Posts Tagged wtf

Masticating

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hello
You: Hi..
Stranger: before we start to converse i have some questions you need to answer
You: I NEED to answer ?
You: Okay, and what are they ?
Stranger: Have you ever seen a pachyderm?
You: I have not .
Stranger: solve for “x”
You: o.O
Stranger: correct.
Stranger: do people treat you differently knowing you own a chainsaw?
You: Do you know what Masticating is ?
You: No, not really.
Stranger: incorrect.
Stranger: correct.
Stranger: True or false?
You: True ..
Stranger: Who is you favorite prehistoric cartoon character?
You: Seeing as there are only a few , Fred flinstone ..?
Stranger: Correct.
Stranger: What kind of butter is foun in sylvester stallone’s fridge?
You: “I can’t believe it’s not Butter ! X|” Butter .
Stranger: Who would win in a fight? Axl Rose or a white tailed deer?
You: A Fox .
Stranger: Very good
Stranger: what do you see in this inkblot?
You: A tree, a few raspberries, and a small Child.
You: And a squirrel .
Stranger: I spy something green and stringy. What is it?
You: Molded intestines.
Stranger: Paper or plastic?
You: Both.
Stranger: R.L. Stine bites a moose. Who catches diabetes?
You: The-rapist standing by .
Stranger: Respond to the following statement “I have a dixie cup up my but and it causes me great pain.”
You: There’s two T’s in the word Butt.
Stranger: Clever.
You: I suggest removing it .
Stranger: Where’s the peck of pickled peppers peter piper picked?
You: In the field ..
You: Where else ?
Stranger: Have you ever been stopped for watching “flounder porn” while intoxicated?
You: Not yet .
You: Define Intoxicated ,,
Stranger: no time for that.
Stranger: if a monkey lands on mars at approximately 5 PM and I ride a yellow cyborg tortoise to the scene at 6 PM, how much acid did I take?
You: Where would you buy a Yellow Cyborg ?
Stranger: Very good.
Stranger: Deal or no deal?
You: Your deal.
Stranger: and finally: What was the first thing Hercules said when he got out of the time machine?
You: Where the hell am I ?
You: This isn’t the Gay bar..
Stranger: DING DING DING!
Stranger: YOU WIN THE PRIZE!!!!
You: O.o
You: Flounder porn?
Stranger: No, even better!
You: Yellow Cyborg?
Stranger: You are now the 7th Fanta girl!
You: YESSSSSSSSSS.
Stranger: CONGRATS!!!
You: Wait, what colour am I ?
You: .. Green ? :D
Stranger: Close, vomit green!
You: Oh, my god . I have to call my Mother/
You: She’ll be so Pleased !
Stranger: she will! and once again thanks for playing!
You: I didn’t know I was playing ,
You: But, cool .
Stranger: haha thanks for responding to the questions
Stranger: most just disconnect lol
You: Oh
You: It was fun . Who knows what those bastards missed.
Stranger: haha yeah you made it funny for a change
You: Oh, xD
You: There’s a first.
Stranger: yup
You: So you agree .. ?
Stranger: agree to it being the first fun time ive done this? yes.
You: :D
You: Personally, I thought you were going to ask me if I was a rapist of something fun like that .
You: *Or
Stranger: haha i have different questions every time so i have asked that
You: Ah,
You: Only the newbies say yes.
Stranger: except for the yellow tortoise cyborg, i use that one all the time lol
You: Good.
You: I hate a turtle,
You: Well, not a tortoise..
You: Lol, *Have
Stranger: what kind?
You: Red eared Slider.
You: :D
You: His name’s Howard.
Stranger: ah thats cool
You: Haha,
Stranger: i love reptiles
You: Me too,
Stranger: i work at this reptile place and we have this super friendly king cobra that i play with lol
Stranger: he has no venom tho
You: That’s so Cool !
Stranger: yeah its sick
You: :]
Stranger: awesome place
You: :D
You: I wish we had something like that here .
You: I just got my little buddy from a Pet Store ..
You: Not much fun in that ..
You: Besides the Puppies . :D
Stranger: haha if he makes you happy it doesnt matter
Stranger: puppies are funny too lol
You: :D
You: I like how clumsy they are.
Stranger: we got a big bin of them in the store downstairs
You: Aww, ‘
Stranger: haha yeah always falling over each other
You: :D
You: Hmm,
Stranger: hmm
You: Lol ,
You: Do you perhaps have any more questions ?
Stranger: hmmm
You: Haha, if you don’t, that’s fine . It’s just Interesting.
Stranger: Does family dentistry mean the entire family joins in to clean up your choppers?
You: It should, xD Especially if you call them Choppers.
Stranger: If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would that be considered kitty litter?
You: No . It would only be considered “Kitty Litter” If you threw said Kitten into a Garbage bag.
Stranger: Do you like to drive your care between the lanes and pretend that you are pacman munching up the dots?
You: Yes, yes I do .
You: Although, my car is blue, and I feel like one of the Ghosts.
You: Eventhough I’d much rather be PacMan.
Stranger: Pacman always loses though
You: :O
Stranger: theres infinite levels, so you have to die sometime lol
You: I suppose.
Stranger: well, its been great but i gotta go practice some stuff or my guitar teachers gonna kill me haha
You: haha, alright.
You: Thanks !
You: And, good luck with the guitar, lessons.
Stranger: thanks for answering my questions haha
You: Or, something.
You: haha no problem.
You: Thanks for asking them . :D
Stranger: no problem dude haha
Stranger: they just pop in my head out of nowhere lol
You: Even better !
You: xD
You: Okay, so that you don’t get massacred by your teacher,
You: you should probably go .
You: But, It was fun talking at you .
Stranger: you too dude haha
You: :P
You: Except, I don’t have to worry about getting killed .
You: I do, but not like that . xD
You: Alright, Peace.
You have disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

,

No Comments

Doc can’t save me on Omegle.

Stranger: I’m a medical student that will drive an Aston Martin when he’s a doctor:)
Stranger: you?
You: You arrogant bastard.
Stranger: Thanks, i’m proud of it.
Stranger: What about u?
Stranger: Next to that: i worked hard for it
You: Yeah, no doubt because you were pushed into it. You were pushed hard for it.
Stranger: No, it’s my dream to help people. In fact i don’t give a duck about the money. The specialisation i will choose doesn’t pay that well.
You: Now put all your success down to your own efforts and discredit your parents who instilled in you a driven, diligent nature and nurtured your creativity. Double bastard.
Stranger: Listen guy, i’m the one that helps you when you get a hearth attack. I’m the one that saves you from your car wreck when you had a severe road accident. I’m the one that risks his own life to save you. People die in my helicopter every day because help came too late. Do you think i give a damn about the money or being rich?
Stranger: I feel rich when my patients survive.
You: NO YOU LISTEN… I’m the one who–aah…wait…AAGH…AEDGSKLFHG…HEART–ATTACK–
You have disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

,

No Comments

naming metals

Stranger: \m/
Stranger: METAL
You: Weighing the baby at the clinic was a problem. The baby wriggled, so the doctor held the baby and stood on the scales. Then the nurse held the baby and stood on the scales. Then the doctor held the nurse who held the baby and stood on the scales. The three results were 78 kg, 69kg, and 142 kg respectively. What was the weight of the baby? ___kg
You: STEEL
Stranger: FVCK YEA
You: IRON ORE
You: COPPER
Stranger: MOAR

You: ALUMINIUM
Stranger: MMMM
Stranger: YEA BABY
Stranger: MORRREEEE
You: WIRE
Stranger: …nah
You: PLATINUM
Stranger: not wire
Stranger: YEA
You: THAT WRINKLY ONE
Stranger: OH F\CK YEA
Stranger: MMMM

Stranger: METALS FTW
You: ANSWERING MY MATH PROBLEM FTW
Stranger: nah, way too much thinking at 5:30 a.m.
You: fair enough
Stranger: word
Stranger: alright, well i’m gonna go now
Stranger: bye
You: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast)

, ,

No Comments

Did I Mention..?

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hi :D
You: you are on a train.
Stranger: I am?
You: yes, you are.
Stranger: Is it a nice train?
You: it can be, it’s up to you.
Stranger: Okay! :D
Where am I going said train?
Stranger: in*
You: you don’t know. you have an idea where you want to be, but you’re not compleley sure if that’s where you’re headed.
Stranger: Oooh :o
Stranger: Am I allowed to sleep? :3
You: if you like. you don’t know how long you’re going to be on the train and neither do i. so you can do what you like, i won’t mind.
Stranger: okay :D
Stranger: Can I cuddle with you? :3
You: i didn’t say i’d be there. maybe i would be, maybe i wouldn’t be.
Stranger: but if you are, can I cuddle you?
You: i think that would be okay.
You: where would you want to go?
You: it’s up to you.
Stranger: hmmmmm.
Stranger: Somewhere fun. How ’bout………the end of a rainbow :3
You: okay, if that’s what you’d want.
You: we could do that.
Stranger: yay[:
You: did i mention the train was my penis?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

,

No Comments

pepe

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi asl
You: MAY I COLLECT YOUR BELLY LINT FOR FURTHER OBSERVATION?
Stranger: sure
Stranger: if you can find some
You: I ALREADY HAVE, THERE IS A WHOLE TUPPAWARE CONTAINER FULL OF IT IN YOUR CAVERNOUS BELLY BUTTON
Stranger: ………
Stranger: well than
Stranger: I know i havent cleaned it
You: IT IS QUITE THE SPECIMEN IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF!
Stranger: but my belly button cleaner pepe is suppose to
Stranger: well
Stranger: by pepe
You: WELL I KILLED PEPE!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

,

No Comments

??????

You: You: hello mark silly i read dark
Stranger: what
Stranger: more like
Stranger: me: wtf?
You: am i right
Stranger: what?
You: dwarfing clock
Stranger: are you a nerd
You: we have wal mart
Stranger: you talking a world of warcraft language ?
Stranger: we got ralphs
You: no we got troubl;e
Stranger: we got tits
You: but i choose if it has a beard
Stranger: ur gay
You: if pork taste like ham
You: and ham taste like pork
Stranger: i dont eat pork
Stranger: so i wouldnt know
You: what the hell does money taste like
Stranger: are you that retarded
Stranger: paper
You: the do reads more than you
Stranger: speak english
Stranger: what
You: ranger: ur gay this is what u say
You: i answer: gay-happy
Stranger: i answer
Stranger: i know your gay
Stranger: i meant gay = homo
You: you know you are young and silly butt gey=homo
Stranger: dude i dont know whats wrong with you, but you got issues
You: you silly hobo
You: force the orange
Connection imploded.

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

,

1 Comment

Jorts

Stranger: ask me anything
You: what do u do if a walrus eats your pants?
Stranger: use jorts instead
You: i see
You: well ummm do u got any jorts?

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

,

No Comments

BOO!

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: boo
You: AH!@!
You: JESUS, don’t scare me like that
Stranger: sorry… i didn’t mean too
You: i think you’re lying
You: …BOO!!
Stranger: EE GADS!
You: okay now we’re even
Stranger: haha I guesss soo
You have disconnected.
or send us feedback
Was this conversation great? Download the log!

VN:F [1.9.17_1161]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

No Comments