Posts Tagged self-promo

may the fonze be with you

Stranger: Have you ever masturbated with someone of the same sex?
You: do u wish to join the church of the fonze my child?
You: nope
You: that would be a sin
You: =D
Stranger: According to who?
Stranger: The Fonz?
You: lol the almighty tv star the fonzee
Stranger: Or his Creator, Henry Winkler?
You: lol both
You: the fonzee is like jesus
You: and henry is god
You: =D
You: lol
Stranger: I bet when he masturbates, he just taps his penis, and semen just starts pouring out immediately.
Stranger: Like some kind of sexual jukebox.
Stranger: Or something.
You: lol thats where the rain comes from
You: lol
Stranger: That makes sense.
You: hahahahahaha
You: you sir are remarkable
Stranger: Those Days must be very Happy.
You: lol yessss
Stranger: I will never be forlorn with rain again.
Stranger: I shall look into the sky.
Stranger: And smile as His seed drops down upon me.
You: lol stink out your toungeee
You: stick*
You: lol
Stranger: What about acid rain though?
Stranger: WTF is up with that?
You: his diaria
Stranger: Hmmmm.
You: he eats spicy boretoss
Stranger: Actually, I’m more inclined to believe that its a urine/semen mixture.
You: hmmm could very well be
Stranger: Urine’s acidic, right?
You: yep
Stranger: Well, there you go.
Stranger: Granted, urine and semen rarely mix.
You: lol u sir are quite witty
Stranger: But the Fonz can do as He pleases.
You: lol
Stranger: He just taps it and the urethra opens wide in all directions.
You: llolllll!!!
Stranger: His diarea bust be…
Stranger: idk.
Stranger: Volcano ash?
Stranger: Hail?
You: lol possibly
You: lol
Stranger: Meteors.
Stranger: Must be meteors.
You: yes thats it meteors!!!!!!!!
Stranger: I mean, I’ve never seen him take a sh-t, right?
Stranger: So it must not happen often.
You: lol yes
You: lol he doesnt eat enough fiber
Stranger: Fock no, he ain’t old.
You: lolll
Stranger: He’s eternally young.
Stranger: No matter how many times you watch Happy Days, he NEVER ages.
Stranger: How the f*ck else do you explain that?
You: lol this has been awsome
You: lol
You: i have no ideaa
Stranger: You gotta think of these things.
Stranger: Everything’s a sign.
You: lol u expanded my mindddd
Stranger: Glad to help.
You: you sir are the most interesting person ive talked to on here
Stranger: Go say 20 HEEEEEY Mary’s and 10 Our Fonzs.
Stranger: I must depart.
You: lol!! u are awsome this is going on omgle chats.com
Stranger: May the Fonz be with you.
You: as to u sir
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Waldo? Is that you?

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Hi
Stranger: GODDAMN YOU FOUND ME
You: Yeah, what what Waldo!
Stranger: *sigh*
You: What the flip do I win?!?!
Stranger: i’ve spent so many years hiding
Stranger: from EVERYBODY
Stranger: different pages in books
Stranger: all over the place
Stranger: and now , i have to take my life and do something else.
You: Like what?
Stranger: because you found me. the very first person.
You: What shall you do with your life?
Stranger: i don’t know , maybe put my math degree to use and become an accountant?
You: Accounting sucks! You should enter the world championship of hide n seek, you could beat Bin Laden!
Stranger: *bangs head against desk* and i was SO good at being inconspicuous.
Stranger: oooooooh.
Stranger: that thought never occured to me.
Stranger: i’ve been around longer than Bin Laden anyways.
Stranger: he’s a MERE amateur
You: Hiding longer too!
Stranger: I , I am a professional. and indeed I have been!
Stranger: if you keep this between you and i kid , you will get the satisfaction of knowing that I HAVE been found
Stranger: and i am only going to go back into hiding
You: Okay, I won’t tell…
You: Not like anyone would believe me anyways
You: You are the great WALDO!
Stranger: no child shall ever find me again! or my name isn’t WALDO , Wally, Jura, Holger, Charlie, Hetti, Walter, Valli !
Stranger: Thanks young padwan. perhaps on day you can learn from I , the master of hiding and you yourself shall have a series of books , puzzles , comics etc.,
You: Yeah! You got the spirit!
You: Thanks so much for this wonderful inspiration…
Stranger: I think this conversation should be submitted to omeglechats.com
You: Wally?
Stranger: and anytime! yes padwan?
You: I’m gonna miss you…
Stranger: I will miss you more.
Stranger: this conversation has been fantabulous
Stranger: but it is time more me to finally move on and get back to hiding! thank YOU for inspiring me to hide again!
You: Yeah, I guess it it time for us to part…
Stranger: :(
Stranger: goodbye!
You: Byee!
Stranger: *jumps into book*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Alphabet Chat

You: B is for bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble. B is for bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble. B is for bubble like bubble gum and B is for brother who brought you some. There’s no better letter for bubble gum than B is for bubble…
Stranger: omg you legend!
Stranger: :3
You: C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me.
Stranger: continue!
Stranger: :P
You: D is for donuts that’s good enough for us.
You: E is for egg salad — my favorite
You: F is for friend. Will you be mine?
Stranger: yes
You: G is for good gravy
Stranger: i is for inuit cold as the sea
You: I love igloos too!
Stranger: continue the aplabet
You: T is for tundra
Stranger: :)
You: H is for HELLO!!!!!!!!
Stranger: v is for vuvuzela their good enough for me
You: J is for JELLO!
You: D is sometimes for disgusting.
Stranger: k is for koolaid the sour tart drink :)
You: K is for kit kats. I love chocolates.
Stranger: :)
You: L is for lazy and dirty laundry
Stranger: s is for soviet russia where juice drinks YOU!
You: M is for mom always said don’t throw balls in the house.
Stranger: true
You: N is for nice things like green grass
Stranger: and you :)
You: O is for OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that’s so nice.
Stranger: you are nice
Stranger: :)
You: P is for pals. You are my pal.
Stranger: you make my week :)
Stranger: we are both pals
You: Q is for quince. I like fruit.
Stranger: L is for legend , you are one of these
Stranger: i love fruit
You: R is for right now I’m very happy.
Stranger: :)
Stranger: were happy too :)
You: S is for sleep. I will definitely do that tonight.
Stranger: the royal we
You: T is for totally awesome — you are!!!!
Stranger: x is for xray ouch , that hurt x
You: U is for the umbrella that I didn’t need today because it was a very sunny day today.
Stranger: 0_o
You: V is for violets and other nice smelling flowers.
Stranger: l is for luck , its not blowing a Gale :)
Stranger: L
You: W is for WOW!! I didn’t understand what you just wrote.
You: X is for xray. You are right.
You: Y is for YOU!!!!!!!!
Stranger: s is often for sad , but not now!
You: Z is for zipper I have them on my coat.
Stranger: P is for parrot Skwawk , omg!
You: P is for pumpkin pie. But I like potato pie better.
Stranger: as do i
You: A was forgotten but now I remember — Awesome just like you!!!
Stranger: :3
Stranger: T is for touched, i am by this convo :)
You: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Stranger: V is for villain , some are good some are bad
You: I love the alphabet. Yes some are good. I like when they have special powers that they use for good.
Stranger: :)
You: You have make my W is for week. Thanks for your c is for company.
Stranger: y for you have no idea how special i feel , getting to talk to a genious right now
You: T is for thank you!!!!
You: I was waiting for someone nice to talk to today. You really meet some c is for crazy people on here.
Stranger: :)
You: I will download our conversation and post it for all to see when we say b is for bye-bye.
Stranger: on what website?!
Stranger: call it alphabet chat
You: There’s an omegle website
You: You are the clever one — I like that.
Stranger: aaw this is soo great :)
Stranger: definitely call it alphabet chat so i can find it
You: I will. Perhaps we will meet again. Have a wonderful evening. And if we don’t meet again, have a wonderful life and remember someone out here loves you.
Stranger: omg xx
Stranger: t is for thank you
Stranger: for making my day
Stranger: :)
You: Bye pal!
You have disconnected.

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FBI pedo hunting

You: Hello there sir
You: I’m investigator Norman Jayden, FBI
Stranger: Awesome.
You: May I ask you a few questions?
Stranger: Yep.
You: have you seen any pedophiles around here lately sir?
Stranger: To be honest, this is the first conversation I’ve had in several weeks, so, I
Stranger: ‘m not particularly aware of the goings-on now.
Stranger: Maybe they’re all hiding.
You: I see, thank you sir
You: Do you have a clue of where their hideout may be?
You: Or an idea who I should speak to?
Stranger: 4chan, perhaps.
You: Ah, thanks
You: Finally:
You: May I ask your permission to try and post this conversation on omegle chats?
Stranger: Go for it, awesome person!
You: Thank you sir
You: I wish you a fine day, and you know who to contact when you run into pedophiles
Stranger: Norman Jayden, FBI.
You: Thank you
You: Thank you for your time sir
You have disconnected.

I have slightly edited this chat and yes, I used the name of a Heavy Rain character because I am not creative.

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1 fez, 3 galleons.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.
You: Can I have a fez?
You: A purple fez with green velvet tassels
Stranger: Sure, want a bow-tie too?
You: Yeah, sure. Can I have a bow tie made of real zebra fur and a toenail from a 23 year old hermaphrodite?
Stranger: Sure thing, brotato chip.
You: How much does that come to?
You: I’m kind of on a budget
You: Under ten million, right?
Stranger: Six Galleons.
You: Oh… Is that a basilisk tooth? How much for that?
Stranger: Oh, well if you buy a Squirtle, you get it for free.
Stranger: Squirtles cost seven acorns.
You: Okay, I’ll take three squirrels, the fez, and the tie. That means I get three free basilisk teeth, right?
Stranger: Yes.
Stranger: Paper or Plastic?
You: BOTH.
Stranger: Very well, here you are.
You: So… Do you sell toothpaste here?
You: Theese teeth have cavities.
Stranger: I sale Crest.
You: Oh, ew.
Stranger: The tubes are three years old though..
You: Never mind
You: Hmm…
You: I’m just going to browse the rest of the store
Stranger: Alright, just say if you need anything.
You: I WANT HERMIONIE GRANGER! and a rocketship.
Stranger: I love you.
You: I love you too.
Stranger: Because I only eat protein shakes, falcon eggs, and rocks.
You: Dumbledore! Why are you being such a lousy boyfrienn?
Stranger: Did you get my text?
You: So don’t you tell me to go, say I’m the one, d-d-d-do you think I’m dumb? Sorry, did I just stutter?
Stranger: AVPM and AVPS are quite possibly the funniest things I have ever seen.
You: And I’m happy as a squirrel, long as I’m with Mr. Quirrell!
You: Lol
You: Im actually listening to Stutter right now. I bought it ton itunes
Stranger: At the end of AVPS when they start singing the Hogwarts song, I almost cried.
You: Me too!
You: I’m Hannah.
Stranger: I’m Austin.
Stranger: Nice to meet you.
You: This is sooo going on omeglechats.com
Stranger: Haha

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Tags! You’re… Its?

There’s going to be a bit of a pause in post updates for a while, I’m going back and trying to get everything already up on the site tagged a bit for your perusal enjoyment. Keep submitting!

(PS – Tag cloud is over on the right there. No, on the left side of the right. Below the ad. No, above… Yah, right there.)

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World Domination!

You: hi
Stranger: Hey.
You: Say something witty! :D
Stranger: my wit is not free.
You: :(
You: how much?
Stranger: you cannot handle the wit.
Stranger: its like a mike tyson punch to the brain.
You: I totally can >:D
You: Oh…crap
You: maybe I can’t….
You: hmmm
You: Well this is awkward.
Stranger: lol.
Stranger: You…
You: What should we speak of now”? xD
Stranger: say something stupid.
You: OH That IS my FORTE good sir
You: Ducks can’t fly.
Stranger: I would have also accepted “Dog’s can’t look up”
You: Really?
You: Why not?
Stranger: Yeah.
Stranger: its the way their spines are formed.
Stranger: anyway… they have no aerial predators.
You: Holy crap you have got to be kidding me.
You: I cant believe I was living my life not knowing this.
You: T_T
Stranger: venture forth, citizen!
Stranger: glory in your new knowledge.
You: :D I shall spread it to the world!
Stranger: wallow in it like a pig… a thought pig.
You: Much like herpes
You: xD
Stranger: yes… I should probably tell you that knowledge does come with occasional cold sores.
You: Oh fudge D:
You: hmm…
You: well you do know how to cure a cold sore don’t you?
Stranger: flamethrower?
You: :D Amazing! It’s like you’re psychic!
Stranger: I am.
Stranger: I’m controlling everything you do.
You: :0
Stranger: I’m a mad puppeteer.
You: for reals?
Stranger: I’m just on Omegle cause i’m bored.
Stranger: yeah…
You: I KNEW there was some reason I bought that ugly shirt today
Stranger: controling everything a person does is quite tedius.
Stranger: tedious.
You: :( WHen you control me could you plz give me some fashion sense?
Stranger: Ok. You have sort of looked like an autistic 9 year old recently.
Stranger: I mean… Gold Lamee… really?
You: :D
You: But… i liked my shiny sweatpants :(
Stranger: No more.
Stranger: from now on I will groom you into becoming the worlds FINEST SUPERVILLAN!!!
You: :D oh goodie!
Stranger: sharpen your rapier wit, my friend…
Stranger: we’re going hunting!
You: :)
You: for knowledge?
Stranger: First step… see that baby.
Stranger: STEAL ITS CANDY!
You: that ugly one with barf on its face?
Stranger: FOR EVIL!
You: But… what if it barfed on the candy?
You: :(
Stranger: the candy is not for you to eat.
Stranger: it is for you to steal.
Stranger: to deprive the innocent of luxury.
You: OH! Okay that makes sense..
Stranger: Everyone in the world is like that baby.
Stranger: uncoordinated…
Stranger: ignorant…
You: :0
Stranger: and weak.
You: Oh my.
You: Except you right master?
Stranger: TAKE what you want.
Stranger: oh, no… especially me…
Stranger: I’m locked in this wheelchair.
Stranger: On a prison planet.
You: D:
You: I shall break you out!
Stranger: I was like you once…
Stranger: I was naive and free.
Stranger: but I hesitated.
Stranger: I showed them mercy.
Stranger: NEVER AGAIN!
You: So mercy is bad?
Stranger: I will train you to crush them, with your steely fists.
You: yay :)
Stranger: only use mercy to get what you want…
You: what do I want?
Stranger: to crush the spirit.
You: >:)
Stranger: kittens… all the kittens in the world.
Stranger: you will implant them with robotic eyes…
Stranger: and LASERS!
Stranger: Phase one.
Stranger: they will laugh at you , oh YES!
Stranger: but you will laugh last.
You: Ah! And what will the kittens be used for?
Stranger: PHASE TWO you imbecile!
You: Sorry T_T
You: er.. what was phase 2 again?
Stranger: a complicated financial stratagem involving cocoa futures and certain derivatives of which you are unworthy of knowing.
You: Oh my :0
You: I think my small brain is about to esplode
Stranger: Phase 3?
Stranger: You will build a time machine.
Stranger: Using the cybernetic kittens to battle the Time rats, you will travel back and sabotage certain crops with a genetically engineeered SUPERmold.
You: :0
You: oh….
You: This plan makes perfect sense!
You: I must go prepare, master.
You: Be lurking on Omeglechats.com for this :)
You: I’m going to title it “World Domination!”
You have disconnected.

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cause for 9/11

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: heey
You: mission get my convo on omeglechats.com
You: you in?
Stranger: sure!
You: ok we have to talk about something stupid, got any ideas?
Stranger: not really, you?
You: FUcCK
You: i dont =\
Stranger: fucck.,.
You: this is a fail
You: :(
You: ah whatever maybe we’ll make it anyway
You: there
You: is still a chance
Stranger: haqhahah so stranger do you have a age?
You: i might
Stranger: and that is?
You: im 76
You: bit creepy?
Stranger: damn really?
You: nooo
You: im 16
Stranger: hahahah oh well gooodd (: do you have a gennder?
You: wait lemme check
You: yup
Stranger: :)
You: there’s a penis down there
Stranger: oh good!
You: yes i would be mad if it wasnt there
You: its been known to leave me
Stranger: ohhhh, really? interesting..
You: does your penis do that?
Stranger: hmmm? i dont think i have a peniss. i have boobbss, they dont leave mee. haha
You: your penis must have ran away
Stranger: oh maybe..
You: my penis caused 9/11
Stranger: oh really..
You: yup, got 2 years in jail
You: oh shit!
You: did you see that guy do that thing?
You: look turn around!
You: *disapears*
You have disconnected.

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