Posts Tagged scheme

World Domination!

You: hi
Stranger: Hey.
You: Say something witty! :D
Stranger: my wit is not free.
You: :(
You: how much?
Stranger: you cannot handle the wit.
Stranger: its like a mike tyson punch to the brain.
You: I totally can >:D
You: Oh…crap
You: maybe I can’t….
You: hmmm
You: Well this is awkward.
Stranger: lol.
Stranger: You…
You: What should we speak of now”? xD
Stranger: say something stupid.
You: OH That IS my FORTE good sir
You: Ducks can’t fly.
Stranger: I would have also accepted “Dog’s can’t look up”
You: Really?
You: Why not?
Stranger: Yeah.
Stranger: its the way their spines are formed.
Stranger: anyway… they have no aerial predators.
You: Holy crap you have got to be kidding me.
You: I cant believe I was living my life not knowing this.
You: T_T
Stranger: venture forth, citizen!
Stranger: glory in your new knowledge.
You: :D I shall spread it to the world!
Stranger: wallow in it like a pig… a thought pig.
You: Much like herpes
You: xD
Stranger: yes… I should probably tell you that knowledge does come with occasional cold sores.
You: Oh fudge D:
You: hmm…
You: well you do know how to cure a cold sore don’t you?
Stranger: flamethrower?
You: :D Amazing! It’s like you’re psychic!
Stranger: I am.
Stranger: I’m controlling everything you do.
You: :0
Stranger: I’m a mad puppeteer.
You: for reals?
Stranger: I’m just on Omegle cause i’m bored.
Stranger: yeah…
You: I KNEW there was some reason I bought that ugly shirt today
Stranger: controling everything a person does is quite tedius.
Stranger: tedious.
You: :( WHen you control me could you plz give me some fashion sense?
Stranger: Ok. You have sort of looked like an autistic 9 year old recently.
Stranger: I mean… Gold Lamee… really?
You: :D
You: But… i liked my shiny sweatpants :(
Stranger: No more.
Stranger: from now on I will groom you into becoming the worlds FINEST SUPERVILLAN!!!
You: :D oh goodie!
Stranger: sharpen your rapier wit, my friend…
Stranger: we’re going hunting!
You: :)
You: for knowledge?
Stranger: First step… see that baby.
You: that ugly one with barf on its face?
Stranger: FOR EVIL!
You: But… what if it barfed on the candy?
You: :(
Stranger: the candy is not for you to eat.
Stranger: it is for you to steal.
Stranger: to deprive the innocent of luxury.
You: OH! Okay that makes sense..
Stranger: Everyone in the world is like that baby.
Stranger: uncoordinated…
Stranger: ignorant…
You: :0
Stranger: and weak.
You: Oh my.
You: Except you right master?
Stranger: TAKE what you want.
Stranger: oh, no… especially me…
Stranger: I’m locked in this wheelchair.
Stranger: On a prison planet.
You: D:
You: I shall break you out!
Stranger: I was like you once…
Stranger: I was naive and free.
Stranger: but I hesitated.
Stranger: I showed them mercy.
Stranger: NEVER AGAIN!
You: So mercy is bad?
Stranger: I will train you to crush them, with your steely fists.
You: yay :)
Stranger: only use mercy to get what you want…
You: what do I want?
Stranger: to crush the spirit.
You: >:)
Stranger: kittens… all the kittens in the world.
Stranger: you will implant them with robotic eyes…
Stranger: and LASERS!
Stranger: Phase one.
Stranger: they will laugh at you , oh YES!
Stranger: but you will laugh last.
You: Ah! And what will the kittens be used for?
Stranger: PHASE TWO you imbecile!
You: Sorry T_T
You: er.. what was phase 2 again?
Stranger: a complicated financial stratagem involving cocoa futures and certain derivatives of which you are unworthy of knowing.
You: Oh my :0
You: I think my small brain is about to esplode
Stranger: Phase 3?
Stranger: You will build a time machine.
Stranger: Using the cybernetic kittens to battle the Time rats, you will travel back and sabotage certain crops with a genetically engineeered SUPERmold.
You: :0
You: oh….
You: This plan makes perfect sense!
You: I must go prepare, master.
You: Be lurking on for this :)
You: I’m going to title it “World Domination!”
You have disconnected.

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