Pedobear!


You: Stranger danger?
Stranger: ಠ_ಠ.
Stranger: Pedobear danger.
You: Touche. (I would do it with an accented e, but I dunno how)
Stranger: It’s okay, you’re the only thing stopping him, son.
Stranger: You must stop him.
You: How? I am not that strong I fear.
You: *Daughter
Stranger: But you are.
Stranger: For you have the strength of all the children he’s touched, their vengeance incarnate.
You: But I do not understand. How am I suppose to stop this great evil?
Stranger: Simple.
Stranger: You must touch him back.
Stranger: If you think of it, Pedobear touches many individuals.
Stranger: He wreaks havoc among the young, spreading his fear.
Stranger: But, one wonders, has pedobear himself ever been touched?
You: Hmmm..Intriguing question. I do wonder. If he touches me first, what happens then?
You: It’s too scary to think about.
Stranger: Indeed. That is why you must be on your toes, ever vigilant.
Stranger: For he who touches first, is the winner regardless of the afterwards.
Stranger: Even if you were to slay him on the spot, the sheer force of his haunting will would bind itself to you forever.
You: I don’t know if I can complete this horrible, god forsaken task. If I fail….it’s to unimaginable to think about.
You: If you’re an expert about this, why haven’t you tried to stop him?
Stranger: Because… I am his rival, his mortal enemy.
Stranger: He has eyes on me at all times, always watching.
Stranger: But I keep him at bay. I watch him back, he keeps his distance.
You: So wouldn’t he know I was coming…?
Stranger: It stays in such eternal stalemate until the end of time.
Stranger: No, because he does not know you.
You: Ah. that makes sense.
You: Hey, this has been nice, but it’s storming really bad out and I don’t want my laptop to fry.
Stranger: So, like the dagger in the back, you must strike without suspicion.

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