A Gentleman’s Chatter!


You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hummmmmmmm…..
Stranger: Disregard females, acquire currency.
You: but then what to do with vast amounts of currency with no female to lich?
Stranger: Spend it on automobiles.
You: But the whole point of luxury automobiles is to impress females at the very least! What would be the purpose if i am disregarding them!
Stranger: Purchase more females from the brothel in the alley.
You: I think, sir, your philosophy is flawed
You: since i am disregarding females, why would i buy some in a brothel!
Stranger: No good sir, my philosophy has been proven by Sir Fifty Pence.
You: that puts the idea of disregarding females and makes it null
Stranger: You beat them, good sir.
You: I do admia sir, your vast amounts of currency however!
Stranger: Why thank you good man. I admire your intelligence.
You: I dare say, when did you speak to that bloat Sir Fifty Pence?
Stranger: Just last Thursday.
You: I was told he was not among our……social circle!
Stranger: At dawn. In the respectable town of Brooklyn.
You: He only has fifty pieces my good man, that is bad company!
You: I no longer aquantaince with him
Stranger: Why, he earns quite a fair amount of currency. Handsome, if I do say.
Stranger: See, I just paid him currency the Thursday hence.
You: Well then, I believe i’ve been swayed from the rightful sight of ‘im!
Stranger: He in return, bestowed upon me some good cocaine.
You: Ah yes, the good powda! Let none of those blokes so called “city guards” catch you with it though sir!
Stranger: Oh, of course not. I say, look at what happened to that Dwayne Carter Jr.
Stranger: I say, I heard that he now goes by Little Wayne in prison. How unfortunate for him.
You: Oh a shame that was!
Stranger: T’was, t’was.
You: Such a nice fellow he once was!
Stranger: Ah, I do say so.
You: I think he makes what low lifers would call “music”. Bah! What poverty does to the minds!
Stranger: Not just music, but some called wrapping. Wrapping what, I ask?
You: My thoughts exactly!
Stranger: Bahah, we shall never sink to that level of society’s depths.
You: Too low to even imagine!
Stranger: Not as long as we have our females and cocaine!
You: Although you did once live by that flawed philosophy of disregarding them my friend!
Stranger: I know, I know. A Past that haunts me to this very day.
Stranger: Oh good Lord of all that is Holy, forgive me for my wrongdoings.
You: I think sir he will , he will!
Stranger: Oh, but will he? Will he?
You: Oh my, give me thirty three seconds my good man, my monicle seems to have some condensation over its lens!
Stranger: Yes of course my good sir.
Stranger: Judging by my sterling silver pocketwatch, I do believe it has been exactly thirty-three seconds.
You: Ah yes excellent! Brand new and sparkling! Just like the emerald and diamond frames seats we are sitting on!
Stranger: Oh yes, only the finest for us gentlemen.
You: I demand nothing more!
You: well, excuse me, i meant less
You: Nothing less!
Stranger: Now where is that blasted Mary Elizabeth? I let it be known that I wanted her in the pantry to make me some meat and potatoes.
Stranger: Wives … they never do listen, do they sir?
You: Excuse me my friend but I need to be a little ungentleman like and a tad foward with this question, may I ask it sir?
Stranger: Why of course, good sir.
You: Would she be making a cup of tea along with those delicious meat and potatoes? I need to calm my appetite for such delicacies you see
Stranger: Why only the best tea that India has to offer. I do say, it is just splendid.
You: Oh my, ’tis quite impressive china set you have there sir!
Stranger: Thank the heavens for the East India Trading Company.
Stranger: But damn those blasted pirates.
You: Damn those barbarians!
You: Do they have no regard for our wealth!?
Stranger: Just last Thursday hence, one almost pludered my very home!
Stranger: If not for my quick thinking and disarming good looks.
You: I say sir, you must shoot me with my Golden Gentleman’s Revolver if i ever have to downgrade form these gem-fitted chairs into some, ……….hurst to say it……..SILVER chairs!
Stranger: NO! Do not even fathom the prospect!
You: I will never mention the word again!
Stranger: Why those blasted, filthy rats and their bloody wenches. Look what they have done to us, what horrible things they drive our minds to believe.
You: Insanity!
Stranger: And poor Commodore Norrington … how far mighty men have fallen. No associating with the bloody pirates.
You: Ah yes
Stranger: Oh dear, I meant now associating. I do apologize.
You: I was about to correct you on that sir, but your quick wits impress the highest ranking monarch!
Stranger: And that Elizabeth Swann. Such a promising young lady. Now reduced to nothing more than dirt on the show of society.
You: I applaud you sir!
Stranger: Why thank you sir.
Stranger: Shoe of society. My, my.
Stranger: I am making quite the error this evening.
You: Ah sir, but don’t take it to heart! You are in the company of friends!
Stranger: Why yes I am. Friends, women, and of course, cocaine!
You: The powda!
Stranger: Excuse me while I injest just a little … I shall be about twenty-one seconds.
You: I shall be hea’!
Stranger: Now to raise a glass of brandy. Cheers my good sir!
You: Cheers!
You: My, excellent choice sir!
Stranger: To drink ourselves to death, as we are dressed in our finest and prepared to go as gentlemen!
You: Tasteful to the very last drop!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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