Posts Tagged role playing

How High on Omegle?

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello there!
You: i go to harvard
Stranger: Do they not use capitalization at Harvard?
You: well i cheated my way in so im rele stupid actually
Stranger: Oh, I see.
You: i just smoke weed here screw all the hot chicks and do all kinds of other sinanagons
You: but the thng is…
You: the weed brings a ghost of my dead friend
You: thats how i got into harvard
You: he told me all the answers to every test!!
Stranger: Wait wait wait!
Stranger: Since when has weed made people hallucinate?
You: now me and my home boy are livin it up here
Stranger: You don’t go to Harvard.
Stranger: You don’t smoke weed.
Stranger: You don’t screw anyone.
Stranger: You are not a cool kid.
You: my friend just screwed the dean’s daughter
You: he hates us
You: he tries to get us kicked out
You: but he cant cuz hes a loser
You: actualy once he almost did
You: then he ate our special brownies and got so BAKED
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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I Killed Her

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: I killed her.
Stranger: i knew it
You: You told me too
Stranger: yeah just for shts and giggles i didnt think you actually would
You: Well, I did, and you’ll never find me
Stranger: oh well what a shame
Stranger: i hated her anyway
You: You hated your own wife?
Stranger: yeah we were only husband and wife on paper not in feelings
You: DAY-UM! And they SAY I’m a cold hearted killer.
Stranger: its so much less messy when there are no feelings involved
You: What are you going to do with the kid?
Stranger: sell it
Stranger: give it away
Stranger: dump it
Stranger: whatever i fancy at the time
You: Wow, really, I mean, if you told me eariler that you were just going to get rid of it I would have taken it off your hangs
You: *hands
Stranger: do you have a spare minute or two right now?
You: Well, the misses and I are packing to escape the cops
Stranger: well when youve escaped them if you have a mo do you mind popping the kid too?
You: Um… Can I just, keep the kid?
Stranger: urgh why would you want to keep that runt?
Stranger: but if its what you want then sure why not
You: Well, you know, every since the accident the misses and I can’t have kids, and adoption is such a tricky bussiness
Stranger: well i guess it would be a bit nicer for it to live with you and your lovely wife
Stranger: although….i may want a small fee, you know for the years i put into rearing that thing
You: Oh oh oh, you’re charging the man who just killed your wife?
Stranger: yeah pretty much. its how i roll
You: Fine, how much?
Stranger: well i did spend time and money wooing that woman to get her into bed to make him, doctors bills during pregancy, baby shit, toddler clothes, food, electricity bills to keep it warm…im thinking at least 1.5mil
You: What! It only coast you 500 Grand for my to kill her.
You: Okay okay, how about 250 Gs, and the tickets to Spamalot that I can’t use anymore because I’m running from the law because… oh, what was the reason again? Oh yeah, I killed your wife!
Stranger: throw in your marks and spencers gift vouchers as well and youve got yourself a deal
You: Well, I’m just going to kill you too after I give you all the stuff and then take it all back, so deal
Stranger: fair enough
Stranger: is this the best response youve had so far?
You: Yeah, because your the I’ve done this too.
You: Btw, way to brake character
Stranger: haha i know right but i couldnt think what else to say
You: It’s cool, I was running dry myself, but we will be famous one day! ONE DAY!
You have disconnected.

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Interrogation.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: yp
Stranger: yo*
You: Welcome.
You: Take a seat.
Stranger: I shall
You: Now, why don’t we begin with the basics. Where were you on the 26th of July at 7pm?
Stranger: I was at home, playing chess
Stranger: with my…. dog
You: And who can confirm that… human preferably.
Stranger: My mother
Stranger: out of Kiss the band
You: And I suppose you expect me to believe that, do you?
Stranger: nope. I was lying. I was playing chess with my sisters dog
Stranger: Chicken Pie
You: Mr. Jones, we have reason to beleive you were involved in the murder of Stacey Holmes.
You: Have you ever met her?
Stranger: IM SORYY, BUT SHE WAS HOLDING MY ASS
Stranger: :(
You: THAT’S NO DAMN EXCUSE!!!

Stranger: Zombieeee Vampire
Stranger: She’s a monster
You: An innocent girl is dead all because of your sick beliefs.
Stranger: D: Just cause God isn’t real…
You: Don’t play that card with me, boy. I know your type.
Stranger: lmao. Wtf is this?
You: What the f is this?! What the f*k is this!!! How dare you. I can shove you in jail without a blink. So you watch your damn mouth.
You: Now answer the question! Did you or did you not murder Stacey Holmes!
Stranger: I amrried Boblina after I murdered her okay? IM SORRY
Stranger: married*
You: Boblina? Married? Illegally?
Stranger: :(
Stranger: im gonna go now >.<
You: You are guilty!!! Do you think I’m going to let you screw this up?
You: No!
Stranger: byeee ily, i will get you
You: Not if I get you first.
Stranger: disconecting………………………. now

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Animal Balls

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Heyy baby
You: MEOW.
Stranger: BARKK!
You: MEOW?
Stranger: BARK?
You: MRRROOW.
Stranger: GRRRRRR.
You: Meow.
Stranger: Bark
You: Have your balls dropped yet?
Stranger: No
You: |:(
You have disconnected.

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to be continued

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: soulmate, is that you?!
You: is it?
You: *checks barcode*
You: YES!!
Stranger: i finalllly found you!
You: you dont know how many times it took to find you!!
Stranger: i know, same! like, where have you been all my life?
You: dude we saw eachother last week
You: remember?
You: i paid you for that shit
You: still havent gotten it tho. where is it
Stranger: i dont know. javier never pulled through, ill give you your money back.
You: i dont want the money. thats why i gave it to you
You: i want what i paid you and javier for
You: *pulls out stuffed rabbit, knife to its neck* you know who this is
You: and you know exactly what will happen to it if i dont get what i want
Stranger: MY SOULMATE WOULDNT DO THIS TO ME.
You: oh
Stranger: :(.
You: *drops knife* what am i doing
You: *sobs*
Stranger: its okay, we all make mistakes. please dont cry.
You: *wipes away tears with rabbit* its okay rabbit
You: you wont die
You: today..
Stranger: ..today?
You: its ok
You: he wont die yesterday either
Stranger: good.
You: haha XD
Stranger: i once made out with your grandma…sorry. i needed to let you know.
You: its okay
You: my grandma made out with you once
You: thats good payback
You: lol
Stranger: this is true. she left her dentures in my mouth

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Pepsi, Grandpa, Cotton Candy

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
You: If i killed my great grandpa should i go to the poilce ?
Stranger: probably that wouldn’t be the wisest course of action
Stranger: i’d get rid of the corpse
Stranger: best if it decays naturally but accelerated
You: Thats what i was thinking but should i just stuff him?
Stranger: hm, stuff?
Stranger: stuff with what?
Stranger: (am no englishman, sorry)
You: Its fine and idk how about cotton candy?
Stranger: that would smell rather strange when it mixes with the rest of odours present….
Stranger: i’d use plastic bags
Stranger: you make many small balls out of them and stuff
You: Thats actually a really good idea but if i get hungry would it count as canibalism?
Stranger: hm, depends- some would say its an ecologically conscient way of using resources available
Stranger: why kill something when someyhing dead is there already?
You: Now that is a question i ask myself all the time
Stranger: yes, i bet
Stranger: is he dead already or is this all happening in the planing phase only?
You: Planning phase he always makes me get him a pepsi he can get his own damn pepsi so im going to put poisen in the pepsi and i have alot of cotten candy so ill stuff him with it
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: that mean bitch! a pepsi! how dare he???
Stranger: you are doing well, no doubt
You: Exactly that old fart and yes im doing well
Stranger: if it was fanta i’d at the limit understand
Stranger: but like that its not bearable
You: yes fanta i could make an exception but pepsi???? come on!
Stranger: i am gonna move on and leave you at your deserved revenge plans
Stranger: (have to get cigarettes and a can of pepsi
You: I wouldnt drink that can of pepsi
Stranger: i will
Stranger: (am taking it on my own)
Stranger: till then!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Harry Potter’s Birthday

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: ITS HARRY POTTERS BIRTHDAY
You: SH-T
You: I FORGOT
Stranger: omg
Stranger: HOW DARE YOU
Stranger: HE IS AN ICON. A LEGEND. A BEACON OF HOPE.
Stranger: AND YOU JUST FORGET?
You: HEY
Stranger: NO MY FRIEND, YOU DO NOT JUST ‘FORGET’
You: I REMEMBERED YOUR BIRTHDAY
Stranger: NO YOU DIDN’T
Stranger: IT WAS YESTERDAY
You: S–T
Stranger: I DIDN’T GET A CARD
You: SORRY MAN
Stranger: GOD, YOU’RE HOPELESS
You: I LOVE YOU MAN
Stranger: DON’T KNOW WHY I’M FRIENDS WITH YOU
Stranger: I LOVE YOU BRO, BUT COME ON, MAN UP, BUY ME A CAKE.
You: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT WHAT KIND
You: COOKIE?
You: COFFEE?
You: ICE CREAM?
You: VANILLA?
Stranger: NOOOO
Stranger: CHOCOLATE
Stranger: DOUBLE CHOCOLATE
Stranger: WITH A SIDE OF CHOCOLATE
You: YOU GOT IT NIG
You: YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU A CLOWN?
Stranger: NO
Stranger: I HATE CLOWNS
Stranger: DONT YOU DARE
Stranger: I’LL CRUCIO YOUR ASS IF YOU TRY
You: FUCK MAN WHAT ABOUT A MIME?
You: OR A WHOLE F-ING CIRCUS IF YOU WANT
You: MINUS THE CLOWNS OF COURSE
Stranger: NO. JUST A CAKE. AND THEN MAYBE, I WAS THINKING WE COULD WATCH A FILM?
You: SURE WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND
Stranger: MAYBE… LOVE ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW HOW I LOVE IT SO, OR IF YOU WANT DEATH AND DESTRUCTION… WELL I DON’T KNOW YOU PICK
You: LOVE
You: CAUSE I LOVE YOU
Stranger: MAN, THAT IS SO SWEET
You: YOU’RE SO SWEET YOU CHOCOLATY MOFO
Stranger: EXCUSE ME?
Stranger: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
You: AWW MAN
You: I MESSED UP AGAIN DIDNG I
You: DIDNT I!
You: IM SORRY MAN
You: I DIDNT MEAN IT
Stranger: YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT
Stranger: BUT I DONT BELIEVE YOU ANYMORE
Stranger: YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART.
You: NO
You: I LOVE YOUR HEART
You: I WOULDN’T DARE BREAK IT
You: DON’T LEAVE ME
You: I NEED YOU
Stranger: I GAVE MY HEART TO YOU AND YOU FORGOT ABOUT IT LIKE YOU FORGOT ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY
Stranger: AND NOW ITS ROTTEN AND MOULDY
Stranger: YOU DONT NEED ME THOUGH DO YOU
Stranger: NO
You: I DO
You: WITHOUT YOU
You: I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR
You: OKAY OKAY
You: IF IT CAN’T BE
You: THEN IM GOING TO DROWN MYSELF AND OUR ADOPTED SON
Stranger: NO
Stranger: DONT DO THAT
Stranger: I WANT YOU TO LIVE YOUR LIFE
You: I CAN’T
You: NOT WITHOUT YOU
Stranger: I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
Stranger: BUT THAT CANT HAPPEN IF IM IN YOUR LIFE
You: OF COURSE IT CAN
Stranger: YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON
Stranger: IM SORRY.
You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: IT’S OVER.
You: DON’T SAY THAT
Stranger: I HAVE TO
Stranger: FOR THE GOOD OF OUR HEARTS
You: GAH
You: IL ALWYAS LOVE YOU
Stranger: AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
Stranger: This has been the greatest omegle convo ever, thanks dude. xD bye!
You: haha hell yeah
You: see ya
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Revenge is acidic.

You: meow
Stranger: ….rrrwwwaaaahhhHHHHHHHH
Stranger: ijustateyou
You: but i taste bad.
Stranger: you did.
Stranger: so I spit you out
Stranger: threw some salt on you
Stranger: then ate you again
Stranger: ….rrrrwaaaHHHHHHH
You: yea n i ripped open ur stomach so ur stomach acid would spread to ur internal organs causing them to shut down n 4 u 2 die with me.
Stranger: and we died a painful death, the two of us. I, because of my insatiable hunger for strangers, you, for your love of revenge.
You: you understand me so well
Stranger: Hi, I’m Kate.
You: I’m Nikki.
Stranger: Where ya from!
You: california, u?
Stranger: Pennsylvania
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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