A Hopeless Romantic

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: sex chat?
You: you bet.
Stranger: m or f?
You: f
Stranger: m
Stranger: you start :)
You: ok.
You: i’d start by meeting you at the gym. then we’d go out to eat, possibly a seafood restaurant. i’d order the most expensive thing on the menu and you’d be forced to pay for it because i’ve got gigantic t*ts.
Stranger: oooh ill pay for gigantic.
You: then we’d go out and see a movie, where i’d order a giant bucket of popcorn, an extra large drink, and 5 different types of candy bars.
Stranger: a porno? to vet us ready ?
You: no, a romantic comedy.
Stranger: whatever you like baby
You: after that, we’d go back to my place where i’d put on a little bit of mood music.
You: some Slayer, perhaps.
Stranger: i like to f*ck hard
You: once I got done feeding my 2 dogs and my 3 children, I’d call my jealous, ex-con husband to let him know that you and I are together tonight.
Stranger: mmm.
Stranger: let him know your getting f*cked hard.
You: and I am getting f*cked hard….by the GOVERNMENT.
You: you know they want to take even more of my paycheck now?
Stranger: really ?
Stranger: wow thats gay
You: yes it is.
Stranger: dont you just wanna let out your anger ?
You: with tears, yes.
You: I cry into your arms as I scream in anger.
Stranger: i comfort youu baby
You: then I punch you in the stomach.
You: steal your wallet and run out of my apartment.
You: setting the building on fire as I leave.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Rating: 6.0/10 (2 votes cast)
A Hopeless Romantic, 6.0 out of 10 based on 2 ratings
  1. #1 by Anthony - May 17th, 2010 at 10:42

    The Stranger totally owned the idiot who submitted this.

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  2. #2 by Omegler - May 21st, 2010 at 03:56

    ^ Guess we know who the Stranger was (Anthony).

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  3. #3 by iMissYou - April 18th, 2011 at 05:26

    Heeeeeeey. :)

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