A Stimulating Conversation with Two Chaps

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: WOAH!
Stranger: What?! :O
You: IS
Stranger: Unless?
Stranger: Have what good sir?
You: Do you accept?!
Stranger: I am prepared to offer forth a stimulating conversation with you. Under two conditions only.
You: And what might they be!?
Stranger: The first, you don’t “type lik dis”.
You: Of course. Do you believe I would?
You: Nay! I shant!
Stranger: The second and this is the important one, at no time you ask me to give you an “ASL”. If it comes up in conversation that is quite alright however.
You: I see.
You: These are quite extreme conditions.
You: But I will follow them throughly!
Stranger: They are indeed, but like you I am looking for conversation that is enjoyable and interesting.
You: I believe you’ve found one, my good sir.
Stranger: I am very pleased, for at this point in time I was under the impression that only the younger minority (The minority being 12-16 year olds) used this website.
You: Ho ho! And what a silly impression that was. For I am timeless!
Stranger: Grand news sir! Stay a while, and listen!
You: I shall! For what do you have to offer to my hearing canals?
Stranger: A tale sir, of a man who while normally cautious with his money has thrown caution to the wind and now eagerly awaits the day of Friday when he shall once again have money available for his guilty pleasures, gaming and movies.
You: Oh, deary! This sounds like a grand story indeed!
Stranger: Recently, the grand creation that is the Steam Store had quite a set of sales! Spanning the time of several days! Of these sales many a game were priced down by as much as 80%. The man, Steve, was drawn in by the sales and found himself buying many a game!
Stranger: He was so amazed with the sales that he also began to purchase many games that he would later gift to his friends. This man now has no more than fifteen dollars but no less than ten dollars.
Stranger: That is my tale.
You: Ohh, silly little Steve! Did he not realize that when said game sales dropped, he would be put in such a lethal situation?
You: I see!
You: And what games, did Sir Steve inquire upon?
Stranger: Yes, I am certain he was aware. But his need to have these games in his library while they were so cheap could not be stopped. He is also very much a man of generosity. Thus he could not help but buy games for his friends as well.
Stranger: Sir Steve purchased:
Stranger: Half Life 2, Torchlight, Beat Hazard, Mount and Blade: Warband, Oddworld: Abes Oddysee/Exodus, Bad Rats, The Bionic Commando Pack, and Counter Strike: Source.
You: Oh goodness me! I have never heard of such games!
You: I am so flustered, I seem to have misplaced my monacle.
Stranger: It does happen to the best of us chap. In moments such as these it is possible to lose ones self in excitement and misplace your monacle.
You: Oh yes it is. But I am specifically curious about such game as “The Bionic Commando Pack”. Does this game have bionical men running around commando, with their willies hanging out for the world to see?
You: Because if it does, I would frequently find myself saying to the makers of such game, “Dear god, boy! What have you done? Put some trousers on that young chap, and a monacle while you’re at it!”
You: It would indeed be many an awkward situation.
You: Oh, I must be going. My dear friend Roderick has seemed to have dropped trou in the middle of the hobblestone path, and is scaring the neighborhood scallywags and hussies. I shall bid you adou.
You: Good night, kind chap.
Stranger: Good night dear sir. It has been my pleasure.
You: And mine as well!

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