Posts Tagged fail

Rejected

Stranger: hey its nicole, is this jake?
You: yeaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: we did it!
You: hahaha
You: this is so cool
Stranger: yay i found u baby
You: hey
You: nicole… will you marry me?
You: i love you so much
You: i think we should
Stranger: haha ur being silly again
You: no
You: im serious
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You’ve got to be joking.

You: hello!
Stranger: hii
16/male/india….
so u gonna disconnect noe rite?? :D
You: not unless you can tell me a good joke.
You: one that will legitimately make me laugh aloud.
Stranger: okay, y was the chicken crossing the road?
You: I dunno, why?
Stranger: to get on the other side.hahahhaa
You: NOW I’m gonna disconnect.
You have disconnected.

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Doc can’t save me on Omegle.

Stranger: I’m a medical student that will drive an Aston Martin when he’s a doctor:)
Stranger: you?
You: You arrogant bastard.
Stranger: Thanks, i’m proud of it.
Stranger: What about u?
Stranger: Next to that: i worked hard for it
You: Yeah, no doubt because you were pushed into it. You were pushed hard for it.
Stranger: No, it’s my dream to help people. In fact i don’t give a duck about the money. The specialisation i will choose doesn’t pay that well.
You: Now put all your success down to your own efforts and discredit your parents who instilled in you a driven, diligent nature and nurtured your creativity. Double bastard.
Stranger: Listen guy, i’m the one that helps you when you get a hearth attack. I’m the one that saves you from your car wreck when you had a severe road accident. I’m the one that risks his own life to save you. People die in my helicopter every day because help came too late. Do you think i give a damn about the money or being rich?
Stranger: I feel rich when my patients survive.
You: NO YOU LISTEN… I’m the one who–aah…wait…AAGH…AEDGSKLFHG…HEART–ATTACK–
You have disconnected.

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they just get dumber and dumber

Stranger: hi
You: if u looked out the window and saw me smashing ur car what would u do?>
Stranger: what
You: if you looked
You: out your window
You: and saw me
You: smashing
You: your car
You: what
You: would
You: you
You: do
You: ?
Stranger: oh
You: (god i hate it when i get the ones that cant read)
Stranger: hum…
You: its not farking rocket science its a simple question
Stranger: i dontknow
You: im smashing ur car windows and u dont know
You: wow ur not even worth messing with
You: bye bye
You have disconnected.

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Fail. Fail. Fail.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyy
You: JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL!
Stranger: ME TOOO :D
You: …….
You: fail…
You have disconnected.

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Canadians hate me.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello eh
You: OMG ARE YOU CANADIAN?!
Stranger: Indeed
You: woaaahhh :D
You: thats exciting
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Asides

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: ay
Stranger: hi
You: whats up?
Stranger: asl ?
You: hmm
You: what should i tell this perv
You: oh i know
You: um hey
You: 17/f/chicago
You: you?
Stranger: 18 m russian
Stranger: do you like chat ses :)
Stranger: sex
You: i wonder if he knows im not really a female
You: oh well i will take my chances
You: um hey yeah i do, do you?
Stranger: yeaah
Stranger: do you want to got some web cam with me :)
You: wow this guy must be fucking retarded
You: should i go for it?
You: oh wait
You: its il-legal to fvck retards
You: um hey
Stranger: yeah
You: maybe some other day?
Stranger: do you have a msn ?
Stranger: msn ?
Stranger: or skype
You: wow this guy must be a total douchbag
You: well its worth a shot
You: but what do i tell him?
You: um hey
You: my skype is xxx.notreallyaskype.xxx
Stranger: yes
Stranger: msn ?
You: wowwwww what a fvcking idiot hmm oh well
You: um hey
You: yeah its
You: fakusername@msn.com
Stranger: add me
Stranger: eggi47@hotmail.com
Stranger: are you online now?
Stranger: let’s fvck with me
You: oh my god what a fvcking twat
You: well gotta get out of this sticky situation somehow
You: um hey tomorrow at 4p.m. russia time
You: till then tata for now
You have disconnected.

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Angry Sea Lion?

Stranger: hi
You: Hello
Stranger: asl?
You: Angry sea lion?
You: Nope.
You: Not here.
You: Try next door.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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