Posts Tagged cyberfail

PMS

Stranger: eat my pussy?
You: I DON’T EAT ANIMALS! JESUS!
Stranger: wtf
Stranger: eat my vagina
You: GET A LIFE, GIRLY.
Stranger: please i want to talk dirty
You: NOBODY WANTS YOUR SMELLY VA-J-J.
Stranger: im a guy btw
You: I’m a girl btw.
Stranger: rreally
You: Yeah, really.
Stranger: legit
You: You’re not.
You: Horny fucker.
Stranger: im a guy
You: I know.
You: Doesn’t mean you aren’t horny, dear.
Stranger: ur a guy to i can tell
You: HAH.
You: I am not in any way, shape, or form a guy.
Stranger: keep going
You: mmkay
You: Mother nature wouldn’t have blessed me with this gift this week if i were a man.
Stranger: so can we talk dirty then
You: NOPE!
You: Get a life, asshole.
Stranger: oh pms

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Psychic…

Stranger: hi’
You: no
Stranger: what no?
You: to what you were about to type just now.
Stranger: Lets talk about sex
You: *see above

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Someone didn’t get the memo…

Stranger: hey
You: im 23 f florida and ready to cyber
Stranger: 26 m belgium maybe ready to cyber
You: alrighty then
You: take us away ;)
Stranger: to where
You have disconnected.

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NO PICS.

You: Hello ma loverrrrr
You: How ya doing darlin?
Stranger: 19 m
Stranger: u?
You: 19 f
Stranger: cool
You: don’t we match like hand to glove?
You: like trouser to pocket?
You: like lipstick to lips
Stranger: do u have pics?
You: like condom to dick
You: like nail to hammer
You: like rope to neck
You: like finger to keyboard
You: like pictures to facebook
You: like idiots to omegle
You: we’re brilliant.
You: no i dont have any pics.
You have disconnected.

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I might give you 3 wishes though.

You: Hello.
Stranger: hi.
You: How are you?
Stranger: i m fine
Stranger: asl plz
You: asian sexy lamps.
You: you?
Stranger: m/f
You: whats that mean?
Stranger: r u male or female
You: neither.
You: i’m a lamp.
You: lamps don’t have genders.
You: last time i checked.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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blow fish

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: r u up for oral sex
You: yes, but only cause im a blow fish.
Stranger: kk im takin off my clothes rite no
Stranger: now
You: go for it
Stranger: r u ?
You: …..no
You: fishes dont wear clothes
You: silly
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Confused..

You: no
Stranger: Hey guess what
You: whattt
Stranger: no what
You: what
Stranger: wait no
Stranger: no what
You: what?
Stranger: you said no when I cam in
Stranger: came*
You: huh
You: you just came?
Stranger: omg!
You: to tell me what?
You: uh..
You: unicorn sex
Stranger: You have successfully confused the fuck out of me. Kudos sir. Kudos.

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Guess They Were Not..

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: IM NEVER GONNA BE INSIDE OF YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
You: are you a tape worm?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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