalker
Stranger: i give you a lift sometime!
Stranger: don’t worry…
You: ok cool
Stranger: we have plenty of time…
Stranger: bye…
Stranger: see ya!
You: bye

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Rating: 8.4/10 (30 votes cast)

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